Archive for the ‘Sweet, Sweet Miscellany’ Category

Jun
9

Semi-Ho With Aunt Grandy

Can I tell you?Looking for a fresh new reason to be pissed off at Roger Goodell? Look no further than this here post. It's his fault that I'm writing it, and it's his fault that you just started reading it. Hey, if it's any consolation, I do end up horribly boned. High five!

I don't consider myself a "home chef" nor do I consider myself exceptionally learned in the gastronomic arts. I don't even fancy myself a pretentious douchebag "foodie". But I know what I like, and I like to think I can hold my own in the kitchen. I'd rather cook than go out for dinner, and my dishes usually draw raves from those for whom I cook. I'm a hobbyist. Nothing more, nothing less. The only thing I'm sure of (most of the time) is that I'm a hell of a lot better than Aunt Sandy. Occasionally the culinary gods disagree. Pride goeth before the fall and whatnot. Continue Reading…

Apr
10

So, what have I missed? Nothing?

For the record, we here at moosedenied never intended to go on hiatus for a month.

Unfortunately, shortly after my last post, I received a fax from the league office informing me that I was being locked out of my WordPress admin section. This left me with no recourse but to decertify as a blog and file for an injunction. Yesterday, that injunction was granted, and now the plan is to do what any enterprising fan would: Sue their dongs off and hope that it gets me my 15 minutes as some kind of working class hero. Continue Reading…

Dec
12

How ya like me now, bitches? I’ve got bacon jam and you don’t.

Dude got robbed. ROBBED, I tell you!That's right. I said bacon jam. What evil hath Top Chef's Kevin Gillespie wrought? Fear that man. And now, you should fear me too. Don't believe me, ask my arteries.

I have no idea how close this is to Kevin's. Probably not very. The internets went all apeshit from the moment Kevin unleashed this delicious abomination, and the Googles list probably a hundred takes on it. As is my usual wont, I got the jist of about 6 or 7 of 'em, then just did what I wanted. The result follows… Continue Reading…

Oct
Jun
15

Serif don’t like it…

Better check yoselfToday, I would like to share with you a personal story of internet-based ennui.

See, I have this internet friend named Peyton [last name withheld]. Peyton is going to get a tattoo on his ribs soon, but he has run into a bit of a snag whilst preparing his design. The problem is that the font of his choosing, MS Serif, is too small. He needs for the text to be far larger, because he’s a big guy with huge ribs.

Naturally, Peyton did what anyone would do in that situation. He started a thread on an internet message board to ask if anyone knew of a bigger font he could use. Continue Reading…

May
7

Somebody’s been googling himself. A lot.

Obsess much?

Is it true that you could go blind from doing that too much?

Damn, Kenny. Just go ahead and click the submit button on the contact form already. I tried to make the anti-spam challenge question as easy as I could.

We don’t hate you here. We goof on you because it’s fun, and you make yourself an easy target. But we certainly don’t wish you any specific harm. Want to tell your side of the story? We’ll publish it. Or, if you prefer, just vent your spleen about what assholes we are. Either way is fine. I’m a big boy, I can take it. Got something to say, say it.

Apr
5

We’re just following ancient history…

It's a man, baby!If I strip for you, will you strip for me? Uh huh.

Tomorrow, April 9, is CSS Naked Day.

It’s at times like this, when great heaven knows
That we wish our styles had not so much code
So let’s loosen up with a playful tease
Like all bloggers did through the centuries

Everybody knows that content is king. But CSS has to rank right up there as at least a duke. Perhaps a lord of some sort. Regardless, a sweet pile of CSS can embiggen the smallest of bloggers. So let’s tip our caps to the goodness of standards-compliant prettification by streaking through the blogosphere for a day, whadd’ya say? Show off your <body>. It’s a perfectly cromulent thing to do.

Super duper easy to follow directions for several different blogging platforms can be found at the link above. But basically what it boils down to is unbuttoning that stylesheet and leaving it right where it falls. We here at moosedenied assure you that we’ll still respect you in the morning.

Mar
6

The truth about WordPress 2.5: It’s great!

Know what sucks? When you’ve got about ten unpublished blog posts sitting there in the queue, and you can’t figure out how to flesh them out and get them finished. And they just sit there. You go back and try to get one finished, and by the time you give up, you’ve deleted more than you’ve added. Shit.

