At least the Saints achieved something yesterday. They finally discovered something that no amount of bacon could make better. Talk about a full-pound medium-rare double-stack hickory-grilled shitburger.
I suppose the bright side is that at least it took seven weeks this time for the Saints to suffer their first humiliating ass kicking of the season. And I suppose it’s liberating in a way to no longer have to worry about the playoffs. Unless you think there’s a chance in hell that this team is going 7-2 the rest of the way while both Tampa and Carolina go 5-4 or worse.
I find it strangely consoling to know that the players and coaches will be dining on British cuisine for the next seven days. Enjoy the jellied eels, black pudding and kidney pie, gentlemen. You’ve certainly EARN(ed) IT.
At least we know that Sean Payton is mad as hell and isn’t gonna take it anymore. EARN IT. Sean Payton don’t play that shit, someone must pay! Heads must roll. Which is why the Saints released Steve Weatherford after the game. High five! That Sean Payton is quite the problem solver, baby. I was just about sick and damn tired of all the games the Saints keep losing on the leg of their punter. I’m sure it’s gonna be all better now.
I’m sure you’ve heard all the rumors since last night as to why this move was made.
- Needed the extra seat on the plane to the UK so Kenny Chesney could come with
- Freeing up roster spot to sign Jeff George
- Refused to stop singing "You’re not the boss of me now and you’re not so big… life is unfair…" in Payton’s presence
- Money missing from Dulymus’ locker
- Consistently late to meetings, infamous wristwatch was strictly ornamental and/or to fuck with Marteen
- Extramarital affair with offensive lineman’s spouse
- "Knows too much" about what really went down at WWL with Kenny Wilkerson
None of those are true. See, what Payton and Loomis know is that the UK is a hotbed of punting talent. Bet you didn’t know that. John Cleese, Ringo Starr and Rik Mayall were all standout punters at University. Reports are that they’ve already scheduled Morrissey for a workout, and John Lydon might be in on Wednesday. There’s also this deaf, dumb and blind kid who’s been ripping it from Soho down to Brighton. Apparently he has supple wrists. Word is you’ve never seen anything like him in any amusement hall.
You think I’m kidding? These are the new-fangled Hollywood/Madison Avenue Celebrity Bullshit Saints. About three seconds after Reggie Bush jacked up his knee, there was probably a conference call between Mickey Loomis, the league office and Adidas executives making arrangements for David Beckham to punt for the Saints this week. You don’t sell the steak, man. You sell the sizzle. THE SIZZLE, MAN!
Meantime, what did we learn about the Saints yesterday? We learned the shocking truth: This team just isn’t good enough.
Oh, it’s good enough to hang around. It’s good enough to get fat off of league bottom-dwellers and occasionally jump up to bite a better team in the ass. It’s good enough to look really pretty when the circumstances are absolutely perfect on any given gameday.
But this team cannot deal with adversity. Nor can it deal with success. Bottom line: this team can’t deal.
The "Stat of the Week" on the web seems to be the Saints’ now 0-15 record under Sean Payton when trailing after 3 quarters. It really is shocking. Seriously, you mean to tell me that Drew Motherfucking Brees hasn’t led this team to a single 4th quarter comeback? Really? Wow. There’s the "can’t deal with adversity" part.
For the "can’t deal with success part" I’d like to use a stat I just now pulled out of my ass. Sean Payton’s Saints are also 2-10 in games following (what I consider to be) a "big win." By "big win" I mean either a dominating win or an "important win."
I can itemize my findings on request, but if you’ve got a few minutes to kill, have a look at the Saints’ week by week results since 2006 at NFL dot com or ProFootballReference dot com or the web site of your choice and see if you don’t draw a similar conclusion.
Put them together and what you do you get?
Soft.
When the going gets tough, this team lays down. When everything’s great, they eat the cheese.
The thing that makes me want to shove an icepick up my nose is that this loss didn’t have to be this bad. Every team gets their asses handed to them every now and then. It happens. It could be shrugged off and left behind if the Saints hadn’t pissed away three of their previous six games.
And if there are enough chumps left on the schedule for the Saints to narrowly miss the playoffs (again) it won’t be this loss that will have done us in. It will have been Denver. Or Minnesota. Or Washington.
One of the ones that never should have happened. One of the preventable ones.
Or one of the preventable ones yet to come.
But hey, at least we don’t have to worry about Steve Weatherford’s watch anymore. Sean Payton will not stand for such tomfoolery. And God help the Chargers if Payton drops a heaping helping of Buck Ortega, Sean Ryan or Courtney Roby on ‘em!
See, it’s all part of the Grand Plan. Or something.
I was pretty shaken up yesterday when that flashed on the screan. Brees has never mounted a 4th quarter comeback. Got me thinking. Is it because when we do enter the 4th behind we are so freaking far behind that there is little to no hope to start with?
As for blame this week. Coach P needs to step up and say ” I fucked up”. He rushed players forward who should not have been playing… they hurt us by being on the field. That and he still DOESNT FUCKING RUN DEUCE!!!!!! What was with those SHITASS calls? And why the fuck is JD still playing for this team?
We have the paper talent to be one of the best damn teams in the league and unless there actually is a curse on us I cant figure out why the fuck they cant play 2 games in a row without turning into the keystone cops out there.
Im pissed as hell at them right now but I am a Saitns fan, so next week I will be back cheering for them. Ready for them to give me that fresh kicked in the balls feeling.
I agree. We’re not that great. We’re a year away, or something… from something, not sure what though. We’re behind the curve, the 8-ball, and the fucking Falcons. I, for one, am over it.
