Unless you're the type who's prone to occasional late-night fits of scattershot rage which compel you to pick names randomly out of a hat and lash out at them on Twitter for no particular reason, you're probably a big fan of our very own Dream Punter Of The Future.

Unfortunately, much as we love him, we Saints fans have been derelict in our duty to assign him a kickass nickname. This has apparently been brought to Morstead's attention recently, and he has taken to Twitter to urge us to rectify this glaring oversight.

It's not that there haven't been occasional attempts. Kevin has been referring to him as Puntmaster Flex for quite some time. Hasn't stuck though. Based on the picture above, one might be tempted to go with "Hasselhoff" but that's not nearly catchy enough. And while the Hoffnecissity is quite obvious in this one picture, clearly that was one hell of a fluke. I'd be surprised if our friend Superdeformed hasn't floated "Punter Hearst Helmsley" once or twice. I'd be on board for that, but it's perhaps a bit too obscure.


One can only assume that Morstead already tried floating the obvious choice, T-Bone, at team meetings and whatnot. Love that tee bone! Problem was that Gregg Williams had already assigned T-Bone to Turk McBride. And you know what happens when T-Bone doesn't stick. Next stop: Koko The Monkey. At which point, you'd better scramble before that sticks.

And what with it being 21st Century America and all, the solution is obvious. When in doubt, leverage social media! To the Tweeter Tubes!

And what did Twitter come up with? Apparently "The Leg" and/or "Dat Boot."


Really? Talk about an intense beige. Damn. Come on people, put some elbow grease into it for crying out loud.

Punt Force Trauma. Legs Benedict. The Boot Of All Evil. Punt Line Assembly. That kind of thing.

Dat Boot? Really? Sigh. The shame of it all is that the tee shirts will probably be flying off the shelves just as soon as Lauren can fire up the screen printer. That is, unless about 50 CafePress merchants beat her to it and are really quick (and relentless) with the Twitter spam.

Anyway, we're hoping our friend Morstead doesn't settle for something so stupid and hackneyed. He deserves better. Maybe he can come to terms with McBride to buy back T-Bone. We here at moosedenied fail to see what's so wrong with Dream Punter Of The Future anyway. It fits perfectly, and just rolls off the tongue. (That's what she said.)

In other news, we're seeking volunteers to contact Turk McBride on Twitter and ask him why Constantinople got the works. I realize that it's really none of our business, but I've been waiting some 20 fuckin' years to find out. I've never bought the explanation that people just liked it better that way.

This guy… this is my kinda guy. 5 sacks and 3 forced fumbles last year? As a backup? In Detroit? Boing.

I can't believe the Saints caught me sleeping on this guy. That's some Shaun-Rogers-esque disruptiveness right there. The Saints really have gone balls-out to transform their defensive line this offseason, and until further notice, I'm pretty excited about it.

But what's really got me excited right at the moment is the equally balls-out effort to transform their special teams. Whether or not it results in a significant improvement remains to be seen of course, but it sure does stand to be radically different.

First of all, at least in theory, Jonathan Casillas, Chris Reis and Courtney Roby are back in the mix. That in and of itself is huge, but there are a couple of caveats. If Casillas ends up being the starting WLB, they might take him off special teams. And if Sproles ends up returning punts and kickoffs, Roby might not make the roster. Special teams could end up losing Malcolm Jenkins too.

But between Jonathan Amaya, Nate Bussey, Johnny Patrick, Martez Wilson, Will Herring and maybe DeAndre McDaniel, that's up to six new guys on special teams this year even if you don't include Casillas and Roby, and assume they take Jenkins off ST.

Tony Sparano said that Amaya was the Dolphins' best special teams player last year. Herring has been referred to in Seattle as a "special teams maniac." Bussey was a special teams animal in college. Reis has made his living on special teams.

And if that weren't enough, Shaun Rogers is in double-digits in career blocked kicks, and Darren Sproles (at only 28 years old) currently ranks 18th in NFL history in combined punt and kick return yards.

Greg McMahon, you're on notice.

On the other hand, I'm sorry to report that it's all moot at this point. The Philadelphia Eagles have already been installed as the NFC representative in Super Bowl XLVI. And if somehow they suffer nine separate misfortunes, the Packers, Falcons and Cowboys are Plans B, C and D. I mean, I guess they're gonna go ahead and play the games anyway. There's money to be made, after all.

I'm just saying don't go getting your hopes up or anything. Clearly we're doomed.

At least we've got Dat Boot. And his partner in crime… uh… um… Shoe Dat? Yeah, let's go with Shoe Dat. See, because he wears a shoe on his kicking foot, unlike that asshole Mike Lansford. And "Dat" see, "Dat" is a "Nawlins" thing. So it works on multiple levels. Or something. I'm sure Reischea Canidate gives it her full endorsement.

Please feel free to pimp us on your favorite social media service: