Wow, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear this is going to be the third consecutive day that I’ve made a post. That’s gotta be some kind of record.

Gotta love this annual two-week orgy of non-productivity. It really helps to free up big blocks of time to indulge in meaningless, internet-based jackassery. Outstanding.

Oh sure, I could spread them out a little to milk it. Rapid-fire posting can take its toll on the ole comment tallies. Pete Finney has been ringing my phone off the damn hook and leaving message after message about how disappointed he is that I’m not pacing myself. Not taking full advantage of the sweet, sweet white space. "You’ll never survive in the ‘legitimate’ media with that kind of attitude!" he says. I asked him "What makes you think a guy who calls himself Grandmaster Wang has ‘legitimate’ media ambitions?"

Which reminds me, I’m thinking about changing my name to "Uncle Benzene" for 2008. It can be some kind of moosedenied New Year tradition. Or something. Hey Pete, you think I’ve got enough preliminary babble there? Is it alright if I go ahead and get on with it now? Alright, here we go…

As we noted in part 1, the ground rules are that we are going to assume the following things to be true:

• That the current Saints management is competent, and that at this point there’s no reason to believe that any wholesale changes to the front office or coaching staff are required. If you can’t get on board with that, then you might as well ball yourself up on the floor in a fetal position and skip the next couple seasons minimum. Because…
  • It ain’t gonna happen
  • Nor should it
• That the Saints are right square in the middle of a "window of contention" here. The future is now. The Saints aren’t rebuilding, they’re trying to win a championship. Planning for 2012 is a non-starter.

Tight End
Seems that the popular sentiment on message boards right about now is that Eric Johnson has been a disappointment, and that the Saints should look elsewhere rather than re-signing him. I think that’s crazy talk.

Last year, five Saints tight ends combined for 45 receptions, 411 yards, 1 touchdown, 4 plays of 20+ yards and 21 first downs.

This year, Eric Johnson alone has accounted for 44 receptions, 353 yards, 2 touchdowns, 2 plays of 20+ yards and 19 first downs.

Pair him with Billy Miller, who has been a lot more productive this year than last, and he and Johnson combine for 68 receptions, 655 yards, 4 touchdowns, 6 plays of 20+ and 36 first downs. And there’s still a game left for Miller to add to those numbers.

Johnson is 24th in the NFL in receiving yards by TEs. His stats are right there in the same ballpark with Alge Crumpler, Chicago’s Greg Olsen (who many message board GMs wanted the Saints to select in the first round last year) and New England’s Ben Watson. Johnson and Miller combined are probably less expensive than any of those guys.

Johnson’s and Miller’s combined stats are right there with the likes of Jeremy Shockey, Indy’s Dallas Clark (who many message board GMs want the Saints to dump a barrel full of million dollar bills upon this offseason) and Pittsburgh’s Heath Miller. Again, Johnson and Miller combined are probably cheaper than any one of those guys. And if one half of your tandem goes down, you’re not completely screwed like you would be if all your eggs were in one "superstar" TE’s basket.

Oddly enough, the last time the Saints had a TE who produced more yards than Johnson or Miller individually was in 2005. Guy by the name of Zachary Hilton, who message board scouts also didn’t seem to think was "good enough." The last time the Saints had production from the TE spot that exceeded the Johnson/Miller tandem was back in 2003, "The Year Of EddieBoo"

Bottom line: The Saints need to re-sign both Johnson and Miller and roll with that for a while. Washington’s Chris Cooley is the most appealing free agent option… actually, he’s the only appealing free agent option as far as I’m concerned. But unless you want to go into 2008 with Ronnie Ghent as your primary backup TE (and don’t even get me started on Ronnie Ghent… what’s that all about?) you’re going to spend more resources in terms of cap dollars and/or draft picks, both of which would be better spent on defense, going that route than you would by just re-signing Johnson and Miller.

If the Saints determine that they absolutely, positively have to have new blood at that position, then I could certainly get behind signing one of Johnson/Miller/Cooley and drafting Kentucky’s Jacob Tamme in the third or fourth. I certainly don’t think the position warrants investing in a first or second rounder like USC’s Fred Davis or Missourah’s Martin Rucker. (I’ll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah anyway.)

Problem with that is that if you wait until the draft, the two you don’t sign will have already signed elsewhere, and you might get scooped out of Tamme. Or, even worse, you might have to commit the single most damnable, unforgivable draft sin of them all… you might have to *gasp* "REACH!!!!!" and scoop the guy a few slots ahead of where the message board draft experts have him slotted.

Which is more appealing? Re-signing a couple of serviceable TEs who have given you the best production you’ve had in years? Or risk having your eternal soul damned to message board hell for selecting a guy "too soon?" Exactly. Bring back Johnson and Miller.

