Firstly, let me just say that I don’t have anything at all against the Hornets. In fact, I wish them nothing but success. I think it’s great that they’re (back) in New Orleans, I’m glad they’re winning, I’m glad they’re packing the arena and are creating such excitement in the city. I’m glad Hornets fans are having such a great time, and I hope it continues for as long as possible.

It’s just that I don’t give a crap about basketball. I’ve tried, but I just don’t have it in me. Football is my first love. There are pictures of me from before I could walk with all manner of Saints and LSU merchandise. I was pretty much born and bred a Saints/LSU fan. Other sports didn’t come until later for me, when I gained unsupervised access to cable tee vee. Summers out of school, two working parents and day games on WGN turned me into a Cubs fan. Baseball became my second love. (Little league helped a lot too. When it came to participation, I actually preferred baseball to football, and I still do today.)

The Jazz had already left for Salt Lake City by then, so by the time basketball entered my childhood consciousness, it was mainly because of Hawks games on (W)TBS. Never really became a Hawks "fan" per se, but hey, it was sports and it was on tee vee. I’ll have to ask my parents one of these days why, as far as I can remember, I was never really exposed to the Jazz while they were in town.

During my days as a basketball kinda-sorta-fan, I bounced around a little. I was fascinated by Dr. J and Daryl Dawkins, and I thought the name Mo Cheeks was funny, so I was a 76ers "fan" for a while. Eventually I changed allegiances to the Celtics. Why? Mainly because of that bitchin’ parquet floor at the Garden.

When the parents eventually agreed to put up a backboard in the driveway, I insisted on making my own. I didn’t want the prefab fiberglass high-school backboard everybody else had. I wanted a rectangular piece of thick plywood that we’d cut to NBA dimensions, and I’d stain and varnish to look like that bitchin’ parquet floor and paint the lines on myself. Eventually, I called a last-minute audible and decided that the trim wouldn’t be shamrock and white, but rather, LSU purple and mustard yellow. Good call. Damn was I proud of that thing. It didn’t even start to warp for at least two weeks. It sure was purty though. And that, folks, was the high point of my basketball fanhood. A really sweet-looking homemade backboard which ultimately proved to be of poor quality.

Still reading? Mind if I ask why?

I’m not sure why, but eventually I left basketball behind. It was never much more than an adolescent dalliance for me anyway… a plan-b pastime when there weren’t any "better" sports (or pseudo-sports) to play or to watch. So when the Hornets moved to town, it was barely a blip on my radar. "Hey, good for them. Good for New Orleans. More power to ‘em." But that’s been about it.

So I’m certainly not about to go all bandwagon Hornets fan here. I think what they’re doing is great, but this isn’t about basketball. No, Little Hap’s Dad has hipped me to an angle that’s far bigger than basketball: personal animosity. Grudge-holding. Stickin’ it to jerks. Chickens coming home to roost. Schadenfreude. Hell yeah, baby! Now that’s something I can really sink my teeth into.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and call Phil Hardberger names. As regular visitors to this here blog already know, we try to stay on the high road here at moosedenied. We’re not going to lower ourselves to sophomoric namecalling and petty vitriol here. The esteemed mayor of San Antonio, after all, is deserving of respect.

That being said, let’s pause for a second for no reason whatsoever to gaze upon these here pictures of a douchebag, a horse’s ass and a Rat Bastard:

The irony of it all (in the accurate sense of the word, not the Finney definition) is that in the end, Hardberger’s bumbling douchebaggery was probably as significant a contributing factor as any in the ultimate decision to drag Benson Football Incorporated kicking and screaming back to New Orleans. Second only to the herculean efforts of Joe Horn, that is.

Had Hardberger been capable of mustering even a modicum of humility, an ounce of tact, rather than incessantly shooting off at the mouth like some kind of… *ahem*… loose cannon… he might just have been able to pull it off. His complete inability to keep a public lid on his unbridled enthusiasm for looting the remains after the Federal Flood, even as sharks were still swimming through the streets of Metairie (or something) served only to add fuel to the public relations fire that would have accompanied the move that somewhere deep down we all know the NFL would have made if there were any way to sufficiently "finesse it."

