[Musberger] You are looking LIVE [/Musberger] at the moistened crotch region of an ad executive’s Hugo Boss slacks, as Reggie Bush’s Shoes invade the RCA Dome to take on Peyton Manning’s Cellphone, with special guest appearances by various soft drinks, credit cards and video games, on the NFL’s Thursday Night Kickoff Somethingsomething, brought to you by Ford Trucks, Video Professor, and Nippon Ham! We’ll be right back after these messages.

Oh man, my nipples could crack walnuts right about now. It is SO on! Pierre Thomas will be riding shotgun as the Saints and their five, yes five tight ends invade the home of John Dillinger, Chuck Taylor and Dan Quayle to open up a huge can of whoopass on  Manning’s disproportionally-large head and the Colts.

(Son of a bitch. I started writing this yesterday morning, honest, and now this morning before I can get it finished up and posted, I find that Benjamin Hochman over at nola.com has jacked my theme. Ben, you bastard.) Continue Reading…