Did you know that the drummer from Def Leppard only has one arm? Of course you did. But did you know that he caught three touchdown passes behind Jason David in a pick up game last night? Probably not. But I bet you’re not surprised.

Mr. T is correct to pity us. But one of the great things about being a sports fan is that self-delusion is perfectly acceptable. You can fool yourself all season long about your favorite team, and at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.

Oh sure, you’ll get some grief over it from assholes, but you’re gonna get grief from assholes anyway. And it’s a special kind of fun knowing that your irrational overconfidence pisses off the "realist" at least as much as his negativity harshes your vibe.

So as far as I’m concerned, Mr. T can kiss my ass. You heard me, Clubber? You ain’t so bad. The Saints might be paper champions, but you’ve been pitying fools since 1982, and yet foolishness continues to abound. What does that say about you? Exactly. Now give me another couple 32 oz cups of that there Fool-Aid. Actually, on second thought, just give me a bottle of anything. And a glazed donut. To go.

There was much to pity on the field Sunday. The unmistakable cone of incompetence surrounding a certain #42 continues to deepen and broaden in circumference. The hole they’ve dug for themselves is getting deeper. The defense is getting crappier. The o-line is getting weaker. Leon’s getting larger.

Trying to make sense of it all remains a fool’s errand. The Saints have never made sense, and they don’t seem to be in any mood to start now. Just when you’re sure they’re down and out, they go on a month-long bender of competence. Then, just when you think they’ve got it all figured out and are ready to steamroll through the rest of the schedule… thud. Never has an onamotapoeia been so soul-crushingly apt. Apt, I tell you!

Those who have been wanting more of an effort to run the ball got what they wanted vs. the Texans, to some extent anyway. The Saints ran the ball 17 times (not counting one rush by Drew and one by Lance Moore) with 15 of those carries going to Reggie Bush… for a whopping 34 yards. This, against a defense that even after this game is the 24th ranked rushing defense in the league. A defense that even after holding the Saints to 47 yards rushing Sunday, is still giving up an average of 124 yards rushing per game.

And Reggie’s putting up 2.26 yards per run?

Oh, I know, I know, 17 "real" rushing attempts is still not "enough"… it’s still not a commitment to the running game. But do we really want a commitment to 2.47 yards per play? Want to know why the Saints don’t run the ball? Because they can’t.

The real shame this week was that the passing game, while completing passes at a rate of 67%, was only producing a paltry 8.8 yards per completion. I’ll take 8.8 yards per play over 2.47 yards any day. But 8.8 yards per completion is asstastic. Disgraceful. The Texans were missing both of their starting corners, for crying out loud.

So why only 8.8 yards per completion? Well, for one, the Saints don’t seem to go down the field anymore. Ever. Whether it’s by design, or whether Drew’s is checking down all the time either because nobody’s open downfield or because he doesn’t have enough time in the pocket, or whether it’s a little of all of that, the passing game has gone from explosive to downright pedestrian.

Devery can’t be counted on to catch the ball, Meachem doesn’t even have to bother bringing his uniform to the stadium. David Patten and Lance Moore, inexplicably, are lucky if they get two or three passes thrown their way on any given week (Patten 2 and Moore 0 Sunday.)

Actually, that part is quite explicable. But I’m not sure it’s "good for business" to talk about it. Aw fuck it, here goes…

***WARNING*** I’m about to talk about the big elephant in the room, and it’s gonna piss some of you off. You have been warned.

Reggie Bush: 12 receptions for 70 yards, for 5.83 yards per.

And herein lies the rub. A lot of people like to call those little swing passes to Reggie "long running plays" and that makes sense. If you consider it effectively an extension of the running game, then 27 touches for 104 yards and 3.85 yards per touch doesn’t seem all that impotent. But if that’s your position, then it’s hard to also hold the position that the Saints aren’t "running" enough.

But at the same time, if the logic behind the swing passes is "getting Reggie in space so he can make plays"… well… he ain’t making ‘em. 3.85 yards per touch is not exactly making plays. Ending 90% of them on your feet and out of bounds ain’t exactly helping either.

Oh sure, he has his moments when you marvel at the toughness of the play. But given the number of touches he gets, those moments are too few and far between as compared to the number of stepping-out-of-bounds-untouched moments.

Wanna talk predictable, one-dimensional offense? How about 39.7% of the offensive snaps going to a single guy? The guy with the big huge bullseye on his chest. The 3.85 yards per touch playmaker.

On the season, Reggie is touching the ball on 1 out of every 3 offensive snaps and producing 4.31 yards per play. The Saints offense as a whole is producing 5.4 yards per play. And Reggie is supposed to be the "playmaker?"

So I ask you… is the real problem with the offense Payton’s tendency to abandon the run? Or is it Payton’s over-reliance on Reggie Bush?

Is Reggie’s tendency to end plays standing on the sideline smart? No reason to take a hit and risk injury and/or a fumble when there’s nothing left to be gained by staying in bounds? Is he being coached to do that? Or is he leaving yards on the field and not making enough of an effort to "make plays" like he did at USC? Or is the perception that he goes out of bounds an awful lot all in my head in the first place?

Maybe Pierre Thomas is the savior in waiting for the running game. I’m not saying he’s not. We’ll never know until and unless he gets his shot. But that unless part is a bitch, ain’t it?

Because, much as I hate to even entertain the question, I ask you: Can the Saints afford for Pierre Thomas, or anyone else, to be the savior at RB, given the big elephant in the room? Do they even want to find out?

Toss out the pollyannish Earn It mantras and the high-minded ideals of "let the best players play" and focus only on the cynical realities of the multi-billion-dollar NFL.

Is the dirty little secret truth that, for as long as Reggie is wearing the black and gold, all other running backs on the roster are destined to ride the midnight train to Jake Delhomme City?

Look, I’m not saying it’s all Reggie’s fault. Hell, I’m not even saying Reggie is a net-negative for this team. In fact, I’m sure he’s a net-positive. Of course this team’s issues are wide-ranging and diverse. Of course Jason David blows. Don’t take my focusing on Reggie today as an indication that I think he’s "the problem." There is no single "the problem."

But if you’ve come here for comprehensive Saints analysis, this must be your first visit. I don’t claim any special insight or acumen, I’m just a fan. I’m not trying to break it all down or to give fair and balanced critiques of the team on a week to week basis. I’m just spewing forth whatever happens to be on my mind at any given time. Today, it just happens to be a very, very cynical outlook on the whole Reggie Bush Experience.

Shit, all this cynical reality stuff is making me want to cry. Where’s that damned bartender with my next round of Fool-Aid? Probably taking shit to Apollo Creed. Or driving a taxi in the District of Columbia. Pity this, jerk.

Hey, I’ve got a glazed donut! And a bottle of something. Sweet. Geaux Saints! Woohoo! Super Bowl here we come!

F-f-f-foolin’. 
Aah f-f-foolin’!

I’m not foolin’ myself.

Actually, I totally am. But I don’t care. Join me, won’t you? We’re Saints fans, dammit! To hell with the truth! What has the truth ever done for us anyway? The truth only brings on the heartache and/or heartbreak. Delusion is definitely the way to go.