I’ve got one bitchin’ cold right at the moment, so I didn’t have a whole lot going on yesterday. (Temporarily) gave up on trying to find inspiration for the next installment of the draft preview, so I decided to go ahead and upgrade myself to WordPress 2.5. Don’t see anything different? That’s how you know it worked, rather than turning into a huge pain in my ass. There’s not a whole lot in this world that’s more satisfying than averting ass pain.

So since I seem to be having so much trouble inspiring myself to write about anything interesting, I figure I’ll pass a little time geeking out with my blogging compadres (assuming, of course, that you’re not one of those Typepad chumps.) Continue Reading…

Oct
12

Fun with logs!

It's big. It's heavy. It's Wood!Surely you other bloggers are already well aware of how much fun reviewing your stats can be. Especially the referrer logs and search engine keywords reports. High comedy. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. (<–That’ll get me a few hits from people searching for Bad Religion lyrics, I’m sure.)

One thing that’s become abundantly clear is that pop culture quotes bring the crazy, random hits. Useless, irrelevant hits. Amazing how many people are searching for Animal House and Silver Streak quotes on a daily basis.

Funnier yet is how many people search for "the date germany bombed pearl harbor."

We’ve gotten hits from people searching for Pat Harrington, a place to download Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and recipes for authentic Cincinnati chili. God only knows why anyone would want one of those. Apparently lots of people fondly remember Falco’s Der Kommissar, but are very, very hazy on how the lyrics went. Continue Reading…

Oct
5

We’re not whores. I swear.

I love the smell of commerce in the morning.Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. But I’ll confess that I get a little tingly feeling in the nether regions when somebody leaves a comment at this here blog. And a full blown boner when somebody actually goes out of their way to link here from somewhere else.

It’s not so much about being an attention whore (or at least that’s what we insist on telling ourselves,) but rather some twisted sense of pride in the knowledge that somebody out there is deriving something resembling pleasure from the ridiculous, rambling, overly-wordy, too-often-completely-unfunny Saints-themed hack comedy Bea’s Head and I spew forth onto these here pages on a semi-regular basis. Who’d have figured that would ever happen? We’re as surprised as you are.

This morning we were shocked and appalled to find that Humid Haney plugged the post right below this one over at his place. Wait… did I say appalled? I meant delighted. Continue Reading…

Jul
5

Well that’s a hell of a thing…

New Media is so gotdanged succulentBREAKING NEWS:¬†moosedenied.com has learned that some dude in Pennsylvania named Eric has a Saints Podcast going, and he’s going to be doing a new episode this evening, July 22, 2007 at 8:00 EDT.

Where the hell have we been? Because see, this here is pretty sweet. Wish we had known about it earlier.

You’ve gotta love New Media. Power to the people, baby!

Oh sure, most people are huge assholes who have very little to say, and now that the digital age has given them tools, they never shut the hell up. Yeah, believe me, we’re well aware¬†of that. Fortunately, most of those people tend to go for the absolute easiest possible platform, message boards.

But you’ve gotta take the good with the bad, and in our opinion, this here Podcast is pretty good. Eric obviously puts plenty of effort into his Podcasts, and in our opinion, it’s worth the time to give it a listen. We’ve checked out a couple of the past Podcasts available on his site, and we enjoyed them.

So we figured we’d pimp them a little bit. We’ll be tuning into tonight’s Podcast. Nice job, Eric. Way to kick a little ass there.

Link: New Orleans Saints Review

Jul
8

Announcement: Kenny Wilkerson Tracker Launched

Stonewall in the house!As a public service to our fellow Saints fans on these here internets, moosedenied is proud to announce the launch of our brand spankin’ new Kenny Wilkerson’s Life Status Tracker.

It is our fervent hope that this page will serve to keep Saints fans up to date with the latest news on Kenny without having to go to the trouble of starting yet another thread on Saintsreport.com to ask.

We invite anyone starving for updated Kenny information to bookmark the page and refer back to it as often as needed. It’s available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and will be updated as events warrant.

In the meantime, we at moosedenied would like to wish Kenny all the best in his recovery from surgery, and would like to credit http://www.abevigoda.com for the concept we blatantly stole.