Wideouts
Marques Colston is the Drew Brees of guys who don’t have birthmarks on their faces. This guy eats defensive backs for breakfast. Receptions: last year tied for 18th, this year tied for 7th. Yards: last year 19th, this year, 9th. Touchdowns: last year 8, this year 9. First downs: last year 51, this year 59. He has more receiving yards this year than Torry Holt, TJ Houshmanzadeh, Joey Galloway, Steve Smith and a host of other "superstars." This guy… this is my kind of guy. He is a legit Top 10 NFL wideout, and the sky is the limit.

Meanwhile, did you know that David Patten is currently 31st in the NFL in receiving yards by a wideout? That’s right, 31st. Did you know that eight teams don’t have a single receiver on their roster who was more productive than Patten in 2007? With 82 receiving yards against the Bears, Patten would set a new career high in receiving yards.

That being said, Patten is a free agent, and I don’t know that you can offer him more than a one-year deal at 33 and with 12 years under his belt. Lance Moore is a restricted free agent, Terrance Copper is an unrestricted free agent, and the consensus seems to be the Saints will be parting ways with Jack Hunt as well.

Which leaves the Saints with Marques The Outfuckingstanding and…….. who, exactly? That Meechum™ guy? He of the zero receptions for zero yards, zero touchdowns, zero 20+ yard receptions and zero first downs? That guy? Seriously… that guy?

Answer: Yes. What choice do we have?

Well, there are a few options. Chicago’s Bernard Berrian could be an option in free agency. A fourth year guy who seems to be on the upswing, and has 923 receiving yards in 2007. Carolina’s Drew Carter is another fourth year guy who is also on the upswing, although statistically he’s a definite step down from Berrian. Arizona’s Bryant Johnson is interesting.

Do the Saints dare spend a first day pick on a wideout? A year into The Robbie Meechum™ Experience? Yikes.

Bottom line: …is that we really don’t know much of anything about what we’ve got beyond Marques The Beast. Oddly enough, the situation is pretty much identical to last year. Patten is pretty much Joe Horn, plus additional production and minus the asshole-related baggage. We know nothing of Meachem. We know that Jack Hunt is one hell of a dangerous weapon that you just can’t wield. You have no idea when it’s gonna hit its mark and when it’s gonna backfire. We also seem to know that he’s not exactly the most ambitious guy in the world. He might very well be the guy who will turn down a few million for the comfort of being a 4th or 5th wideout close to home with a coaching staff who accepts him for what he is and won’t put too much pressure on him as long as he’s cheap.

There’s also the Drew Brees factor, which dictates that any wideout will provide an increase in production as a Saint which is inversely proportional to the relative crappiness of the starting quarterback who used to throw to him. (Devery is the exception which proves the rule.)

Get all that? What it means is that if you sign a wideout in free agency, sign him from the Bears or Pants.

But my guess is that Patten, Copper and Devery will all be re-signed to cap-friendly short-term deals, and will all be back. If memory serves, Copper already spurned a restricted free agent offer sheet last year from the Titans, opting instead to stick with Coach Payton and Coach Johnson. Patten has enjoyed personal success as a Saint on par with any he’s ever enjoyed (with the exception of the Super Bowl bling, of course.) He’s been around enough to know that the grass isn’t always greener, and it’s not like he’s gonna get a fat offer in free agency.

Devery might very well no longer be welcome here, but for some reason I don’t think so. I guess it might all depend on what the real story is with Meachem. But I could certainly see Mickey Loomis asking Coach Payton what he thinks about bringing Devery back, and Payton’s reply being "Meh, whatever. Fine." And then Loomis goes to Devery and gives him a lowball offer, and Devery says "Meh, whatever. Fine." And everybody lives inconsistently ever after.

I imagine Lance Moore will receive the minimum restricted free agency tender, will accept it, and it’ll all depend on whether or not the Saints find themselves an acceptable kick returner in the draft.

Do the Saints spend another first day draft pick on a wideout? I hope not. On message boards, there seems to be a lot of preliminary support for Purdue’s Dorien Bryant. I wouldn’t necessarily mind that, but if they’re looking around in that first-day ballpark, I’d prefer Cal’s Lavelle Hawkins. But what would be best is that the Saints don’t even think about the offense until day two, find their return guy in the form of a day-one defensive back, and get themselves another big wideout with a far less valuable pick. Somebody like Arkansas’ 6′ 6" Marcus Monk or Nebraska’s 6′ 4" Maurice Purify.

I know I promised o-line in part 2, but screw you. Ha!

Actually, Finney just left me another fuckin’ voice mail telling me to stop right this minute or he was gonna pull his implied endorsement of this here blog. And Finney’s implied endorsement is money in the bank, so what choice do I have? This is Finney’s world, I’m just blogging in it. So the o-line will have to wait.

Meantime, I probably should have mentioned yesterday that I am in fact accepting suggestions for creative profanities to use when we finally get around the the defensive side of the ball.