Fortunately for us, Phil Hardberger is the antithesis of finesse. His compulsion to be a heartless, obnoxious jackass made it all but impossible for Tagliabue to continue down that road. Nothing like your opponent having a detestable, arrogant fuckwit for a spokesperson to galvanize public opinion against their cause.

So thanks, Mayor Hardberger. On some ironic level, we owe you our eternal gratitude for doing what perhaps only you were capable of doing: paving the Saints’ long road back home to where they belong. Your overwhelming asshattery benefitted us greatly, where a lesser asshat may have failed us. Thanks again. Now kindly go fuck yourself. Love, New Orleans.

Let it go? No way. Never. Not a chance in hell.

Being a sports fan is to a large extent an affair of the heart, and Hardberger wouldn’t know anything about that. So I doubt that Hardberger himself will suffer any personal anguish when the Hornets complete their humiliation of the Boot Accessories. But it does my heart good to know that he might.

So Geaux Hornets! The very idea that a Hornets win over the Boot Accessories amounts to a metaphorical swift kick to Phil Hardberger’s shriveled testicles is quite a compelling reason to care. Deeply.

But hey, here at moosedenied, we’re all about sportsmanship. So good luck to the Spurs and their diehard fans. Good luck to the city of San Antonio and their one big league sports franchise.

And good luck to you, mayor Hardberger. May you get everything you’ve got coming to ya.

Oh yeah, and… FYYFF.

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Is it true that you could go blind from doing that too much?

Damn, Kenny. Just go ahead and click the submit button on the contact form already. I tried to make the anti-spam challenge question as easy as I could.

We don’t hate you here. We goof on you because it’s fun, and you make yourself an easy target. But we certainly don’t wish you any specific harm. Want to tell your side of the story? We’ll publish it. Or, if you prefer, just vent your spleen about what assholes we are. Either way is fine. I’m a big boy, I can take it. Got something to say, say it.

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Pete’s conclusion? We’ll have to wait and see.

That right there is some good stuff.

But it gets even better. Pete knows that we love him here at our humble blog, and he has offered us his full-draft breakdown to publish as a moosedenied exclusive. (Sssssh… don’t tell anyone at the Times-Pic.) So without any further ado…

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Peter Finney

It was quite an eventful weekend for the Saints.

How so, you ask?

Well, let me tell you.

It started Saturday morning, just like most other weekends. But this wasn’t just any weekend. No, this one was different. This one was like Christmas weekend. Christmas doesn’t always fall on a weekend, but when it does, this was a lot like that.

And let me tell you something else.

If Mickey Loomis’ goal was to land LSU’s Glenn Dorsey, he failed. But if his goal was to land the best player he possibly could without paying too much, he just might have succeeded.

But when will we know for sure?

I’ll tell you.

Just as soon as I finish this sandwich.

We’ll find out sometime down the road, once it becomes clear. But first, we have to see these guys put the pads on and play some games against NFL competition. Then we’ll know. Unless they end up kind of tied.

Until then, we wait.

That sandwich was pretty good. It had cheese on it. Sean Payton says not to eat the cheese. Carl Peterson must have overheard him, because the Chiefs refused the cheese that Payton and Loomis were offering. Which just proves that you have to be careful what you say.

Willie Roaf played for the Chiefs. He was a big fan of cheese. It seems like the Saints’ best drafts through the years were the ones where they took players like Willie Roaf. And Rickey Jackson. And Marques Colston. And the worst were the ones where they took players like Jonathan Sullivan and Shawn Knight and Ricky Williams.

What can we learn from that? Well, it’s simple, really. In order to draft well, you need to take good players and avoid the busts.

But it’s difficult, because you seldom know which ones are which. You only find out after it’s too late to make a different decision. That’s why these guys get paid the big bucks.

Later Saturday afternoon, the Saints took cornerback Tracy Porter.

Here’s the irony: Porter is from Port Allen, LA.

Even more ironic than that is that most people were expecting the Saints to trade that pick to the Giants for their version of Kyle Turley, tight end Jeremy Shockey. That’s extremely ironic. It’s ironic because Loomis could have sweetened the deal, but he didn’t. Not because he is lazy, or was not paying attention, but because Loomis is not a guy who is going to overpay.

