Oh, who am I kidding over here? Of course you are. LOOMIS!!!

Just in case you haven't given it a whole lot of thought yet, prepare to be incredibly annoyed. Because this one's gonna be worse than most. Maybe a lot worse. There's probably not gonna be a whole lot to get really excited about. And there's likely to be at least a handful of situations that lend themselves to sending Message Board Guy off the deep end, into protracted fits of OUTRAGE(!!!) over what are clearly portents of impending DOOOM!!! Even moreso than usual, that is. Good times. Or something.

I mean, you're ready for a considerable subset of our own fanbase to go all Pete Prisco with it and start framing Drew Brees as some kind of selfish asshole, right? Because that's coming.

You're prepared for Carl Nicks to get the LeCharles Bentley treatment, right? What with the "Who does this guy think he is?" and the "Dude's way overrated, he was benched in training camp last year for crying out loud!" and whatnot. Because that's coming too.

All set for the "Colston is just a product of the system, and if he'd rather go 4-12 and catch about 30 balls a year from Blaine Gabbert or Tim Tebow for the rest of his career, all over a few mildo, then to hell with him!" right? Oh, it's coming.

I mean, "How much money do these guys need?!?" anyway? "Don't they know that teachers and firefighters and…" And these guys get millions to "play a kid's game" for a living. It's AN OUTRAGE! (Yeah, ask Dave Thomas's skull or Dulymus's knees how much of a "kid's game" NFL football is.)

It happens every offseason, but not often (if ever, for us) does it happen with three players of Brees's, Nicks's and Colston's stature and importance to the team. For the most part, fans don't handle matters of "the business of football" with anything resembling aplomb anyway, to say the least. Or at least not when it comes to departures, potential departures and contract negotiations that don't go blank-check smoothly. That it's three of the most high-profile and productive players on the team, all in one offseason, is only going to ramp the typical impatience and worry up to full-blown panic. And you know how sports fans respond to panic. They get angry, and start slinging blame around.

Oh, you think Drew is immune? Just wait for it. It's coming. Peyton Manning is the only guy in the league who can get away with a long, drawn-out negotiating process which results in the richest contract in league history, and still manage to have people throwing bouquets at his feet and talking about what a great guy he is for not taking more. If there were another guy who could pull that off, Drew's probably the guy who has enough of that Madison Avenue "aw, shucks" factor to have a puncher's chance at it. But Manning is in a class by himself as far as that goes. Drew's Teflon™ coating is gonna be tested like never before.

And heaven help him (and Mickey Loomis) if it drags out into the summer. Sure, everybody knows it's gonna get done, and right now everybody's pretty much on the blank-check bandwagon. Worth every penny, and then some, right? Yeah, that's what they say now. But wait until Colston and Nicks become free agents, and the perception becomes that Loomis can't sign 'em and can't tag 'em because Drew's stubborn refusal to take whatever offer is on the table is handcuffing Loomis and holding everything up. "I thought Drew was the ultimate team guy! Guess we're seeing his true colors now that his GREED(!!!) is HURTING THE TEAM(!!!) He's no different than the rest of these assholes, it's all about the money!" Oh, you know damn well it's coming.

Just wait until the rumors start flying. Wait until Jason Cole and Mike Florio and Pete Prisco really start sinking their teeth in. Wait until people start "reading between the lines." Please keep any sharp objects well away from your eyes, lest you be tempted. Hell, better be safe and keep blunt objects at a safe distance as well.

Sure, we're happy for them when our heroes get paid. As long as it's Benson Football Inc who's paying 'em, that is. And as long as it's not too much.

This just in: "Market value" is always too much.

Screw the market! This is the Saints, for crying out loud! It ain't about you, it's about us! You'll leave when we decide to kick your ass out, and not a minute before. And until then, serving the machine shall be your only concern. Your worth is whatever the organization deems it to be. You will take whatever you're offered to remain part of the team, and smile about it. You're OURS, dammit, until WE decide we don't want you anymore. Meantime, how dare you even entertain the notion of voluntarily leaving paradise? What are you, some kind of asshole? It's a lot like being a member at Saintsreport. (Zing!)

That's always been the prevailing attitude among Saints fans, and it's probably the prevailing attitude among other fanbases as well. After all, we're fans. All that really matters is our own hopes and dreams for the success of our favorite football team. Stupid trivial shit like a guy earning a living for his family is way down on the list of priorities. After all, we're pretty sure he's just gonna end up using it to buy acres of Italian sportscars to park outside his solid gold house which features a full wing to store his collection of assault rifles anyway, right?

But it's especially true now that we've been fully sold on the notion that these days the Saints are a first-class organization that's the envy of the league. A "destination spot." A bona fide "dynasty" in terms of, if not annual championships (yet) at least an uncommonly consistent high level of competence. I mean, who wouldn't want to come here these days, let alone wanting to leave when he's already here? Right?

I'm not saying that assessment isn't true, I'm just saying it's not nearly as important a factor as we fans like to think it is. Especially Saints fans, who are kinda new to this whole situation in the first place. We haven't been here long enough to have fully figured out that it's still just a gig. We're the fans, not them. They're the workforce. Being a Saint doesn't just magically become some kind of higher calling, a mission in life, just because the Saints are good. Don't take my word for it, just ask any number of former Patriots, Steelers, Cowboys and 49ers who walked away from those organizations on their own terms, for their own reasons, even as those organizations were hiring full-time staffs to polish their Lombardi Trophies. (Plural.)

Not that that particular truth stands a chance in hell of keeping Message Board Guy's head from exploding, should Nicks or Colston end up walking. And at that point, while my money's on the departing player taking the bulk of the inevitable heat from fans for "chasing the money" and failing to prioritize us fans' desires above all, the truth is that you never really know how the chips are gonna fall in those kinds of situations. If Drew's still "holding out" it could be his fault. If he's already signed, it could still be his fault, depending on how much money that "coulda" gone elsewhere ended up in his pocket instead. (Hey, "worth every penny" right?) And, as always, it could end up being Loomis's fault. Either for "overpaying" Drew, or for stubbornly "playing hardball" with Drew and neglecting other matters. Hell, it could be all the above. Never know who's gonna catch the brunt of Message Board Guy's wrath on a given day. All you can really be sure of is that it's never necessary that it actually make sense. But there will be a villain.

Hell, let's all put on our black & gold glasses for a second and go all best case scenario with it. After all, Mike Triplett and James Varney have already started hard-selling us on the notion that Loomis has been all over this thing for at least a couple years now, and they're pretty sure #hegotthis. Lest we forget, he's a goddamn Cap WIZARD! Dude can conjure bacon out of thin air, for crying out loud! Surely he's already figured out a way to sign all three, while still having a couple of burlap sacks with dollar signs on 'em left over for a couple of relatively crappy free agent linebackers. High five!

Hey, far be it from me to put it (or just about anything else) past him. But assuming the best case scenario actually come to pass and Loomis locks all three of them up long-term, how many nanoseconds do you think it'll be before somebody's saying "Well, that's all fine and good, but that's just treading water!"

All together now… "In this league, if you're not getting better, you're getting worse!" (We're not really sure how it works in other leagues, but in this league… )

Come on, you know how this goes… "Typical Saints, putting all their eggs in one basket. Offense. Of course. Now where in the hell are we supposed to find the money for Mario Williams, Manny Lawson, Curtis Lofton and Calais Campbell?!? LOOMIS!!!"

