We’ve warned you before that part of the price you pay for reading this here blog is occasionally having to put up with a post about something you don’t give a shit about.

This could very well be one of those times, because today, I feel like posting my MLB All Star ballot. And while I’m at it, I’d like to shamelessly hype Geovany Soto, Catcher for the Chicago Cubs and future NL Rookie of the Year.

It also gives me a chance to make a supid BASIC-themed pun. And that’s always big fun. I’ll start with the American League first, because I don’t really care about the AL.

American League

C: Miguel Olivo - Kansas City Royals
It’s always nice to get your token Royal out of the way early. Minnesota’s Joe Mauer bats for a higher average and has a better OPB, but his power and run production are way down this year. Los Angeles of Anaheim’s Mike Napoli has 10 home runs and 23 RBI, but Olivo isn’t too far behind that, and Olivo catches runners stealing at a far better rate than the other two.

1B:  Justin Morneau - Minnesota Twins
Tight race between Morneau and Boston’s Kevin Youkilis. Morneau gets the nod based on defense.

2B: Ian Kinsler - Texas Rangers
First easy choice. Kinsler is the clear winner on merit. The only stat Dustin Pedroia has on him is PIB  (Plays In Boston)

SS: Michael Young - Texas Rangers
Oakland’s Bobby Crosby is a close second, but Young gets on base more, produces more runs and plays better defense. Unfortunately for Young, Derek Jeter is going to get points for being Derek Jeter. As always.

3B: Payrod - New York Yankees
Oh sure, I’d love nothing better than to put Cleveland’s Casey Blake or Chicago’s Joe Crede here, or that chick from the Rays who’s on Desperate Housewives. Payrod has missed some time, but not enough to disqualify him. And while his cumulative stats are comparatively weak because of the missed time, his average-based stats seem to indicate that without the missed time, the cumulative stats would be there too.

OF: Josh Hamilton - Texas Rangers
OF: Carlos Quentin - Chicago White Sox
OF: Manny Ramirez - Boston Red Sox
All three are pretty easy choices as far as I’m concerned. What Hamilton has been doing this year is just insane.

National League

C: Geovany Soto - Chicago Cubs
I’m a lifelong Cubs fan, but this is a merit vote. Offensively, it’s tight. Los Angeles of Compton’s Russell Martin and Atlanta’s Brian McCann are right there. Martin loses out based on power and run production. Soto and McCann are virtually identical offensively, but Soto has allowed 11 fewer stolen bases and has thrown out one more basestealer than McCann. Soto is the best defensively of the three offensive candidates. Yadier Molina is a worthy defensive candidate, but he doesn’t put up enough offense to be considered with the other three. Bottom line is that Geovany Soto is the most completely excellent catcher in the National League so far this year. He is among the league leaders in every significant offensive and defensive stat for catchers.

1B: Lance Berkman - Houston Astros
Again, seems like a pretty easy decision here. Sure, St. Louis’ Albert Pujols gets walked a lot. An awful lot. But that’s not Berkman’s fault. Berkman leads Pujols in every offensive stat except walks (and, hence, on base percentage.) Berkman has also stolen 10 bases (!!!) while only getting caught once, and plays much better defense.

2B: Chase Utley - Philadelphia Phillies
Arguably the best player in baseball. Simple as that.

SS: Jose Reyes - New York Mets
Miguel Tejada is a Mitchell Report slugger who is getting outslugged by the little guy. Statistically, they’re close. In the real world, Reyes is the far more useful player. Reyes plays a far more well-rounded game.

3B: Aramis Ramirez - Chicago Cubs
Quite possibly the tightest race of all. When I voted last week, I had Atlanta’s Chipper Jones here. When I vote next week, it’ll probably be the Mets’ David Wright. But since this is my blog, I’m going with the homer vote this time. It really is unbelievably close. Jones has the gaudy AVG, OBP and SLG. Wright has the run production and the ability to steal a base every now and then. Ramirez is somewhere in between, but as silly as this sounds to someone who has watched Ramirez play defense over the years, he’s actually probably the best of the three defensively right now. And I expect him to really get hot at the plate in June. If I took all homerism out of it, right this very minute, the merit vote would still be for Jones, with Wright 2a and Ramirez 2b. But I’m going with Ramirez anyway.

OF: Ryan Ludwick - St. Louis Cardinals
OF: Xavier Nady - Pittsburgh Pirates
OF: Nate McLouth - Pittsburgh Pirates
Last week, I had Milwaukee’s Ryan Braun in the place of Nady. I might flip flop again, but for now, Nady’s OBP is just too much higher than Braun’s for me to put Braun in there ahead of Nady.