So now the question becomes: Are the Saints better off with Tracy Porter instead of Jeremy Shockey?

I’ll tell you what I think.

I think that it’s hard to say. Porter is a cornerback and Shockey is a tight end. It’s apples and oranges. It would be like comparing a discount on dry cleaning to a really good ham & cheese sandwich.

But I will say this: If Tracy Porter turns out to be half the player that Willie Roaf was, then the Saints will take it and never look back.

Ironically, Sunday’s action started earlier in the day than Saturday’s.

It used to be that day two of the draft was all about finding diamonds in the rough. These days, it’s still like that. Only moreso.

The Saints stayed on the defensive side of the ball with their first of two picks in the fifth round, selecting another defensive tackle.

I once asked the late Jim Finks about whether it’s better to draft offense or defense in the later rounds.

Do you know what he told me?

No, you probably don’t.

So I’ll tell you.

He told me that you use late round picks on the best players left on the board.

That kind of philosophy was what made Jim Finks so great. That’s how the Saints ended up with Dalton Hilliard, Rueben Mayes, Barry Word and Gil Fenerty all in a single draft.

Barry Word ended up playing for the Chiefs. So did Willie Roaf and Kyle Turley. The same Chiefs team that, ironically, just welcomed Glenn Dorsey into the fold this weekend.

With their second pick of the fifth round, the Saints selected Nebraska offensive tackle Carl Nicks. Willie Roaf was also an offensive tackle. I wonder if Nicks will end up going to the Chiefs in a few years? If Nicks ends up being half the player that Willie Roaf was, the Saints better not let him go.

In the sixth round, the Saints drafted a kicker.

A kicker?

Yes. A kicker.

But here’s the irony: He’s left-footed.

You know who else was left-footed?

That’s right. Mike Ditka.

I once asked Iron Mike whether being left-footed helped him or hindered him during his playing days. He said it didn’t really make any difference at all.

But you have to wonder whether it was a significant factor for the Saints when they decided to select Wisconsin’s Taylor Mehlhaff. After all, Mark Brunell is left-handed, and so is Tyler Palko. One of those two guys could end up holding for field goal attempts if something were to happen to Steve Weatherford.

You can never be too careful.

In the seventh round, the Saints selected Michigan receiver Adrian Arrington. That’s ironic because the Redskins used one of the picks from the Ricky Williams trade to select LaVar Arrington.

But it remains to be seen whether Arrington will be more like the last receiver the Saints selected in the 7th round, or more like the last Saints player named Adrian. Watch out for those mascots.

Eventually we will have answers to all of these questions. But until then, all we can do is wait and see.

In the meantime, on a scale of 1 to 100, I’d grade this draft class a solid M.

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All six guys stand a better-than-fifty-percent chance of sticking. All six guys seem to fit the "value" theme, all of them fill needs (or potential needs) on the roster, one of them fills multiple needs, and at least one of them is a late-round immediate starter. A guy who helps you offensively by scoring points, and defensively by improving your field position. Now that’s value.

On first glance, this draft class sure does smack a whole lot more of 2006 than it does of 2007. And we should all be happy about that. Two perceived traits of this current regime that were beginning to become cliche (too-cute small-school infatuation and offense-over-defense-at-any-cost) were thoroughly debunked. And those who were fearing the idea of "mortgaging the future" should at least take comfort in the fact that there’s apparently a limit to how far down that road they’re willing to go. There seems to be a little something for everybody in this draft. Well… everybody who’s not a perpetually-miserable asshole, that is.

The first day was either extremely intriguing and ultimately satisfying, or a huge cocktease, depending on your perspective. It didn’t take Long (pun intended) for the Saints to be kinda-sorta "on the clock." Once the Rams passed on Dorsey for Chris Long and the Falcons helped the Saints as much as they helped themselves by taking Matt Ryan, the game was officially on. Al Davis did what everybody knew Al Davis would do, not that McFadden was a bad pick by any stretch, and it was really starting to look like all us LSU… wait for it…. OMGHOMERS!!!!!!…. were actually going to have our collective wet dream become reality.

Dee-nied.