Oh sure, for the time being, most of us have ourselves pretty much convinced that Steve Spagnuolo is the world's foremost authority on how to… uh… make chicken salad, if you dig. But that's not gonna last. That notion is gonna vanish in a puff of smoke the moment we all realize that a trip to Whole Foods isn't exactly in the budget, and we're gonna have to make do with the pickle relish and mayo already in the pantry, rather than cornichons and roasted garlic aioli. Might be able to afford a quick run to Winn-Dixie, but I'm pretty sure they don't stock any organic, free-range chickens there. Hope individually quick-frozen pieces "enhanced" with up to 10% of a brine solution works for ya.

Hell, we don't even have a first round draft pick, for crying out loud. And how fluid can a kid's hips be if he falls all the way to 59 overall? Shit! A kid like that probably isn't even strong at the point of attack! If the kid had quick feet and could shed blockers rather than getting lost in the wash, the kid would grade out in the first round! But noooo. The kid probably won't even have intangibles! I'd wager the kid will probably have character issues too. And stiff hips. Kid's stock will be dropping due to the kid's being a tweener who plays either too high or too low (or both) and the kid's overall game being projected to not translate well at the next level (and by next level, I mean this league.) Damn you Mike Mayock.

Anyway, yeah, thanks a lot for "mortgaging the future" to trade back into the first round last year, only to "waste" it all on a tailback "we didn't need" and who "only" led the team in rushing as a rookie for the first half of last season. Assholes! Hell, Joique Bell could have done that. And don't even get me started on Lynell Hamilton and PJ Hill and Chris Taylor. Sure we were all pissed that you were down to Heath Evans at the end of the Seattle game, but we didn't actually want you to fix it or anything. I mean, everybody knew all along that you were gonna end up replacing Reggie with Sproles, and Pierre and Ivory were gonna magically stay healthy in 2011 for the first time ever. Right? Duh! Everybody but you, that is. That'll teach ya to fix shit. LOOMIS!!!

You know it's coming. It's just a matter of time until the newness of Spags (and the widespread euphoria it carries) wears off and Message Board Guy starts wondering why he's been touting Spags as some kind of wizard who's gonna ride in on a unicorn and CHANGE EVERYTHING! Especially since he doesn't exactly have himself any Michael Strahans, Justin Tucks, Osi Umenyioras and Mathias Kiwanukas to work with. Hell, I'm not sure he's even gonna have a Jay Alford or a Zak DeOssie.

I mean, let's be honest, what do we really even know about this guy? Sure, we've all read his résumé and about 20 different bios on him. But as far as I can tell, all we've really established is that he likes to get pressure on the quarterback with his front 4. (Well no shit, Sherlock. Doesn't everybody?) And that he can do one hell of a great job at that, when he's got three(!!!) Pro Bowl defensive ends, including at least one Hall of Famer. We've also learned that sometimes he blitzes and sometimes he doesn't. (Shocking!) He doesn't blitz nearly as often as Gregg Williams did, but nobody blitzes as much as Gregg Williams did. We've learned that he's well-respected around the league and well-liked by his players, and that's great and all, but it doesn't really mean much. Bobby Petrino notwithstanding, how often do you hear a bunch of people talking about how a coach is an incompetent boob and an insufferable asshole?

Outside of that, all the other "analysis" I've read strikes me as little more than wishful thinking. "Well of course he's gonna turn Junior Galette into Osi Umenyiora! Duh!" Not that there's anything wrong with wishful thinking. Hell, we love wishful thinking here at moosedenied. And hey, maybe there is something to the notion the guys at the T-P have been selling us on, that Spags is sitting on some kind of gold mine of defensive talent that just needs to be "coached coordinated up" and put into a better position to succeed. That there's gonna be some kind of "culture change" and suddenly this same group of guys is gonna look like a whole different group of guys. Fingers crossed, I guess. But as far as I can tell, that's about all it is.

And there's no way in hell that semi-blind "because we hope so" optimism lasts through the summer. I suspect it'll last right about up until the moment when it becomes apparent that Roman Harper and Scott Shanle are staying on the roster. At which point, the honeymoon will be over before it even really began. But hey, maybe Mickey Loomis can trade Pierre Thomas for Clay Matthews, right? High five! Hey, a good GM would be able to pull that off. A couple years ago I was able to land Demarcus Ware straight up for Robert Meachem on Madden. So it's not like this kind of thing is all that hard. Make it happen, Loomis!

The only reason it hasn't really started yet is because Message Board Guy is still trying to cobble together his list of free agents that MBG will shoot himself in the face if Loomis doesn't sign, and the "kids" haven't even checked into the combine and had their hips fitted with viscometers yet.

But just wait until you wake up March 1 and Loomis hasn't signed anybody yet, despite the fact that surely his phone was ringing off the hook all night with Pro Bowl players calling him personally to beg and plead to come to New Orleans because they're jonesin' for one of them there championship rings. Heads will explode. THIS IS ALL DREW'S FAULT! SIGN THE DAMN CONTRACT ALREADY AND QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE!!!

So strap in, bitches. The front office has their work cut out for 'em, and it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder to manage than Message Board Guy is equipped to cope with. Which is gonna make for one hell of a looooong, annoying next six months.

Think we have enough time to get a "Spagheads" movement going by September?

Now that we've gotten our little post-season pep talk out of the way, the time has come to vent. To sling around some of that sweet, sweet blame. Unfortunately, Gregg beat us to the punch and bolted before our angry mob was able to get to him and tie him down so that we could ride him out of town on a rail. Damn the luck! I'll take it though. Three years was plenty, thank you very much. Enjoy the ring, Gregg. You earned it. But I agree with you, it's time for a change. Thanks for saving Coach Payton the trouble of having to do it himself.

I'm gonna try to refrain from bashing Gregg on the way out the door. Mostly because, by golly, I still like the guy. A lot. Wouldn't trade the last three seasons for the world. I honestly believe that without Gregg Williams, we'd all still be waiting for the Saints to win a Championship. (High five!)

He was always good for a quote, a sound bite, an incredibly humorous animated gif or Photoshop job, etc. etc. etc. He was our very own little taste of Buddy Ryan, Rex Ryan, Rob Ryan, Meg Ryan, take your pick. He was bombastic, he spoke his mind and rarely spewed meaningless coachspeak at us. He was balls-out, all the time. At times he could be a bit of a goofball. In short, he was a hell of a lot of fun. And hey, that's what we're all in this for, right? The fun?

Hell, the man coined the term "No-Catching Motherfucker(s)" for crying out loud! And dropped it on us on national tee vee! If for no other reason than that, we should all carve out a permanent spot in our cold, black hearts for him.

But most of all? He wasn't Gary Gibbs.

He was clearly the best, or at least most accomplished, available DC candidate at the time, and getting him was nothing short of a coup. He helped to transform what had been an utterly anemic (damn near hopeless) defense into something we could occasionally be proud of. A little, anyway. Every now and then.

So hey, good on ya, Gregg. And best of luck. I think eventually we'll all be able to look back and honestly say that it was more good than bad. By a lot. And that qualifies as a bona fide smashing success as far as I'm concerned. We'll always have 2009.

But, yeah, three years is enough. It had become increasingly evident throughout 2011 that the whole thing had gotten pretty stale. And your résumé would seem to suggest that 3 or 4 years is about your typical shelf life in one place. I suspect you're keenly aware of that, and while we're all aware of the fact that Fisher is your boy and that's a big part of why you moved on, I'm betting that your time with the Saints having pretty much reached its expiration date was a factor as well. And kudos to you for being self-aware enough to get that.

