Oh it’s on now, bitches. After one day of training camp, I think it’s safe to go ahead and start thinking about 50 points per game and an average margin of victory somewhere around 38.

Okay, maybe not. I knew I shouldn’t have drank that carton of warm cream. But there’s no denying that after one day, it sure does seem like everything’s coming up Milhouse down in Jackson.

It actually kicked off a little early, as we found out Wednesday evening that Nicks signed, Colston got paid, and only one guy failed to make weight. And it WASN’T Hollis! Hard to imagine how the vibe could have been any more positive going in. Sure, Ellis and Porter could have been signed and in camp, but even that didn’t seem to be too big a deal. What ordinarily would have the braying masses shitting bricks was all but drowned out by the flood of excitement and optimism.

It continued yesterday. Apparently Dulymus is trimmer than he’s been in a long time, and his knees appear to be functional. Vilma’s knees are also functional, and it took him all of one practice session to insert himself into the starting defensive unit. Shockey’s leg seems fine, and reports are that you’d swear he and Drew have been working together for years. Meachem and Arrington were making plays. In Ellis’ absence, TheMario turned a few heads. It goes on and on. But we’ve all seen the numerous glowing reports from yesterday, so let’s not bore the shit out of ourselves by recapping further.

The negatives? Well, the Jeremetrius Butler Era has finally come to an end. But at least we’ll always carry the memories of all the great times we had with him and Dan Morgan. Ellis and Porter still aren’t signed, but there are reports that it’s getting close with Porter. And word this morning is that the Chiefs have broken off negotiations with Glenn Dorsey. Hopefully this will compel Ellis’ agent to get off his lazy ass and stop waiting for Dorsey’s agent to do his job for him. McKenzie is still on PUP, but reports are that he’s participating somewhat and has a spring in his step. Eric Johnson and Josh Bullocks are still on PUP, but nobody really gives a shit.

Stunning lack of douchebaggery from Shockey on his first day. Oh come on, admit it. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were expecting him to start blowing shit up right off the bat, weren’t you? Nope. So far, he’s saying all the right things. He’s taking the high road with his former team, he’s being humble about his current status on the roster, and he seems genuinely grateful to be here. Then again, he’s in Jackson. It’s gonna be on like Donkey Kong once he gets himself a big old taste of Kennabra. I’m sure the Bastard Son of Fourcade can’t wait.

Speaking of which, I have to apologize to our new friend Ralph for punking out of his latest podcast last night. Ralph and I traded a few emails yesterday, and he responded to our unprovoked sucker punch just as we figured he would. He was tremendously cool about it, and even invited me on the show to spar a little bit over a beer or six. In my defense, I told him right upfront that I’m an old man (I’m 35, for crying out loud) who tends to get the ball rolling on the drinkydrinky as soon as physically possible, and 9:30pm Eastern is pretty late for me on a school night. But he plugged my possible cameo anyway, which was very cool of him to do, and I feel like a huge asshole for falling asleep on the couch last night. Especially since I just listened to it, and it was a damn fine broadcast. Would have been fun to have been involved, and I’ll make it a point to join in one of these days. I’d say next time, but they’ve already booked Nola Chick and that sexy voice of hers for next week. No way am I gonna take time away from that. Meantime, go have a listen to Ralph and Mr. Held Over here. It’s good stuff.

Things are starting to pop again all over the blogosphere, in fact. Berto is back with a vengeance. Midseason form, baby. Midseason form. Chef’s getting back in the groove, drumming up some mojo by organizing a Cannonball-Run-esque race for what promises to be the world’s most luxurious follicular adornment. Michelle is back from sabbatical. And the boys over at Something Else! are putting together the soundtrack to the season.

So strap in and get ready to roll, bitches. This is going to be a whole lot of fun. moosedenied was able to get WWL’s Bobby Hebert on the phone, and here’s what he had to say about a variety of day 1 topics:

moosedenied: Thanks for the time, Bobby.

Hebert: No, you know, let me tell you something Wang. When you’re talking about me taking a few minutes to talk to you guys over there at your blog, see, it’s something I’m happy to do, because we’re all Who Dats you know? And I mean, when you’re talking about Who Dats, we got to stick together, you follow me?

moosedenied: I certainly do. So let’s talk about one of your favorite guys, Pierre Thomas. How’s he looking?

Hebert: No, see, let me tell you about Pierre Thomas. When you’re talking about a guy like Pierre Thomas, I mean, this is a guy who, it’s like you look at him, and you want to talk about a guy who can play. This is a guy who can play. This guy, I mean, he’s not a guy who’s the best athlete you’re ever gonna see, but the guy, let me tell you, no, this guy can play and he puts it all out on the field and he’s hungry. You can tell this guy, you want to talk about a guy who’s hungry, this guy is a capable guy to have in the backfield and also with Deuce and Reggie Bush, this guy, I’m telling you, this guy…

moosedenied: So you think he’s going to…

Hebert: No, man let me tell you, I’m telling you this guy has a lot of talent. He might not be the most talented guy, but when you talk about guys with talent, this is definitely one of those guys, Pierre, who…

moosedenied: That’s great to hear, Bobby. What do you think about what you’ve seen from Meach…

Hebert: Meachem, no, I think, see, when you’re talking about a guy like Meachem, this is a guy who has a long way to go, but you can tell that he’s doing everything he can to get there. And he’s got talent, you know, if you want to talk about a guy who was a first round pick and he sat the bench all last year, see, Meachem is a guy like that. But no, Meachem is a guy, this guy has come a long way and he’s out there doing what he’s gotta do.

moosedenied: And what about…

Hebert: No, see, let me tell you, here’s the thing about Deuce. I don’t agree, Deuce is a guy who, you want to talk about a guy who has had surgery on both of his knees, but this guy, no, I’m telling you Deuce is coming back baby.

moosedenied: So you think that…

Hebert: No, let me tell you what I think about that, see, I don’t agree with that either. You gotta realize, see, no, what I’m trying to tell you is that Shockey, see, when you’re talking about a guy like Shockey, this is a guy who has been playing at a high level for a long time whether it’s been, if you want to talk about the Giants, or anywhere else. No, this guy is a quality tight end and I think all the distractions, see, yeah, some of that is some kind of stuff you want to talk about a guy bringing it on himself, yeah, there’s some of that no doubt. But then you think about, no, it might not be all his fault, because you’ve got to think about the other things with being in New York and with Eli Manning, no, Eli Manning and Drew Brees, see, they’re not the same guy. And Sean Payton, he’s not the same guy either.

moosedenied: Alright, then I guess…

Hebert: Hey, no, let me tell you, it’s no problem brah. Who Dat!