One of the more annoying things about the Saints being 5-0, for all intents and purposes having already won the division, being currently in possession of the #1 seed in the NFC, and all that other "good" shit, is all the obnoxious excitement and joy being expressed by fans who obviously don't truly get it. See, people get blinded by all the success and start thinking everything is great, when the reality is that we're actually screwed. SCREWED! Well, it's high time we put down the pom-poms, wipe those stupid smiles off our faces, wake the fuck up and start fearing the numerous bogeymen hiding under the bed. Because, as the realists among us already know, it's just a matter of time until they get us.

Oh, I'm full of shit? I'M full of shit???  For crying out loud, open your eyes, people! Don't you see that all this actually sucks? The whole goddamn thing is nothing more than an elaborate ruse. You might be fool enough to fall for it, but not this guy.

I suppose you think it's a good thing that the rest of the division is a combined 2-12, don't ya? Yeah, well what the hell do you think is gonna result from the Saints not having to play a meaningful game from Thanksgiving right through to the middle of January? What then, smart guy? You really think that's not gonna totally fuck up all their intangibles? The edge, the focus, the hunger?

When exactly are these 2013 Saints supposed to learn about handling adversity and coming back strong when they're not even challenged all fuckin' year because the rest of the division is a dumpster fire? How exactly are they supposed to maintain their humility and resist the urge to start thinking all they have to do to win is to show up? You really don't think that's inevitably gonna come back to bite them in the ass?

You probably also think it's pretty awesome that Seattle, Dallas, Detroit and Chicago lost too. Yeah, that's what all the homers have been saying this week. But that just makes it worse. All that does is make the cheese look all the more tempting.

Clinching the division (for all practical purposes) by the middle of October might not be so bad if some other team in the NFC could keep the battle for home field throughout the playoffs somewhat competitive to the end, because at least it would be something to play for. A reason to stay sharp. But noooo.

Let's just hope that at least one of those teams is able to bounce back and start winning again to keep the pressure on. Think we could maybe petition Roger to let them all take turns playing Houston every week for the rest of the season? So far, they've been doing everything they can to help us out by keeping the other NFC teams in it. Thanks, Texans!

Problem is, even that might not be enough at this point. Not with the Saints continuing to own the league's best road record since 2009, and having just beaten the 3-1 Bears on the road in a venue where the Payton/Brees Saints had previously been 0-3. And having done it in just about the most non-Saints way possible. Only 288 passing yards by Drew? Only 41 yards from scrimmage by Sproles? 2 for 15 by Colston? 37% on 3rd down and 1 for 3 in the Slap Ya Mama™ red zone? Hartley 4 for 4??? Outdoors? At Soldier Field???

The truth is, that win at Chicago might very well have been the worst possible thing that could have happened to the Saints last weekend. Because now Sean Payton and Rob Ryan are gonna start thinking they can just do whatever the hell they want. Just because it's "working."

And God help us all if they end up kicking the Mighty Patriots' asses in Foxboro for a second consecutive outdoors road win and third overall. Hell, people are already starting to mumble under their breath "Home field? That shit don't even matter." Worse yet, the longer this keeps up, the harder it'll be to argue with 'em. (Fortunately for us realists, we always have "I'm right and you're an idiot." to fall back on if all else fails. Oh, and Rotoworld. High five!)

"Yeah, but what about 16-0? That'll keep 'em motivated!" Right, like it kept 'em motivated in 2009? And besides, I hate to break it to ya, but over the last four decades previously-undefeated teams are winless in the Super Bowl anyway. So who gives a shit about that? Totally meaningless at best, full-blown distraction at worst. Don't you people understand that the more success they have, the more screwed we are? If not now, eventually.

No, deep down you know what's gonna happen. Sooner or later they're gonna end up blowing one against an obviously inferior opponent. Given that the Broncos aren't on the schedule and the Saints are a consensus #2 in the BCS at this point, it's pretty much inevitable. Hell, it might even happen this weekend. And then what do you do? What do you think is gonna happen when they start thinking about sitting starters in fuckin' week 8?

Good times, right? Not even close. What's really happening here is that suddenly we're balls-deep in the world's most "fun" no-win situation. No matter what happens from here, we're gonna end up fucked one way or another. And yet, all anybody wants to do right about now is "enjoy" it. Nobody's even considering the inevitable doom to come! It's ridiculous!

Homers. All of you.

Don't you people understand that although they're winning, they're not even doing it the right way? For one thing, they're WAY too dependent on Jimmy Graham these days. And in a contract year, to boot. What are they thinking? Did they learn nothing from allowing Drew to play himself into a franchise-crippling Romo/Ryan contract?

This is why we can't have nice things. Oh sure, it's all fun and games now, with Jimmy on pace to absolutely obliterate every tight end record in the books, and quite possibly several records currently held by the likes of Jerry fuckin' Rice. But the bill is about to come due, and Loomis is either gonna have to (over-)pay it or let the repo man come take him away. Either way, we're screwed. SCREWED!

Meantime, are they just gonna go ahead and let him break all the fuckin' records? All for the sake of… what… winning? Kicking everybody's ass? Pfft.

At what cost? AT WHAT COST?!? How shortsighted can you be? Because what the hell is Mickey Loomis supposed do then, pay him Calvin Johnson money? That contract he gave Drew is already TOTALLY SCREWING US and now he's gonna do it again? I mean, it's not like he can just let Jimmy go. Not potentially the greatest tight end in NFL history. We'd rightfully run him out of town on a rail. LOOMIS!!!

Sucks having all-time greats on the roster, doesn't it? All it does is screw things up.

It's certainly no way to win a Super Bowl. Well, maybe they could get lucky win one this year, but only at the expense of several other future ones. Which is totally inefficient and actually downright stupid.

So, yeah. You go ahead and have "fun" with all this "winning" and stuff, while it lasts. Just don't come crying to me when the house of cards comes tumbling down and you get your "heart" broken and you finally realize that you picked one hell of a bad time to be in "love" (whatever the hell that is) with this team. I tried to warn you that it was a trap, you were just too stupid to listen. Too caught up in all your so-called "good times" to understand that it was all a bunch of bullshit.


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