You're a good dude, Gregg. Hopefully you'll pardon us for the enthusiasm with which we're all embracing this opportunity for change. It's just time. That's all. Now please try not to take the rest of this here post personally…

Our first order of business today is to address all this contrarian Message Board Guy bullshit about how the defense wasn't to blame for the loss at San Francisco. That the five(!!!) giveaways between the offense and special teams combined put the defense in an impossible situation. That the defense did as good a job under those circumstances as could reasonably have been expected, if not even better, and were the reason the Saints had a chance to win it in the end in the first place. After all, if not for the defense, the Saints would have been getting blown out at halftime. Right? And if not for San Francisco's 13 points off turnovers…

"TWO INTERCEPTIONS! HOW COME NOBODY EVER BLAMES DREW AND THE OFFENSE?!?!?"

Sigh. Eat a dick, Message Board Guy. Know why "nobody ever blames" Drew? Because he's been kicking historic amounts of ass for six fucking years running. Because despite everything, the offense still managed to put up 32 points on San Francisco's defense, who hadn't allowed 30+ points all season. Because despite everything, they took the lead TWICE(!!!) in the last 4 minutes. Because the offense carries this team pretty much every week, and Saturday was no different.

Because those five turnovers were rendered completely moot the second Sproles crossed the goal line giving the Saints the lead with 4:11 remaining. And then AGAIN when Jimmy Graham crossed the goal line with less than two minutes remaining.

Oh sure, you can always go back and tally up first-half points and say "Well, if not for that…" Yeah, I get it. 13 points off turnovers. Saints lost by four. Four minus thirteen… Saints win by nine if not for that… ipso facto, right? If the Saints score 7 on that first drive instead of zero, Saints win by 3. If the 4 turnovers in the first half don't happen and the Saints score on all of those possessions, the Saints might have been up 35-3 at halftime. And if the defense hadn't limited the damage from those turnovers, the Saints would have been getting blown out at halftime and the offense never gets the chance to produce those late-game heroics in the first place. 

Yeah, that's all bullshit.

Sure, I'll concede that they all count. Every one of them counts for one, no more and no less, no matter how they're posted or when. And when the clock strikes 0:00, it all comes down to a matter of simple math. The winner has more and the loser has fewer. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

But it's a gross oversimplification. We're not just talking "Scoreboard!" here. We're "analyzing." We're doing what you always tell us to do, looking beyond the lies, damn lies and statistics and WATCHING THE GAME! I just wish I had my YouTube highlights "game film" handy.

The fact is that while all points count the same, they're not all created equal. Just as a holding penalty at your own 30 ceases to matter when 10 plays later the ball is in the end zone, a 17-point deficit ceases to matter once the team erases that deficit and takes the lead. With just over 4 minutes remaining. And then AGAIN with less than 2 minutes remaining.

Message Board Guy tried to do the same thing last year when Hartley missed the field goal in overtime that failed to win the first Falcons game. "Yeah, but it never should have gotten to that point!!! If only…" But it did get to that point. And the winning kick was in the air. At that point, that's all that matters. It either goes through or it doesn't. It didn't. And while that miss didn't lose the game, at that moment, nothing else that happened earlier in the game mattered. Kick goes through, game over, Saints win.

I don't care if the Saints had fallen behind by 50 by halftime Saturday. As soon as the deficit no longer exists, it no longer exists and the offense (or whomever scored the points to secure the lead in a given game) has done its job. That is, when it's late in the game. I'm not talking about taking a 10-7 lead in the first quarter here. That should be obvious, but we're dealing with Contrarian Message Board Guy here, so I figure I probably ought to state that for the record.

But we could argue in circles about nuances like that until September if we were interested in doing that. I'm not. Moving on…

If we're gonna magically take away the 13 points the offense and special teams "gifted them" Saturday and assume everything else would have remained equal, that's still 23 points. The San Francisco offense averaged 23.8 in the regular season. So the defense theoretically "held them" to… their average. Great. Nice job, defense. The Saints offense "only" scored 32. Against a defense that averaged 14.3 points per game allowed in the regular season. Yeah. Clearly this loss is all on the offense. If only they'd have scored 40+…

That's the bigger issue, is it not? To hell with the San Francisco game. Let's go all big picture with it here. 

This offense scored 20, 21, 32 and 34 points in the team's four losses this season. Repeat: That was in their losses. The defense allowed 20, 23, 24, 27, 28 and 33 points in six of the team's wins.

And yet, how many times did you hear or read about some defensive player or another beating his chest after a win about how "We made the plays when we needed to!" as if the final score was 6-3 or something. This just in: The Saints didn't have any 6-3 games this year. The offense failed to put up 20+ exactly zero times. Zero. But try telling that to them.

We talked about this a little bit a few weeks ago. The whole "We made the plays when we needed to" mantra. It really was pretty much every week somebody was saying that after a win. And as we noted at the time, that kind of attitude is disturbing as all hell. Really? You just won 40-33 and you're strutting around like you're the fuckin' Dome Patrol?

You know what "We made the plays when we needed to" really means? It means "Most of the time, we're just good enough to hang in there until Drew Brees rides in on his white horse and puts up 40+. And we're just fine with that. Now pat us on the back." (And all too frequently, the local Legitimate Media™ was right there to do just that.)

Go back and watch those last 4 minutes, Message Board Guy. Then tell me who "made the plays when we needed to" and who didn't.

The D student manages a C- and we give him a reward, while the A+ student gets an A- and Message Board Guy wants to ground him for a month. Been that way for 6 years now.

But it's one thing when it's Message Board guy spewing that bullshit. It's a whole other thing when the players themselves are spewing the same bullshit. Huge red flag. And its gotta reflect back on Gregg. It might as well have been Gregg saying it himself, it's trademarked Gregg Williams Bluster™.

Which isn't to say it's all on Gregg. It's just mostly on Gregg.

I mean, I'm not sure how much how much blame you can put on Gregg for the fact that these No-Catching Motherfuckers couldn't catch a cold if they were standing naked in the rain. It's easy to say "coach 'em up!" But you can coach it up until the cows come home. When the ball's in the air, they're either gonna catch it or they're not. Clearly Gregg has been as frustrated by that as we've been. You can send 8 to the quarterback all day every day, and it might very well be the least of all evils, but they're either gonna get there or they're not. But if they don't, what are you supposed to do? Put Jarrett Lee in?

I'm not nearly smart enough to say with any certainty whether it's players or scheme. My best guess is that it's probably a whole lot of both. Which doesn't bode well for this defense going forward post-Gregg. Hey, who knows, maybe the next guy comes in and "pulls a Gregg" his own self. And the Saints win another Championship next season. High five! Fingers crossed, not holding my breath.

Meantime, I'm pretty sure it wasn't gonna get any better with Gregg. Because here's what I think might be the dirty little secret about Gregg:

In 2000 as the Titans' DC, his defense ranked #1 in total defense and #2 in scoring defense. That defense featured a 27 year old Randall Godfrey at middle linebacker, in his 5th year, after having "grown up" in Dallas. Their safeties, Blaine Bishop and Marcus Robinson, grew up in Houston/Tennessee, but not really under Gregg. Same with cornerback Denard Walker. Cornerback Samari Rolle and defensive end Jevon Kearse were still young, but they were beasts straight out of college.

