Well that was one hell of a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that sure didn’t smell like "just a win." That smelled more like a "springboard win."

The only thing I can come up with to bitch about this week is Drew Brees, who by his standards straight up sucked. Come on Drew, only 363 passing yards? Sheesh. 65.7% completion rate? Terrible. Minus-1 rushing? Come on, get your head out of your ass.

At the end of the first quarter, the guys on Fox were going on and on about how the 49ers’ blitzing was totally screwing with Drew’s mojo. They were right. Drew was 5-11 at the time with a pick. I turned to the guy sitting next to me and asked "So, how long do you think it’s gonna take before Drew figures this out and just starts ripping it apart?" It wasn’t long. There were only 6 more incompletions the rest of the game. Four passes of 30+. Three passing touchdowns. The craziest part of it all is that it doesn’t even blow my mind anymore. Continue Reading…

Take your pick.

I think this is gonna be the week, bitches. The timing seems to be just right for Dulymus’ triumphant return to the ranks of Dudes Sean Payton Allows To Tote The Rock.

The Believer will tell you that it probably makes more football sense than it would have in any of the first three games. San Francisco has the weakest run defense and the strongest pass defense the Saints will have faced so far.

The Cynic will tell you that, between the injuries and the public perception reaching critical mass, Coach Payton might not have much choice left. Continue Reading…

Assuming that the Saints are able to field a team Sunday, they’ll be back home in the Dome to take on the 49ers. In the meantime, the Saints’ very own DHARMA pit continues to fill with the bodies of the purged. Where’s Taller Ghost Walt when you need him?

Memo to Coach: Stop fucking with Ben.

The good news is that Terrance Copper may be available to re-assume his role as the Saints’ emergency quarterback, which will enable Sean Payton to insert Joey Harrington into his intended role… short-yardage tailback. Continue Reading…

Say, how’s that whole "Keep the grizzled veteran who sucked for 4 years, but has been PERFECT AS A SAINT over a sample size of 5 whole kicks" strategy workin’ out for ya? Pretty good?

Told You So Guy is a douchebag. Not as big a douchebag as Marteen, but a douchebag nonetheless. So I’ll refrain from being that guy. Instead, I’ll just say this: IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.

But on the plus side, how about that performance by Joey Harrington? Good thing we picked that guy up, and right in the nick of time too.  Continue Reading…

Ah sweet, sweet Colorado. How I love thee. Home of Lon Chaney, Jello Biafra and Ellis Wyatt. Adopted home of Midas Mulligan. Conveniently bisected by the Rio Norte Line. The brisk, mile-high thin air enveloping your purple mountains is enough to get a brother downright stoned. Especially when it’s inhaled through a bong. And the omelettes. Those magnificent omelettes.

Sure, John Denver was responsible for some of the most abhorrent music ever known to mankind, but you can hardly be held responsible for that. After all, he was originally from Texas. (Explains a lot, don’t it?)

SELA will always be "Home" for me. And I fully anticipate being dead by 40. But if for some reason I wake up one morning and discover that I’m an old man, chances are that if you need me, I’ll be in Colorado. Probably Denver or Colorado Springs, assuming I’m unable to locate Mulligan’s Valley. Continue Reading…

Well wasn’t that just a steaming pile of horseshit?

I’m gonna do my level best here to stop myself from hopping aboard the midnight train to Squirrel City, but unfortunately I can make no promises. I thought I’d feel better after sleeping on it and watching the game again while sober. Instead, it’s just made me start drinking again. Which I suppose will have to suffice as this week’s silver lining.

Perhaps it’ll help if I start with the positives. Here’s the list: Reggie Bush, Jon Vilma. The end. Through two games, Vilma is on pace for TWO HUNDRED tackles. Holy shit. I don’t even want to think about what this defense would be looking like right now without that guy. As for Reggie… well, it’s a little more complicated. It’s still inconsistent. It’s still a bit of a mixed blessing. He still can’t run for shit when he takes a handoff. But the bottom line is that he’s delivering. Color me impressed. Continue Reading…

Say, here’s something you might not have thought about lately: Did you know… that the Saints are 2-1 and have scored an average of 27 points in games without the services of Marques Colston?

Feel any better? Yeah, me neither.

It’s true though. Back in 2006, Big Number Twelve missed weeks 11, 12 and 13. In the first game, the Saints had their asses handed to them by Cincinnati. In the next two games, it was the Saints who were handing the asses, beating Atlanta and San Francisco by a combined score of 65-23. Continue Reading…

Now pick those splinters out of your ass and go get your pads on. And you better pray that you’re ready. Because your soul may belong to God, but your ass is mine.

If you haven’t heard the news yet, be prepared to vomit.

I saw you look like a Japanese baby
In an instant, I remembered everything

Confession: I had myself one hell of a case of squirrel-itis yesterday evening. I’m not proud of it, but I’m man enough to admit it. This is why I try not to spout off immediately after a game. For a while there, I was Message Board Guy. I had to shower twice to get the stink of crybag off of me.

The symptom? Well, after a week one division win in which the Saints put up 438 total yards, including six plays of 20+ and two of 40+, Reggie Bush put up 163 total yards, the defense gave up only 13 points, holding Fabulous Jeff to only 221 yards passing and Joey Galloway to only 56 yards receiving, while producing two sacks and an interception, all I wanted to think about was "This is bullshit, the Saints should have put up 40 and won by three scores." Continue Reading…