Welcome to yet another offseason, bitches. Hope you're ready for it to all start falling apart.

Oh, who am I kidding over here? Of course you are. LOOMIS!!!

Just in case you haven't given it a whole lot of thought yet, prepare to be incredibly annoyed. Because this one's gonna be worse than most. Maybe a lot worse. There's probably not gonna be a whole lot to get really excited about. And there's likely to be at least a handful of situations that lend themselves to sending Message Board Guy off the deep end, into protracted fits of OUTRAGE(!!!) over what are clearly portents of impending DOOOM!!! Even moreso than usual, that is. Good times. Or something.

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Thanks for everything, Gregg. Especially 2009. Now get the fuck out.

Think we have enough time to get a "Spagheads" movement going by September?

Now that we've gotten our little post-season pep talk out of the way, the time has come to vent. To sling around some of that sweet, sweet blame. Unfortunately, Gregg beat us to the punch and bolted before our angry mob was able to get to him and tie him down so that we could ride him out of town on a rail. Damn the luck! I'll take it though. Three years was plenty, thank you very much. Enjoy the ring, Gregg. You earned it. But I agree with you, it's time for a change. Thanks for saving Coach Payton the trouble of having to do it himself. Continue Reading…

Welp, that sure was one hell of a kick to the genitals. Again. Hey, on the bright side, look how far we've come. These days when the Saints really wind up and put one right to our collective ballsack, at least they do it in the playoffs. High five? Or something?

It sucks when you're not sure which emotion is the most appropriate for the situation, doesn't it? Take your pick, they're all applicable to some degree or another. The hard part is having to deal with all of them at once. All in a 4-minute span. You can hardly be blamed if it left you confused and irritable, and if you're still walking around in a daze some 72 hours later. Hell, I bet Pierre Thomas would come off less concussed than I would right about now.

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Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends. We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside.

Cha-ching, bitches! One more for the Bad Guys.

The only thing missing was Chris Ivory busting a bottle upside Ndamukong Suh's head. But we'll forgive that minor omission for the sake of avoiding the suspension. Besides, the Saints displayed more than enough "lack of class" to satisfy – scoring 5 touchdowns on 5 second-half possessions before driving to Detroit's 2 and taking a knee – without having to resort to their typical "dirtyness" anyway. Am I right, Prisco? Continue Reading…

Cha-ching! Who wants some?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Best meaningless week 17 game ever! Seriously, holy shit. That might very well have been the single most entertaining game of the Saints' 2011 regular season. Which is high praise indeed, as this team never fails to entertain. But this was more than that. It was something I'm not sure we Saints fans have ever experienced before, not even in 2009. It was a total swagfest. Just because. There was really nothing significant to lose, and realistically we all knew there probably wasn't anything significant to gain. But they went ahead and wiggled their dicks at 'em anyway. Why? Because they can. And it was glorious. Continue Reading…

Cha-ching! MVP! MVP! MVP!

Memo to #RodneyWhite, #BrettGrimes, Jason Cole and Pete Prisco: We're not sorry. Got a problem with that? Go fuck yourselves. How's that work for ya, champs?

Take your nebulous, malleable, phony notion of "sportsmanship" and "respect for the game" and the righteous indignation it affords you when convenient, and shove it right up your ass. We're quite aware of the real reason you're all butthurt about it. It's because you're weak. Because it's all you've got to hang your hat on right about now.

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Cha-ching, bitches! Are you smelling that Greatness? Oh, you better believe #wegotthis. WE WANT GREEN BAY! *clap clap clapclapclap*

I can't decide whether it seems like a hell of a lot longer than two months ago when the Saints were sitting at 5-3, had dropped two of their last three, had just shit the bed against a winless Rams team, and were staring down the barrel of what was supposed to be the teeth of the schedule with games against Tampa, Atlanta, the Giants and Detroit over the next five weeks, or whether it seems like yesterday. Continue Reading…

Cha-ching! Welcome to the playoffs, bitches! TEE-BOW! TEE-BOW! TEE-BOW!

Hey, nobody said it would be easy. (Actually, I might have said that back in September.) But I'll be damned if, against all odds, everything didn't come up Milhouse for the Saints anyway.

The Panchos' Defense channeled its Inner Tim Tebow once again and "made the plays when it really mattered." Or something. Meanwhile, the Actual Tim Tebow was pulling yet another four-leaf clover out of his ass and beating Chicago to put the Saints in the playoffs for the third straight year. And just for good measure, John Skelton, Early Doucet and the Cardinals were channeling their Inner Pat Pete and beating San Francisco, which put the NFC #2 seed legitimately within the Saints' reach. High motherfuckin' five! Continue Reading…

Cha-ching! How about that Pancho's Defense, bitches?!? Are you not entertained?

It's times like these when I wish this here little pissant blog had more than about a half-dozen readers. Because we'd have three whole weeks to get ourselves organized and get a "Raise the flag! Raise the flag! Raise the flag!" chant going during Dec 26th's game against Atlanta in the… wait for it, wait for it… Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Continue Reading…

Welp, they've got me right back where they want me. Cha-ching! Welcome to December, bitches. Shall we resume this here party?

And welcome back to the Saints too. Seems the sleeping giants may have finally awoken. A month ago they reminded us, and themselves, that November Is Important™. Evidently it wasn't just a clever tee shirt slogan. Clearly it helped them to remember to Bring Their Wood™, and perhaps more importantly, to bring their whole asses. The result? Two crucial divisional wins followed by a long Thanksgiving holiday, and then Monday night's pimp-slapping of the Giants which punctuated and underscored their month-long transition back into Beast Mode. Continue Reading…

Aaaaah. There's not a whole lot more satisfying than strutting into the Georgia Dome, bending Roddy White over, and shoving something unpleasant right up his ass. Am I right, Ray Edwards? High five!

So why is it that I'm still having a hell of a difficult time mustering up the usual levels of #wegotthis, even as the Saints enter the bye week 7-3 with a "game and a half" lead in the NFC South, and riding a 2-game win streak, both against divisional opponents? Is it because the better team lost? Nope. It's because the better team probably should have lost. Continue Reading…