In 2003 as head coach of the Bills, his defense ranked #2 in total defense and #5 in scoring defense. That defense featured a 28 year old London Fletcher in his prime, after having "grown up" in St. Louis. A 26 year old Antoine Winfield at cornerback, whom he inherited. A 27 year old Takeo Spikes in the prime of his career who had just escaped Cincinnati. A 33 year old Lawer Milloy at strong safety who had been prematurely discarded by New England. A couple of monster defensive tackles in Pat Williams and Sam Adams, both of whom were inherited. Oh, and some guy named Dick LeBeau as his assistant head coach. Yeah, that Dick LeBeau.

In 2004 as the Redskins' DC, his defense ranked #3 in total defense and #5 in scoring defense. Lavar Arrington, Antonio Pierce and Marcus Washington at linebacker. All inherited, all in the primes of their careers. Shawn Springs and Fred Smoot at corner. Bought and inherited, respectively. Cornelius Griffin at DT, bought in the prime of his career. And rookie free safety Sean Taylor, a ready-made beast right out of college.

See the common thread there? A shitload of really good players in the prime of their respective careers. All of them pretty much finished products, individually-wrapped, no assembly required. Just add water and throw 'em on the field.

With the exception of those three seasons, and 2009, his defenses have been fair-to-middlin' at best, and pretty fuckin' crappy at worst.

And in 2009? Two words: Darren Sharper.

Gregg fell ass-backwards into Sharper's death rattle. I don't think it's a whole lot more complicated than that. It just so happened that just as Gregg came in preaching takeaways, the ultimate ballhawk fell into his lap. Not only a finished product, but a cinch first-ballot hall of famer, and one of the catchingest motherfuckers of all time. The ultimate validation of the takeaway dogma Gregg was preaching.

Gregg also inherited Jonathan Vilma, who had been bought the previous year in the prime of his career, and had arguably his best season. But mostly it was Sharper. And to Gregg's credit, he sure as hell squeezed all he possibly could out of Sharper, Vilma, Will Smith and a bunch of other guys who played well above their heads for that one year.

But that one season was all Sharper had left. And once Sharper was done, Gregg was pretty much fucked. Because he had no idea how to manufacture more of that.

Gregg is like the "chef" whose "technique" is to buy a bunch of expensive ingredients and arrange 'em on the plate. Voila! That'll be $85.

And hey, when it all comes together, it can be well worth the $85. I'd pay twice that right this minute for another helping of 2009. But that wasn't gonna happen, because all the ingredients he had left would need to… you know… actually go in the oven.

And I don't know about you, but at this point, I'm in no mood for a $20 "tapas plate" consisting of a slice of prosciutto and four room temperature olives.

Fuckin' tapas.

So bring on the next guy, whoever he might be. Just make sure he knows how to grill a fuckin' steak. And if he wants to put a bunch of bacon on everything, well that'll be just fine too.

It sucks when you're not sure which emotion is the most appropriate for the situation, doesn't it? Take your pick, they're all applicable to some degree or another. The hard part is having to deal with all of them at once. All in a 4-minute span. You can hardly be blamed if it left you confused and irritable, and if you're still walking around in a daze some 72 hours later. Hell, I bet Pierre Thomas would come off less concussed than I would right about now.

Disappointment? Of course. Sadness? Absolutely. Murderous rage? By the shitload. "Same ole Saints" resignation? Irrational, sure, but perfectly understandable if not necessarily reasonable. Hey, we're fans. Reasonable isn't mandatory at a time like this.

Beaming pride, in spite of Saturday's outcome? You bet your ass. For me, anyway. Your mileage may vary. And if pride isn't exactly on your emotional radar right about now, I can't hardly blame ya. I just hope it comes back for you in due time. I'm confident that it will.

Meantime, memo to It's All Meaningless Without The Lombardi Guy: Quit being a douche. Get a grip. Try a little fuckin' perspective. You're a Saints fan, for crying out loud. Remember where you came from.

This just in: Making it through the playoffs is fucking hard. Don't take my word for it, just ask the 15 & 1 2 Defending Champs and their MVP Quarterback, who got their asses handed to them by the 4 seed in their own house Sunday.

Feel better yet? Yeah, didn't think so. Me neither. But we should, at least a little bit. Because it shows us that it isn't just a Saints thing. If it can happen to The Great Green Bay Packers on the Frozen Tundra of Venerable Lambeau Field, it can happen to anybody. Hell, it happened to The Great Tom Brady and the 18-0 Patriots a few years ago too. Nobody's immune. Nobody.

Which is why we here at moosedenied have long maintained that all you can reasonably "expect" from your favorite team in any given year is getting to the playoffs in the first place. Anything beyond that is ignoring the fact that crazy shit happens in the playoffs. Shit that just doesn't make any sense. Shit nobody could possibly have seen coming. Tuck Rule. A dude catching a pass with his helmet. Immaculate Reception. Blowing a 32-point lead in 28 minutes to Frank Reich. Hakim dropping the ball. And on and on like that.

We Saints fans carry a shitload of baggage, and we've earned every ounce of it. But there wasn't anything mystical or even Saints-specific about the way Saturday's game went down. They just lost, that's all. In spectacular fashion, granted. Soul-crushing fashion. Senseless, jawdropping, mindboggling fashion. Again. And it sucks something fierce, no doubt about it. But it happens. Just about every season there's one or two teams that "shoulda" won it all, but for one reason or another, didn't. Nobody's immune.

This team still has a shitload to be proud of. They still tied the franchise's all-time best regular season record. They still made the playoffs for a third straight season. They still played a playoff game at home, and won it in a romp. They still put together a 9-game win streak. They still broke about 47 franchise and league records. They still swept the Falcons (and Panthers.) They still put up six 40-burgers, including 4 in a row, and a 60-burger. They still went 9-0 at the Benz™. Not once did the Dome crowd have to witness the team lose in person. Not even once. And up until Saturday, was it not one hell of a lot of fun?

Remember where you came from. All that stuff still counts. It was hands-down the second best season in franchise history. Be a fan however you want, but to say that all of that stuff is meaningless now, just because the Saints fell short of the Ultimate Goal, is one hell of a crappy attitude.

On the other hand, that's the rub isn't it? That's why it hurts so much. Because they were so damn close. Because it was such a waste. Because this team was in fact better than the 2009 team, and they were right on the precipice of becoming greater than the 2009 team too. Because we know better than anybody how important it is not to waste the opportunity, because it can all go to shit in the blink of an eye, and before you know it you're back to 6-10.

But this year, it was all lined up. We didn't find out until Sunday that the NFC Championship Game would have been at the Benz™, and even despite Saturday, we're all pretty sure what would have happened this weekend had the Saints been able to escape The Stick, no?

And it all went up in smoke over two drives, 13 plays, 165 yards and 3 minutes, 19 seconds of game time. Just. Like. That.

There's been a lot of chatter since Saturday about whether or not this loss was worse than last year's loss at Seattle. I don't think it's a matter of "worse." I think they're two different animals.

The Seattle loss was more embarrassing. The Seahawks were a 7-9 team and were in the playoffs by default. The Saints were "supposed to" smoke them by two scores minimum. And then Marshawn happened. Assholes mocked us mercilessly, and will continue to for a long, long time. But at the same time, we all knew going into that game that last year's team probably wasn't winning a championship regardless. They were so beat up, running on fumes. So as humiliating as it was, it was relatively easy to come to terms with because the opportunity to win a championship wasn't really all that realistic.

The San Francisco loss was more heartbreaking. Because this time the opportunity to win a championship was totally realistic, especially after the Packers lost Sunday. Because the Saints took the lead — fuckin' TWICE — with 4:02 and 1:37 remaining. On the road. Against a worthy opponent, a 13-3 team, the 2 seed, a longtime nemesis. The opportunity was there to slay an awful lot of demons we Saints fans are still carrying around with us. Drew Brees had his Montana Moment. His Elway Moment. TWICE! The kind of moment where legends are made. And it was all reduced to a footnote. Trivia. If nothing else, Drew deserved better than that. As always.

