Cha ching! Considering that the Saints are now 13-0 and just set a new franchise single-season record for wins, it sure does feel like the whole thing's sinking, doesn't it?

The good news? There's still over a month to get healthy in the defensive backfield before the Saints play their next game that really matters in the grand scheme of things. And until then, just keep reminding yourself that the Saints could lose by 50 next week, and it would be little more than a nuisance. At the same time, we all know that they're still capable of hanging 50 on the next chumps at any time.

The bad news? That gnawing feeling in your gut is legit. To quote jeffrey from just after the game: "Saints really just surviving at this point." Indeed.

Fortunately for us, surviving is good enough for now. Hell, if the Saints can survive for six more games, that'll be just fuckin' peachy too. But of course, the observation implies the question: "How long can the Saints continue to survive like this?" And that's really the heart of the matter, isn't it?

The disturbing thing is that it's getting harder and harder to just chalk it all up to the absence of Porter and Greer these days. By now, we've all gotten used to that situation and we've gotten used to comforting ourselves by keeping in mind that that situation will work itself out in time for the playoffs. Fingers crossed.

Before the game, Sean Payton told Pam Oliver that the Saints needed to do what they didn't do in week 8 against the Falcons: protect the football and play good run defense. Done, and done. The Saints held the Falcons to 89 rushing yards, and the Saints didn't turn the ball over.

(I mean, sure, Reggie Bush did put the ball on the carpet without being touched… in the 3rd quarter… in the opponent's red zone… while the Saints were trying to go up by two scores. But he recovered it for only a 9 yard loss, and he scored on the next play, so we shall never speak of it again. I'm sure I'm being a huge dick for even mentioning it in the first place. Fortunately for me, I'm comfortable with being a dick.)

So why was this game even closer than that one?

Well, we can start here: Chris Redman completed 67.6% of his passes for 303 yards and a 93.1 passer rating. Chris Redman, for crying out loud! But again, we all know about the situation in the defensive backfield, and there's really not a whole lot more to be said about that. We're just gonna have to live with it, and I can't imagine anybody's surprised by it at this point. So let's not belabor it, let's just take it as a given.

Why is it that the Saints posted exactly one "sack" (by Ellis, for zero yards) against an offensive line whose left tackle and center were both banged up, which was also missing a starting guard? Why did Will Smith and Charles Grant combine for a whopping two tackles?

For that matter, why did the Saints' five defensive linemen not named Sedrick Ellis combine for five tackles all game? Outside of Ellis' "sack" at the line of scrimmage, I'm not even sure Redman was even hurried.

Why did the Saints only run the ball 26 times? And only 9 times after taking a 2-touchdown third quarter lead? Why could the Saints only muster 95 rushing yards, at a rate of 3.7 yards per carry, against the league's 23rd ranked rushing defense?

(To be fair, I realize that Bell was out, and Drew passed the ball to the tailbacks 12 times for 99 yards and 2 touchdowns, so I'll concede that I might be making too much of the lack of running the ball.)

Why, in a game where Drew passed the ball 40 times against the league's 30th ranked pass defense, did the Saints complete only one pass of 40+ yards (42 to Meachem) and only 3 others of 20+? (Pierre for 24, Reggie for 21 and Colston for 20.)

I mean, 7.2 yards per passing play? Really?

The Falcons are 29th in total defense. And the Saints produced a scant 5.8 yards per offensive play? Guh.

The Saints won time of possession 36:44 to 23:16. And they only scored 26 points? 3 of 6 in the red zone? And this was in a dome. A crappy dome, sure, but a dome nonetheless.

To me, the issue isn't that the Saints allowed the Falcons 23 points, even given that they were sans Matty Ice and Michael Turner. I mean, the Falcons score 23.2 on average anyway, and the Saints' season average is 21.1 points allowed per game. And while the absences of Ryan and Turner were surely a significant handicap for the Falcons, and God only knows how much uglier the Saints' defense's performance might have been without that huge advantage, in my opinion, it wasn't about the 23.

It was about the 26.

Until yesterday, the only defense to hold the 2009 Saints to 26 points or less was Rex Ryan's #1 ranked Jets defense. And the 29th ranked defense in the league held them to 26?

And, see, I promise I didn't plan this when I started typing. But I think I just talked myself back into "everything's fine" homer mode. Because really, this might have just been a bad day for the offense. And if that's true, well, how many of those does this offense really have? It was only the 4th time all year they've scored fewer than 30. And if not for a shanked PAT and a Les Miles moment….

Oh shit, I just talked myself back out of "everything's fine" homer mode.

Because it would appear that the revolver, the one that gets passed on to each successive Sean Payton kicker and is perpetually aimed directly at Payton's face, still has at least one round in the chamber.

And then there's the matter of Sean Payton's latest Les Miles Moment.

I have to admit that a day later, I'm slightly less disgusted and horrified by it. Slightly.

At the time, I shit you not, it took me probably a full five minutes to come to grips with the possibility that it was actually a called play.

I was 100% sure that it had to have been an ad lib on a busted snap/hold/what have you. It was just completely inconcievable that Payton would have actually had them run that play intentionally in that situation.

And this is coming from a guy who thought that the Superdome Special against Tampa was a perfectly reasonable call at worst, and borderline genius at best.