I’m going to enjoy the rest of the season. Instead of getting nervous before games and bent out of shape after games, I’m just going to laugh. It hasn’t been that long since the Saints were downright pathetic, and I still remember the drill.
Sundays in the Dome are fun, even when we are losing, so I’m not renouncing my fandom or my season tickets, but I’m certainly going to worry less and drink more. Who Dat???
Once again,
Peace out bitches.
It didn’t have to be this bad….but Carolina played the perfect kind of Carolina game, and we were suckers for it.
Anybody else notice that DMFB has trouble with his deep ball outdoors? Or when he’s been rattled? I’d call missing Third Down Devery Henderson with three TD passes “trouble”; even the one that was caught was underthrown, and Brees had room to step up and didn’t.
This is a coulda/woulda statement, but I don’t care. I gotta say it.
If Jeremy Suckey hadn’t fumbled, and the Saints go on to score a TD on that drive, it’s 14-3, and it’s a whole other ball game.
Overall, this is among your better posts. Cutting the punter is bizarre. That average punter is the same guy who saved us in the Eagles playoff game with a heads-up run to get a first down when a blocked punt should’ve happened.
We are indeed soft. We are soft because we are smarter than you are, and I know because Coach Payton read me that off of his Shoney’s menu. We don’t come from behind because Coach uses times that we are behind to use his Unique Brand of Offensive Genius (TM).
Which turns out not to work.
Instead of being who we are–Deuce and Drew’s team–Coach turns us into Sean and Reggie’s team. Drew is merely is a means to and end to exhibiting Coach’s and Mr. Kardashian’s genius.
Despite my misgivings, I am more sanguine that you, O Great Wang, about the season’s prospects. As you have pointed out, never underestimate the lousiness of our fellow teams. Not only might Tampa and Caroline BOTH go 5-4, they might not get 8 wins between the two of them.
It’s early.
Don’t forget the Steve Walsh-led playoff run during the Mora years. Now THAT was a team worth despairing about, and look what they did? Went to the playoffs and got embarrassed in the cold by the Ditka Bears, who were at least as bad.
Oh. Not such a good example.
This team can all go to hell
Good stuff all around fellas.
Clio, God knows I hope you’re right about the lousiness of our division opponents. But that’s only half the equation. What of the whole Saints going 7-2 part of it? One doesn’t mean jack without the other.
I agree 100% that Sean Payton has his faults, big ones, but IMHO the playcalling faults are the least significant. They exist, but they’re not the achilles heel.
At this point, my biggest concern with Payton is the management angle. Being a leader of men. Problem-solving. Selecting competent people and delegating. Big-picture thinking. I’m lukewarm on Payton re: these issues right now, but trending colder.
There’s too much of a “scrambling” vibe with this team, and that’s been the case since week 1 last year when Tyler Palko was released to carry 5 tight ends and Fred Thomas, who was immediately made inactive.
I wish I could agree with your “It’s early” sentiment, but I can’t. Washington was early. Denver was early. This weekend is halftime. IMHO, early ended in a 30-7 ass kicking.
And I don’t subscribe to the “there’s just been too many injuries this year” point of view either. If that were true, the Saints wouldn’t have had to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory 3 times in the first 5 games. And Colston and Shockey would have actually helped Sunday. The injuries certainly haven’t helped, but they haven’t sunk this team either.
Marteen sunk them. Twice. And that, IMHO, is squarely on Payton for having made a monumentally bad roster decision in the first place.
I also know that none of this is Brooks’ fault.
Nor was it Weatherford’s. And I agree with you that the Weatherford situation, when piled on top of all the other roster craziness, is legit cause for concern. Lots and lots of concern.
In the meantime, we need a new Bandwagon Chick.
NEVER!!!
Muahahahaha!
I don’t think we’re far apart. I don’t mind the plays Coach calls as much as the “I’m smart. I can think our way through this” approach.
As opposed to the: let me delegate some kicks in the nuts to large men like Deuce.
That’s “leader of men” stuff I can believe in.
The most depressing thought I’ve had this week is when I realized that our record now equals our record at this point last year. That’s the first time we can say that. Sad, ain’t it?
Just as sad is the fact that, even if we somehow pull a victory out of our collectively still-gaping assholes this weeked, we’ll still have exactly the same record as last year.
I can never say I’m truly apathetic with this team, because I don’t really think it’s in me to absolutely not care. However I’d be lying if I said I put the same emotion into the games now as I did a few weeks ago. It just feels like it’s getting worse, and nobody in a position to fix anything knows what the fuck to do.
Hallmarks of a Sean Poohton loss. Whenever you see two or more of these, you can be guaranteed we are losing. Might as well start watching Murder She Wrote.
1) During a momentum building drive a critical penalty or costly turnover causes the team to go into a tailspin for at least 2 quarters. When our offense becomes anemic.
2) Unwarranted and moronic use of the challenge flag.
3) Bad personnel decisions
4) Risky play calling at inopportune times
5) Routine second and short and third and shorts when the running game is never used.
6) Injury
7) Announcers must utter something along the lines of “The Saints are 8-0 when they dont turn the ball over/let the opponent score an opening drive/wear all black” which then sets all of the above into motion.
The Saints are just like my (former) students; the ones who have that glimmer of greatness, who have a 97 average all semester, but don’t turn in the final project, because, hey, a “C” is still a passing grade.
Dipsticks.
Coherent replies and conclusions still I can not make four days removed from gameday.