Ultimately, if it has to be boiled down to a matter of which was "worse" I guess I have to go with heartbreaking over embarrassing. After all, we're Saints fans. We're used to being mocked. We're a whole lot less used to the Saints being the team that was so damn close and arguably shoulda won it all, but didn't. To me, that stings a hell of a lot more than having to continue to deal with the incessant and ridiculously lame Katrina or Baghead or Dome Team smack from the oh-so-clever peanut gallery. But I can certainly appreciate the opposite viewpoint.

Another popular topic of conversation since Sunday has been whether the Green Bay loss makes it better or worse. It's both, isn't it?

On one hand, as stated earlier, it ought to ease the pain just a bit to know that not even The Great Aaron Rodgers and the 15-1 Reigning Champs are immune to playoff heartbreak. That the Saints aren't the only team shit like this happens to in the playoffs. And unlike the Saints, the Packers genuinely got their asses kicked. At home! "At least we're not Mississippi" am I right?

But on the other hand, Green Bay's loss just increases the "what might have been" factor for the Saints. It puts an exclamation point on the "If only!" that'll be haunting us for a long time, maybe forever. (After all, most of us still aren't over the Dome Patrol never winning one, and probably never will be.) After the fact, it made the opportunity the Saints had that much bigger, and the waste of that opportunity all the more wasteful. It made the difference between "a shame" and "a damn shame."

It's a push, I guess. Both perspectives are equally valid, in my opinion.

And that's what makes all this so damn hard to wrap your mind (not to mention your heart) around, right? The dissonance is in the fact that all the emotions are appropriate, all the perspectives are valid, even though they conflict. There's no right or wrong way to approach it, it's all just a big jumbled mess of What The Fuck.

Another existential question that's been thoroughly pondered since Saturday, did Drew/Sproles/Graham's heroics late in the game make it better or worse? Would it have made it easier had the Saints not taken the lead twice in the final four minutes? Would you have preferred that the five turnovers buried the Saints for good far earlier in the game? To have avoided the greater heartbreak of having it slip away in the end after TWO legendary 4th quarter comebacks?

Our friend Kevin made the "peel the bandaid off slowly" argument on the post-mortem podcast. And while I can appreciate that point of view, I have to respectfully disagree. To me, in this context anyway, ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. Saying that you'd rather the Saints have just gotten blown out is like saying you'd rather them have gone 6-10 and missed the playoffs entirely. That trying is the first step to failing. That knowing you're not great in the first place is better than the sting of "so close, but not quite."

Love ya, Kevin, but I reject that notion. Give me a great movie with a crappy ending over a crappy movie start-to-finish any day. Those two touchdowns to take the lead were fucking glorious, the ultimate outcome be damned. If nothing else, those final four minutes gave us (me anyway) two short moments of incredibly intense joy. And it spoke volumes about our heroes' steadfast determination and ability to overcome unprecedented adversity.

These dudes never laid down. And they could have. Other teams would have. The Falcons would have. Past Saints teams would have. (And their quarterback would have been laughing about it on the sideline.) Give me this over that every time.

Small consolation? Definitely. But it's something, and it's not insignificant. Not by a long shot. You've gotta take whatever glory you can get. Those two drives will forever carry the sting of eventual defeat with them, but goddammit, at least they happened. And they were still fuckin' brilliant. They were still epic, the stuff of legend, even if we Saints fans are the only ones who'll remember how brilliant they were.

It's better to have Smelled Greatness and gotten boned anyway, than to never have Smelled Greatness at all.

Remember where you came from. Because you just might wake up one morning and find yourself right back there.

—

So there's my little post-mortem pep talk/lecture. (Sorry if it came off more the latter than the former.) I had intended to also join the masses and get into the inevitable blame game in this here post, as well as the issue of where we go from here. But we're at 2000 words already, and 3 days hence is already well beyond our self-imposed soft deadline. So we'll just leave it at this for today, and save the burial of Gregg Williams and the second pep talk/lecture about how the window isn't even close to closing and we're still right smack dab in the middle of the Golden Age of Saints football for another day. With any luck, that day will be tomorrow. Meantime, I've got some stuff to write for NoDef and some Breaking Bad to watch. Til then, go read this. And this. Then, if you don't mind, please attempt to explain to me why it is that they both seem so right on. I'll be trying to work that out my own self.

Cha-ching, bitches! One more for the Bad Guys.

The only thing missing was Chris Ivory busting a bottle upside Ndamukong Suh's head. But we'll forgive that minor omission for the sake of avoiding the suspension. Besides, the Saints displayed more than enough "lack of class" to satisfy – scoring 5 touchdowns on 5 second-half possessions before driving to Detroit's 2 and taking a knee – without having to resort to their typical "dirtyness" anyway. Am I right, Prisco?

I've gotta admit though, I was jonesin' for that 50-burger. Meh, I guess 45 points in three quarters will just have to do. For now.

I mean, it's not like they could only muster 2 points in four quarters of a playoff game or anything. Can you even imagine how embarrassing something like that would be? Think of how mercilessly they'd mock us on Twitter! Am I right, #Rodney?

So much for Atlanta's so-called "Ferrari Offense." You know what they say about a dude who drives a Ferrari, right? He can't win a playoff game to save his teeny tiny little dong. Where y'at, #MartyIce?

(I guess the silver lining for the Falcons is that nobody much gives a shit. Not their players, not their fans, damn sure not the rest of the sports world. So they've got that going for 'em.)

Fortunately for us, the Saints opted instead to go with the Benz Offense. As in, "Just a matter of time until it Benz you over."

Don't believe me, just ask Detroit. Or just about anyone else.

You've gotta tip your hat to Detroit. They were able to delay the inevitable for a half, which is more than most opponents can boast here lately. That dude from the Free Credit Report dot com ads is pretty freakin' good, and Calvin Johnson is an absolute animal. They might very well have kicked the shit out of any other team in this year's playoff field Saturday night. They damn sure would have handed the Falcons' teeny tiny little dongs to 'em.

Unfortunately for them, the second half in particular was more like an act from some kind of ass-backwards Roman tragedy, in which the Lions were fed to the Christians. IRONY!

JEDEDIAH GABRIEL COLLINS, BITCHES!

The story going in was that the Saints didn't get the Lions' best shot last time. Suh was out, Delmas was out, Fairley went out early, Detroit shot themselves in the foot on several non-consecutive occasions and Megatron was largely held in check. Jason Hanson missed two field goals, they were penalized 11 times for 107 yards, and on and on like that.

The result: a 14-point loss.

BUT… Detroit outgained the Saints, Free Credit Report dot com Guy threw for more yards than Drew did, they made Legatron punt four times, and the Lions had time of possession by more than 10 minutes. This time was gonna be different.

And they were right. This time was different. By a lot. This time Suh, Delmas and Fairley played the whole game. Stafford was on fire. Megatron set it off to the tune of 12 for 211. They were up 14-10 at the half, rather than being down 24-7. They were 4 for 4 in the red zone. The officials took it easy on 'em this time, penalizing them a downright paltry (by their standards) 7-for-64. They produced two takeaways. This time, the Saints did get Detroit's best shot.

The result: A 17-point loss.

Be sure to pour a 40 on the curb sometime today for Detroit's crushed souls. Hope they savored that halftime lead.

