Grandmaster Wang / Contributing Writer

Apparently, WWLTV.com blogger Contributing Writer and podcaster internet radio show host Ralph Malbrough has a burning sensation, and the invading fungus is "Black and Gold pom-pom waving, don’t be negative, and the Saints season is going to be all lollipops and sunshine fans." No word on whether or not itching and chafing are involved as well.

Ralph probably should have just applied a topical cream, but instead, he decided to lay down some "brutal honesty" on our pollyanna asses in the form of a "10 Burning Questions" post column which, as the name implies, contains ten three questions regarding the impending DOOOOM that awaits our Saints this fall. As you know, here at moosedenied, there’s nothing we love more than being insulted for daring to be optimistic about our Saints, and being shown the light by our "realist" superiors. Thanks, Ralph! Allow me to return the favor by offering a friendly retort.

more…

There’s no denying that the Saints sucked ass in 2007. They were terrible. 2006 was a fluke resulting from nobody taking them seriously. 2007 exposed the Saints for what they are, a slightly-below-average team with a great QB, exactly one legit wideout, no running game and no defense whatsoever.

So why is it that I’m about to deny all of that?

Could it be because it’s bullshit?

Or is it because I’m a homer? Actually, it’s plenty of both. But let’s focus on the former.

more…

Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good. For the Tampa Bay Bucs, last year was one of those times.

Oh, they were good too. They were about as good defensively as the Saints were offensively. That in and of itself qualifies as pretty "lucky", given that half their defense remembers the Taft administration and the other half doesn’t remember the Reagan administration.

But even more than that, Zeus must really have a boner for Fabulous Jeff, a guy who was spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions. Either that or Hera was really trying to stick it to Ganymede.

more…

Last year at QB, the Pants started Jake Delhomme, David Carr, Matt Moore, Vinny Testaverde, Rodney Peete, Dameyune Craig, Jack Trudeau, Frank Reich, Steve Beuerlein, and Steve Bono. It got so bad, they were pretty close to calling Chris Weinke. Yikes.

But this year? Jake’s back, bitches! With one of those stringy, impossible-to-chew parts from a Bojangles™ Brand drumstick grafted onto his throwing elbow. And Jeff Otah! And Jonathan Stewart! And the Pants are going to RESTORE THE ROAR this fall! Or something. Right?

more…

This just in: The Falcons still blow.

But hey, five to eight years from now? Watch out, bitches! Atlanta’s got themselves a brand spankin’ new "face of the franchise" in the form of… another overrated ACC quarterback with two first names.

There have been rumors that the selection of Matt Ryan was a big misunderstanding in the first place. Evidently the Falcons’ rep actually told Herr Goodell that they wanted to select Glenn Dorsey, but Goodell thought he said "The Next Ken Dorsey."

more…

more…

Today, I would like to share with you a personal story of internet-based ennui.

See, I have this internet friend named Peyton [last name withheld]. Peyton is going to get a tattoo on his ribs soon, but he has run into a bit of a snag whilst preparing his design. The problem is that the font of his choosing, MS Serif, is too small. He needs for the text to be far larger, because he’s a big guy with huge ribs.

Naturally, Peyton did what anyone would do in that situation. He started a thread on an internet message board to ask if anyone knew of a bigger font he could use.

more…

He is legend.

Will Smith woke up this morning with 70 million brand spankin’ new reasons to get jiggy wit it. (Great, now DJ Jazzy Jeff is gonna start screaming for an extension too.)

And apparently, he’s about to tie the knot with this smokin’ little number.

It’s good to be the king. Right about now, it’s even better to be the prince.

As for Mickey Loomis, I guess that’s one down, two to go. You’ve gotta figure Big Number Twelve will be getting his soon enough. The going rate at the moment seems to be somewhere around $9MM (Randy Moss: 3 yrs/$27MM, Terrell Owens: 4 yrs/$34MM, Calvin Johnson: 6 yrs/$55MM) And then there’s Jahri Evans, who probably won’t snag quite as much cheese as Derrick Dockery’s 7 yrs/$49MM, but these days, you never know. You have to figure #73 is gonna have to wait in line behind #12, but if anybody can get them both done before they line up this fall, Mickey Loomis can.

more…