But this? This was just batshit insane.

It's fucking Football 101, for crying out loud. When you can extend a 3 point lead late in the 4th quarter to 6 points, you do it. Every single fucking time, no exceptions. You don't even think twice about it, it's a no-brainer. You put the pressure on the opponent to put the ball in the end zone to beat you, over giving them the option to tie with a field goal. It's the only reasonable option, and any other option is just mindbogglingly stupid.

Fortunately for me, over time, I have actually run across a handful of Message Board Guys who are capable of forming rational thoughts and expressing them in a coherent, compelling manner. Smart guys, far smarter than me is. And a couple of them were moderately successful in talking me down from the ledge yesterday re: this issue. Which isn't to say that they've changed my mind, but it was quite helpful, if only in that saying touché is a hell of a lot less painful than punching your own self repeatedly in the groin.

I can see the rationale. Just barely, but that'll have to do for now.

The Saints had been outscored 14-3 over the last 7:08. Hartley had already missed an extra point. So your confidence in both your kicker and your defense are pretty low at that point. (Say, sound familiar?) And considering the lack of confidence in the defense, why take the 6 point lead and leave the opponent no choice but to put the ball in the end zone to beat you?

Better to leave them the easy out, sending the game into overtime with a field goal. Because they'll probably take that, and you at least stand a 50/50 chance of winning the coin toss in overtime. Otherwise, their only option is to beat you in regulation, and if you don't have any confidence that your defense can do jack shit about it….

And of course, if you convert, you've got another four downs to run the clock at worst, and at best, you take a 10 point lead and effectively end the game.

So yeah, I suppose it wasn't completely ridiculous. Just mostly ridiculous. Not necessarily a Les Miles Grade Brain Fart, just your run of the mill brain fart.

Because, to paraphrase one of the aforementioned smart guys who happened to have drawn the same conclusion that I did… if you're gonna do that, if you're gonna eschew the 6 point lead in favor of trying to put the final nail in the opponent's coffin, if you're gonna be aggressive and try to end this thing right here and now with the ball in your possession…

You going with Drew Motherfucking Brees to Colston/Meachem/Henderson/Shockey/Thomas/Pierre/Reggie? Or are you going with Mark Brunell to either Darnell Dinkins… or Carl Nicks, for crying out loud? Seriously? You're rolling with Mark Brunell to Carl Nicks??? REALLY?

Oh, I know, I know, element of surprise and all. Yeah, element of surprise indeed. I have no doubt that nobody on the planet saw that coming. And for good reason.

And yeah, I'll concede that by the looks of it, if the play had been executed properly, it might very well have worked. Much like the Superdome Special against Tampa. The difference is that the latter, while a "trick play" or whatever, was still a fairly standard-issue play that depended on execution by the starting quarterback, a starting tailback and a starting wideout.

This? This started from a field goal formation, and depended on the backup quarterback who hadn't attempted a pass since 2006 throwing the ball to either the third tight end or a guard. A guard!

To hell with the "element of surprise." Put Drew in the shotgun with four wideouts, identify the Falcons' defensive captain and tell him precisely what Drew's about to do to them. Then run the fuckin' play.

Oh no! How ever will Drew Brees convert a 4th and 7? Clearly we must revert to our all-purpose Plan B! Which totally doesn't suck nearly as much as you think it does.

I mean, damn, coach. Aren't you the guy who wants nothing to do with the Wildcat because you won't hear of ever taking the ball out of Drew's hands for any reason? Yet you're trying to ice a game in which you have a mere three point lead by asking your 39 year old backup QB to get up off of one knee and throw the ball to Darnell Dinkins or a guard? Really? On what planet does that make sense?

Not to mention pissing all over the momentum. Which was (or could have been) in the Saints favor at that point, even on the road, and even after having been outscored 14-3 over the last 7 minutes.

Because despite that, the Saints had just responded to the Falcons tying the game with a 16 play, 63 yard drive which consumed 8:14 of the 4th quarter (8:14!!!) and ended with the Saints retaking the lead on a 38 yard field goal by the kicker you suddenly don't trust. The next two Falcons plays from scrimmage resulted in a 12 yard loss and and interception that Vilma brought back to the Falcons' 32.

Put points on the board there, even just 3, and maybe it doesn't put the game completely out of reach, but damned if it doesn't come close.

And you're rolling with Brunell to Dinkins or Nicks? On 4th and 7? Really?

Get your head out of your ass, coach. At your earliest convenience, if you don't mind.

I realize that the deck is stacked against you right now on the defensive side of the ball, and believe me when I tell you that I feel your pain. We all do.

But, just in case it might have slipped your mind, let me just go ahead and remind you that your quarterback is a god. Hell, at this point, he may have ascended beyond deity status. He might very well be approaching the realm of Lindsey Buckingham at this point. Next time you feel like you need to convert a 4th and 7, might wanna think about dialing that guy up.

Meantime, I've heard that he's also pretty good at throwing the ball downfield to Meachem and Devery.

Oh, and when you're up by 14 in the second half? I mean, hey, I hear that Pierre guy is pretty good. Just sayin'. You know, what with the current state of the defense and all…

 

PS: Reggie Bush > Grandmaster Wang

Does that make me less of a dick for some reason? Because that would be pretty sweet.