But hey, buck up, Detroit. It could have been worse. Far worse. But you already knew that, didn't ya?

At least you're not Atlanta. High five! You didn't drop a deuce against the 4 seed, your quarterback doesn't literally soil his pants in the middle of a game, and your best wideout isn't the single biggest douchebag in the NFL.

Might wanna do something about that creepy-ass Cro-Magnon head coach of yours though, what with all the invasion of personal space and way too much eye contact and whatnot. Just sayin'. Am I right, Michelle Tafoya? Hell, even my arm hair was standing on end. *shiver* You thought Brad Childress was creepy? This dude…

But hey, fuck Detroit. Just another victim. Onward and upward. And westward.

We're supposed to be scared about that, right? I mean, that's what they keep telling us.

After all, the Saints are A WHOLE DIFFERENT TEAM when they have to leave the house and go out into the real world, right? OH SHIT, IT'S THE ELEMENTS! Clearly we're fucked now! It goes a little something like that, right?

Yep. Clearly we're fucked. In the regular season, the Saints posted 462.8 offensive yards per game outdoors, which is a whopping 3.3 yards per game fewer than their overall season average. The defense has allowed 369.4 yards per game outdoors, which is a whole 1.0 yard per game above their overall season average. SHIT!

But to hell with yardage, that doesn't really matter anyway. Wanna see something that'll really make you shit your pants? The Saints are only averaging 25.8 points per game outdoors, which is a full 8.2 points per game below their overall season average. Worse yet, they're allowing 25.8 points per game outdoors, 4.6 points above their season average. DOUBLE SHIT!

If you're scoring at home, that's 129 points for and 129 points against in outdoor games this year. If you didn't know any better, you'd swear the Saints didn't go 3-2 outdoors this year. With one of those losses being an 8-point loss against the reigning champs in their house on Coronation Night when, as we know all too well, the visiting team NEVER wins. (You might recall though that the Saints came as close to pulling it off as any visitor ever has, the game ending with the ball in the Saints' hands on Green Bay's 2 yard line.)

It also bears mentioning that those two outdoor losses came in week 1 and week 6. Things are juuuust a bit different now than they were then, no?

But hey, by all means, curl up in a fetal position and wait for the impending DOOOOM(!!!) if that's what does it for ya, I guess.

FRANK GORE!!!! OH SHIT! Matt Forte: 49 rushing yards in week 2. 44 yards below his average. Maurice Jones-Drew (the league's leading rusher): 84 yards in week 4. Chris Johnson: 23 yards in week 14. Adrian Peterson: 60 yards in week 15. Michael Turner: 39 yards in week 16. The Saints have held opponents to fewer than 100 yards rushing in 6 of 9 games since their last loss (which, in case it's a bit hazy at this point, was back on October 30.) And Gore, as good as he is, only rushes for 75.7 yards per game in the first place. The Saints rush the ball better than San Francisco.

And Gore is all they've got on offense. The Great Alex Smith Who Has Finally Turned The Corner is sporting a passer rating of 90.7, passes for 196.5 yards per game, completes 61.3% of his passes, has thrown a whopping 17 touchdowns this season, and has been sacked 44 times (most in the league.) The Saints have already faced 5 quarterbacks with higher passer ratings than Smith, two of them twice each, and are 6-1 against them. And if you want to count Jay Cutler, Cam Newton and Matt Hasselbeck, there's another 4 wins against guys who average more passing yards per game than Smith.

Alex Smith ain't no Matthew Stafford, Michael Crabtree damn sure ain't no Megatron, and Vernon Davis is the Reggie Bush of tight ends. The Saints are 5-1 this season against Tony Gonzalez, Brandon Pettigrew and Kellen Winslow.

The 49ers are scoring 23.8 points per game, for crying out loud. The Saints offense has been held below 24 exactly 4 times this season, and they're 2-2 even in those games.

BUT THE 49ers HAVE THE BEST DEFENSE EVER! Except that both Houston's and Jacksonville's defenses are right there in the same ballpark. 2-0 against them this year, including one on the road and outdoors. And that was in weeks 3 and 4. At the risk of repeating myself, things were juuuuust a bit different back then. The Saints offense is a whole other animal these days.

Seriously. You're taking Alex Smith over Drew Brees? You're taking Vernon Davis over Jimmy Graham? You're taking Frank Gore over Pierre/Ivory/Sproles? You're taking Crabtree over Colston? You're taking any defense in the fuckin' league over this offense? You think San Francisco can put up 40?

Didn't think so.

#wegotthis Any time, any place. By a lot.

Seattle is ancient history. Everything has changed since then. Get over it already. The Saints are no longer a "finesse" team. They're the best rushing team among the remaining playoff contenders. Oh, they're also the best passing team among the remaining playoff contenders. They're also the hottest team among the remaining playoff contenders. They've got the best offense the NFL has ever seen, and nobody's got an answer for it.

Have love, will travel.

#wemaketherulespal

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Best meaningless week 17 game ever! Seriously, holy shit. That might very well have been the single most entertaining game of the Saints' 2011 regular season. Which is high praise indeed, as this team never fails to entertain. But this was more than that. It was something I'm not sure we Saints fans have ever experienced before, not even in 2009. It was a total swagfest. Just because. There was really nothing significant to lose, and realistically we all knew there probably wasn't anything significant to gain. But they went ahead and wiggled their dicks at 'em anyway. Why? Because they can. And it was glorious.

That's how you do week 17 in style. PAD THOSE STATS! PAD THOSE STATS! PAD THOSE STATS! Stay classy, New Orleans. Or something. I'm sure there will be no shortage of people who will come up with some reason why the whole exercise was stupid and pointless and counterproductive, and will surely spawn unintended consequences somehow. The good news is that those people are idiots.

Surely it's obvious that there was a purpose here. Several purposes, in fact.

The most obvious goal, of course, is the stated one. Maintaining momentum. Staying on a roll. Check.

But I think it was also about Smelling Greatness. For them, for us, and for the rest of the league.

Remember when Sean Payton told Garrett Hartley "Just hit your kick, son. Here's why, because you deserve to be here." It's about that. It's about the fact that they deserved all the records they set Sunday, and their head coach appreciates that. They earned it, and their head coach wants them to reap what they've sown. To get what they've earned, as a team and individually. That's why they run through walls for him. Because he's got their back.

He understands that while individual accomplishments and team-based records aren't as important and wins and losses, they're not insignificant either. It's all a part of Greatness. And being The Best in all those ancillary ways leads to overall Greatness in the primary, most important way.

It's also about not being scared of it. Of being Great. It's about "Sky's the limit." It's about rejecting the notion that something bad is bound to happen if you shoot for the moon. It's about not having to choose between setting a league record and winning a championship. You can have both. Hell, you can have it all.

Lots of coaches make these kinds of decisions based on fear. "What if my quarterback takes a shot to the knee while trying to set some 'unimportant' record, and then I've gotta answer for our season going up in smoke because my priorities were out of whack?" And hey, that risk is real, and it's omnipresent. If it weren't real, there wouldn't be any value in being fearless about it. It's an attitude, it's about choosing not to duck any challenge, of any kind, for any reason. It's about not waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's about seizing the day and declining no opportunity.

It's also about intimidation. It's about establishing themselves as the alpha dogs heading into the playoffs. It's about sending a message to the rest of the league: "You don't want none of this." Because they've never seen anything like it. Hell, the league has never seen anything like it. It's about embracing the role of King Shit & the Golden Boys. It's about being the team everybody's praying they'll be able to duck.

