REG-GIE! REG-GIE! REG-GIE!Tweetness, Tweetness I was only joking when I said…

As always, clearly this is everyone's fault but Reggie's. For fuck's sake, people, can't you quit hatin' long enough to get a sense of humor?!? Maybe then you'd "get" the "joke." He's just playin', y'all! Damn. If anything, we should pity him for being so misunderstood. See, this is why I hate Twitter. It's Twitter's fault for making people look like dumbasses. It's all part of their evil plan. I wouldn't be surprised if Mickey Loomis hacked Reggie's account and posted that to turn Saints fans against him. Or something. All I know is it ain't Reggie's fault.

Serious question: Really, at what point are you finally gonna wake up one morning and suddenly find yourself sick and tired of making excuse after excuse for this asshole? I mean, it's gotta happen sooner or later, doesn't it? Seriously, what's it gonna take?

Some 40 Saints players are currently gathered at Tulane for something that's supposed to resemble OTAs. They're there of their own accord. Some of them are rookies. Some of them are veterans who aren't under contract. Some of them are still rehabbing from injuries. None of them are getting paid. Most of the expenses are coming out of Drew Brees's pocket. And whatever expenses Drew's not picking up are coming out of their own pockets.

None of them are required to be there, and neither is Tweetness. He's not the only one who's not there, and he's certainly not the only person (player or otherwise) who is of the opinion that OTAs are overrated at best, and all but completely unnecessary at worst. It's not unreasonable that Reggie's not exactly the most gruntled of employees right now. I don't blame him for that.

Hell, I'm not even the least bit upset about it. To the contrary, I love it. Keep spouting off, Reg. It's quite helpful. Could I trouble you to tweet something about Drew Brees being a douchebag? Maybe a Katrina joke or 3? Come on, Reg. Let's kick this thing up a notch. You're gonna have to do a lot better than this to shake off your few remaining apologists.

"Oh quit being a dick, Wang. The guy's just enjoying his offseason. I'm sure you'd rather be fucking supermodels than working too. You said yourself that he's not required to be there, and that he's not the only one who's not there. It's his choice, quit holding it against him that he made a choice you don't like."

Fair enough. But his not being there isn't the point. I'm fine with his not being there. Hell, he can stay in California for the rest of his life as far as I'm concerned. That's not what this is about.

What this is about is the highest paid player on the Saints' roster repeatedly and publicly stating what amounts to "Meh, fuck it."

Reggie's been on goddamn "vacation" for the last four months. Ever since January 8 when the Saints were attempting to defend their championship (high five!) and were depending on Reggie more than at any other time in his career, and he failed to come through. Again. "Meh, fuck it."

Draft a tailback in the first? "Meh, fuck it."

Pretty much the whole damn team gathers at Tulane on their own (and Drew's) dime for the sake of getting a leg up on the rest of the league in an effort to win another championship? "Meh, fuck it."

What's it gonna take before the rest of us finally come to grips with the fact that Reggie just doesn't give a shit?

Forget the Gale Sayers comparisons of 5 years ago. Forget the more recent Eric Metcalf comparisons. At this point, he's The Situation. 90% Celebrity, 10% Other, 100% Douchebag.

He's Paris Hilton. He's Kim Kardashian. He's a Real Tailback of Beverly Hills. The world is his own personal fucking reality tee vee show. He's rich, he's famous, he's pretty, and it's 21st Century America.

"Who does this guy think he is?"
"I'm Keith Hernandez."

Unfortunately for us, I'm pretty sure that neither MTV Networks nor Bravo have draft picks to offer. And even if they did, at this point, I'm sure they'd just as soon wait for the Saints to release him and take their chances on the open market. After all, there's a decent chance he'd suck at that too. Buyer beware and all.

On the other hand, being a celebrity is clearly Reggie's True Passion. He's probably still got enough sycophants and hangers-on to draw an acceptable rating. And he's obviously mastered the art of drawing attention to himself via Social Media. 1.6 million Twitter followers, baby! Which kinda makes him the poor man's Snooki. Or something. Beat THAT, chick with 8 kids!

Word to the wise, tee vee execs: Take a page out of Pete's book and pay him under the table. That seems to bring out the best in him. I mean, eventually you might have to forfeit that Emmy, but it's all part of the cost of doing bidness, you know?

All I ask (beg!) is that you get him the fuck out of my face.

I'm quite confident that at this point Mickey Loomis is all too eager to hook me up on that. The shame of it all is that he's not in a position to right about now. Worse yet, when the time comes, you just know that Mickey's gonna take the high road and be all professional about it.

Which sucks, because somebody who's in a position to really needs to step up and tell Reggie to go fuck himself. Publicly.

Paging all rookies. Wanna get in good with the vets and the coaches? Come on, Johnny Patrick! Nate Bussey? Make a name for yourself. You'll be all over Sportscenter!

Do it!

Somebody has to.

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