And perhaps most importantly of all, it's about staying loose. It's about #wegotthis. Is there any doubt that the Saints are the loosest team in the league heading into the playoffs? They're just having so much damn fun out there right now.

I mean, Jed Collins is attempting to go all Lance Moore with it in the end zone, for crying out loud! And I'll be damned if he didn't kinda-sorta succeed! At least if we're grading on the 250-lb white guy curve. Do you really think anybody was all that upset about Pierre's harmless little hijinks with the bow on the ball against Atlanta? Oh I'm sure Sean Payton was a little annoyed for a few minutes about the 15 yards, but I doubt it was any more than that, if even that much. The mood is just so light right now, it's smiles and high-fives and congratulations and #wegotthis all around.

I mean, sure, it's easy to be loose and have fun and be supremely confident when you're 13-3 and riding an 8-game win streak. Not so much when you're wandering aimlessly through a glorified week 17 forfeit — at home, no less — with everybody in the stadium bored out of their minds and wondering why anybody even bothered to show up. While the team goes through the motions and politely declines about 15 opportunities to make history that were easily within reach, opting instead to treat the whole thing like the fourth preseason game. That's no fun.

I think that looseness, the swag, is something that was missing last season. And I think its presence this season stands to be a huge advantage for the Saints heading into the playoffs.

If you've been paying attention to the other playoff teams, even Green Bay and New England, you don't get the same vibe. And you damn sure don't get it from Detroit, San Francisco, Atlanta and the Giants. There's a certain uneasiness below the surface. They're uncomfortable with it all. Detroit and San Francisco are first-timers. Atlanta has a bona fide monkey on their back. The Giants have been there and have won a Super Bowl, but this year it seems like they're constantly having to justify that they even belong. Even Green Bay seems a little tight. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown and all.

So I would assert that the Saints gained a hell of a lot from an ostensibly "meaningless" week 17 game that "didn't really change anything." Things that should serve them well going forward.

We've come a hell of a long way from our head coach deciding that it'd be a good idea to literally bury any and all evidence of the 2006 team's Greatness, no?

These days, they seem so at ease with it all. There's a palpable sense that they really have got it pretty much figured out at this point. It's not arrogance, just supreme confidence. They know exactly what they have to do, and there's not even a hint of a doubt that they have the ability to do it. And why shouldn't they? All recent indications are that they're right.

They have the perfect balance of experience and hunger. Whatever pressure might actually exist doesn't seem to faze the guys who were here in 2009, and the guys who weren't here in 2009 seem to be enjoying the opportunity to reach new heights, rather than being intimidated by it. Hell, even Shaun Rogers and Aubrayo Franklin have decided to go ahead and get motivated here lately.

They're as healthy as could reasonably be expected.

Offensively, they're quite simply the best the league has ever seen, and it's not even arguable. Don't believe me, just consult the record book. They have what our friend Shawn refers to as "critical mass" the likes of which no offense has ever had before. It's as unstoppable as any NFL offense has ever been. EVER.

For crying out loud, they're even kicking ass at the things they supposedly don't ordinarily do all that well. They've rushed for 150+ in each of their last 3 games. 100+ in 6 straight games. 200+ three times this season. They're 6th in the league in rushing yards and 4th in the league in yards per carry at 4.9 yards per. (!!!)

The Saints are the only offense in the league that's in the top 6 in both rushing and passing. Or in other words, no other offense is as complete, no other offense is as good at everything as the Saints offense is. Not by a long shot.

They've scored 40+ in 3 straight games, and 4 of their last 6. They haven't been held below 20 all season.

Nobody has an answer for this offense. Nobody. At this point it's gone well beyond "pick your poison." See, other offenses can claim to have a better set of wideouts, or a(n arguably) better tight end, or a(n arguably, as bullshit an argument as it might be) "better" quarterback, or a better left tackle, or a better set of tailbacks. But if you take out whatever one player or unit they claim is better, you can beat them. You can take a significant amount of juice out of their attack.

You can't do that to the Saints offense. Not as long as Drew's on the field, anyway. Take away whatever you can. There's plenty more where that came from.

Meantime, that's precisely the formula the Saints defense seems to have hit on lately. Nobody's gonna mistake this defense for anything resembling dominant. But what they can manage to do, pretty damn consistently here lately, is take away whatever an opposing offense's strongest weapon might be on a given gameday. They did it to Calvin Johnson, Chris Johnson, Adrian Peterson, #RodneyWhite and Julio Jones (to a lesser extent, but good enough) and, most recently, Cam Newton. And that's been more than good enough, every week, for quite a long time now.

Don't look now, but the Saints defense has held its last 5 opponents to 20 points or fewer, and 6 of 8 since their last loss. They've held all 8 opponents since then to 24 or fewer. This just in: That's pretty fuckin' strong. It might not look like it sometimes, but it is. They've held opponents to fewer than 100 yards rushing in 5 of the last 8. And I'll be damned if the No-catching Motherfuckers haven't produced at least one takeaway in 6 of their last 7.

Seriously, "Any given Sunday" notwithstanding, what chance does an opponent have at this point? Any opponent?

That display Sunday went a long way towards planting that seed in their minds, in our minds, and in opponents' minds. By golly, it was downright Sun Tzu.

And holy hell was it fun. 8-0 at home for the first time ever, bitches. Bless You, Boys.

Others can talk about how ultimately it won't mean shit if the Saints come up short in the playoffs. And on some hypothetical level, they're probably right.

But to hell with hypotheticals. Here in the real world, you take whatever glory you can get your hands on. Right then and right there. Anything less is a waste.

I do believe Apollo Creed said it best: Eye of the Tiger, baby. Eye of the Tiger.

#wegotthis

Memo to #RodneyWhite, #BrettGrimes, Jason Cole and Pete Prisco: We're not sorry. Got a problem with that? Go fuck yourselves. How's that work for ya, champs?

Take your nebulous, malleable, phony notion of "sportsmanship" and "respect for the game" and the righteous indignation it affords you when convenient, and shove it right up your ass. We're quite aware of the real reason you're all butthurt about it. It's because you're weak. Because it's all you've got to hang your hat on right about now.

Fortunately for us, we happen to be in a position where it's not really necessary for us to give a fuck about whether or not you approve of our methods. And we're not sorry about that either. So you'll just have pardon us as we carry on with continuing to not give a fuck about whatever moral rectitude you've pulled out of your ass this week.

Because, see, we're writing the rules these days. You don't have to like 'em. But you'd be wise to go ahead and get used to it.

Let me lay it out for you so that you can understand. This just in: Our goals trump your feelings. Every time.

We're in this thing for us. Nobody else. Definitely not you. And if our achieving those goals leaves you humiliated and outraged, that's your problem. Deal with it. Clutch your pearls if you must, but you'd be better served to grow a pair instead.

In my perfect world, rather than me typing it, Sean Payton would have said it. Or at least let Gregg Williams say it. (You know he would. Then he'd drop a crotch-chop on 'em.) You know it's what they're all thinking.

And that's the irony of it all, isn't it? Nobody's gonna say that because Sean Payton and Drew Brees are too professional, too sportsmanlike, too classy to indulge themselves and tell them (or let Gregg Williams tell them) all to eat a dick.

Fortunately for me, I'm not encumbered by such concerns. So on behalf of Sean Payton, Drew Brees, the New Orleans Saints and Saints fans everywhere, I'll say it: Eat a dick, all of you.

This is our deal. And we're gonna do whatever the fuck we want. Don't like it? Go fuck yourself.

We here at moosedenied have long advocated the Saints embracing the role of the Bad Guys. Hell, deep down we know that's how the rest of the world sees us anyway.

Oh sure, they pretended to love us for about 15 minutes in February 2010. They capitalized on the chumps-to-champs angle. They emoted as publicly as possible and tugged on as many heartstrings as they could over the Federal Flood. They said "Nawlins" over and over and over. Gumbo this and Mardi Gras that. They exploited the shit out of us and milked it for all 'Murika considered it worth.

It was all so cute and quirky and hip. A little "edgy" yet wholesome as milk. Real funky but not threatening. Made for great media. A tightly-scripted little melodrama that if you didn't know any better you might have mistaken for an HBO Original Series.

And the critics raved for some reason.

But it wasn't supposed to get renewed.

It was a nice little piece of drama that ended happily, with the triumphant protagonist holding his toddler son and everything. But that was supposed to be the end of it. "Nice. Hey, good for you. Okay, run along now." And then we were supposed to go away.

But we didn't go away. And ever since, it's been one thing after another. Ray Edwards and Visanthe Shiancoe started the whole "Saints are dirty!" meme because the Saints were too mean to their precious Brett. These days, it's something along those lines pretty much every fuckin' week. Sean Payton's and Mickey Loomis's professionalism was called into question over the scope of the Saints' post-championship celebration. We fans were mocked over reacting too strongly to Payton's domestic relocation. They mocked us after the loss to Seattle in the playoffs. (To be fair, that was well-deserved.) They called us a one-year wonder and touted Atlanta as the Next Big Thing. We were really supposed to drop off the map for good after we "lost" Reggie Bush.

And now this year, when we're not being called "dirty" on a damn weekly basis or being ridiculously accused of cheating by way of a rogue whistle on the sideline, now we're being called "classless." DREW BREES is being called classless. Drew fuckin' Brees! Classless? Really? It would piss me off if it weren't so absurd.

Seriously, an 11-year career marked by impeccable professionalism, sportsmanship and class. One of the most genuinely and universally well-liked players in the league. And all that's out the window over setting sportsmanship aside for 6 plays and two minutes, 17 seconds to secure one of the most prestigious and coveted individual records in football? Really? That's all it takes to turn a guy into a selfish asshole?

I'm not even going to legitimize the accusation by offering a defense. You've already read the same 100 or so defenses I've read anyway, and they're well-reasoned. But what happened Monday night needs no defense.

You want a defense? Alright, fine. Here's my defense: Fuck off. Get that weak shit out of here.

All year long they've gone to great pains to do everything they possibly can to diminish and marginalize and downplay one of the top 2 or 3 seasons by an NFL quarterback in league history, if not the single greatest. It's always something. If it's not yet another suggestion that Marino's accomplishment is still greater because "the league is so different now" it's yet another reminder that Tom Brady is gonna top Marino's number too and might even end up passing Drew(!!!) by the time it's all over, or yet another reminder that "Yeah, but clearly Aaron Rodgers is the MVP."

I would assert that Drew Brees might very well be the single least-celebrated All-Time Great player in league history. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to go all "No Respeck!™" with it here. It's not that they don't give Drew any respect or love, because they do. They give him plenty of that. Pete Prisco and Jason Cole notwithstanding, you never hear a "negative" word about Drew. That's not what I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is that you almost never hear any unqualified praise for the guy either. It always comes with a "Yeah, but…" Somebody or something out there is always better. Sorry Drew, sure you became the second player in league history to throw for 5000 yards, but Peyton Manning is better. Sorry Drew, sure you became the only player in league history to throw for 5000 a second time, and broke a 27-year old record for most passing yards in a single season. But by golly, Aaron Rodgers has a couple more touchdowns and a handful fewer interceptions. Better luck next time, Rodgers is better. Oh and put an asterisk on that record, by the way, because Marino's total in 1984 is still more impressive than yours in 2011. (We reserve the right to change our minds on that though if Brady passes you.) It's always something.

You can bet your ass that if it were Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers (or Peyton Manning, or Tony Romo, or Tim Tebow) duking it out for the single-season passing record, they'd be going all Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa '98 with it.

But Drew Brees isn't supposed to be in that story. He's fucking up the script.

I choose to believe that that's the real reason they chose to set sportsmanship aside for two minutes, 17 seconds and indulge in a little "classlessness." Because that was the only way Drew's achievement was gonna be properly celebrated. And if the Falcons' feelings got hurt in the process, and it offended the delicate sensibilities of a couple of douchebag blowhards in the national media, well then we'll just call that lagniappe.

If I have one (minor) complaint, it's that I wish they'd own it just a little more. I'm glad that, while Payton and Brees are being gentlemen about it, they haven't gone as far as to apologize. They shouldn't, because they don't owe anybody any apologies. But I wish they'd be just a little more defiant about it. Rather than explaining that it was because they "didn't want the record being a distraction next week" (which strikes me as a bullshit explanation anyway) I wish they'd just say "Damn right we wanted the record, so we took it. Simple as that. Don't like it, tough shit." If they're gonna make you do the time anyway, might as well do the crime.

It helps that Coach Payton made the right decision to play the starters and play to win this Sunday against Camrolina. Hell yeah, high five, Coach! And while "We're on a roll, and we don't want to risk screwing up our momentum and general mojo" is probably the correct answer and the most important consideration, it would do my heart good for Coach to say "And oh by the way, damn right we're gunning for the Rams' single-season total offense record. And we're gonna take that too. Damn right we'd prefer Drew's record to hold up for three decades as opposed to six days. Damn right we're gonna do everything we can to see to it that Jimmy Graham passes both Kellen Winslow and Rob Gronkowski. Don't like it? Don't care. We're taking this shit whether you like it or not. And you'll take it too. Right in the ass, you scumbag cocksuckers."

Selfish? Maybe. Greedy? If you insist. So what? It's not a question of enough, pal. It's a zero sum game, somebody wins, somebody loses.

Might as well go ahead and own it. Because make no mistake, these days, we're the Bad Guys. No sense fighting it, because it'll always be something. We're fucking up the script, and they hate us for it. And is it not glorious?

If I might be so bold… Sinn Féin, motherfuckers! (Love you and miss you, Ashley.)

This is our deal, and to hell with what anybody else thinks about it.

Ain't nobody about to give us jack shit. Never have, never will. Which is why it won't bother me in the least when they give Aaron Rodgers the MVP and struggle to give Drew even the obligatory cursory mention as an also-ran before moving on to how in any other year Tom Brady would have won it.

Screw the MVP. That kind of thing is something you have to be given. Kinda like a rematch in the BCS Championship Game.

So go ahead and give it to whomever gives you the biggest boner. That's what you're gonna do anyway, so whatever. Drew doesn't need anything you have to give, and neither do the Saints.

We'll take what we want, thank you very much. #wegotthis

And if it involves violating any of your antiquated, arbitrarily-applicable "unwritten rules" of sportsmanship and "class" then so be it. Don't much give a fuck.

Meantime, I know this post might come off as "classless" too. Please believe me when I tell you that I don't intend to come off that way. I have the utmost respect for you as professional athletes and/or fully-credentialed members of the Legitimate Media™, douchebags though you may be. One might even argue that you're a bunch of whining pussies. No disrespect intended though. Promise. And I certainly respect your right to hold your opinions on all these issues, no matter how retarded they might be.

Still not sorry though. Not for any of it.

So I'll leave you with this. And I say this with all sincerity, right from the bottom of my heart, and with all due respect: Lick my balls.

Have a nice day.