But as it turned out,  Message Board Guy hadn’t even finished typing out his hissy fit before Loomis pulled off what turned out to be a far more prudent Plan B. Sedrick Ellis ain’t no consolation prize. Rather, given that Dorsey would have apparently cost two first round picks plus significant lagniappe, it seems pretty clear that Ellis was the better value. By a lot. A whole lot.

LSU homers (myself included) can take solace in knowing that they gave it their best shot. LSU haters can revel in the fact that it didn’t work out and the non-LSU guy is now a Saint. The win-now crowd can rest assured that this guy is going to be an absolute stud right from day one. The build-for-the-future crowd can rest easy knowing that Loomis and crew were not willing to "pull a Ditka" and sell the farm for one guy. And everybody can be happy that the Saints actually went defense.

Given what we know right now, it’s hard to imagine any way Ellis can be considered anything other than the absolute best case scenario.

Oh sure, That Guy will claim that the Saints were "saved from themselves" by Kansas City turning down the apparent offer for the #5 pick. But That Guy is the guy who’s still all too happy to remind you that "the Saints only have Drew Brees because Nick Saban and Randy Mueller allowed the Saints to have him." And… that guy? Fuck that guy.

The second round was eerily similar. Regardless of whether you were for or against the move, chances are you had come to terms with the idea that it was merely a formality. The Saints were going to trade at least their second round pick for Jeremy Shockey.

moosedenied was able to get Ronnie Ghent on the phone a few minutes prior to the pick:

Ghent:
Fuck!!!

But once again, Loomis proved that there’s only so far he’s willing to go down the road to Sellout City. Instead, the Saints told the Giants where to stick it, kept the pick (and Roman Harper) and took a cornerback. Nice.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I know much about Porter. I’m sure Message Board Guy can tell you all about how he rolls his hips, transitions from the backpedal, pivots his pancreas, all that kinda stuff Message Board Guy loves to regurgitate from scouting reports so as to dazzle you with his ability to memorize catchphrases. We don’t play that shit here at moosedenied.

All I know is that by most accounts, the guy can motor. He can stick a wideout. He plays the ball. He’ll catch more potential interceptions than he drops. He’s closer to 6′ than 5′8". He probably has a legitimate shot at the dime or even the nickel right off the bat. He’s a gunner on coverage teams. And he’s probably the odds-on favorite for return duties right from day one.

People with actual scouting credentials seem to think that he’s a potential starter at corner, maybe sooner than later. Some consider him the second best or even best straight up man corner in this draft. And that’s fantastic. But for a team in a window, what’s better is that he should be able to contribute now, even if "only" on special teams. Added value is always a good thing.

3rd round? Part of Ellis. Let’s say the left leg and maybe the spleen.

4th round? The bulk of Vilma. Let’s say everything from the nipples down.

Okay, let’s just stop for a second and really give some thought to the following: We’re in the fifth round now, and the whole damn thing has been DEFENSE. I shit you not.

TheMario Pressley, defensive tackle, THE North Carolina State University. Oh man have I made quite the ass of myself on several non-consecutive occasions on that campus. I’m pretty sure I’m on a list of "Wolfpack associates" at at least two message boards as well. So needless to say, I love this pick.

But more importantly, Coach O seems to think he can get the best out of this guy. By all accounts, he has the tools to disrupt the run and collapse the pocket. He seems to be a classic "value pick" in that he fell down the boards due to a spate of (arguably) freak injuries which derailed his senior season in college. All his negatives (aside from the injuries) are "coachuppable."

But two defensive tackles? Shouldn’t they have used that pick on another position? Maybe. But defensive tackle is an important position, one where both starters are due to hit the wall and become largely useless at any moment, there’s little upside behind the starters, and unlike corner and linebacker, the Saints were not able to address the position in free agency. Two defensive tackles is not overkill. It’s foresight.

Carl Nicks, offensive line, Nebraska. Another "value" pick. An absolute monster physically, available late due to "character concerns." Could be a steal if you can keep him in line. This is yet another example of how issues of this nature can take on lives of their own based on simplistic thought processes, hasty conclusions and sheer repetition.

If anybody really knows where this guy’s head is at, they’re not talking. For his part, Nicks insists that "it’ll never happen again." Whatever "it" is. Far as I can tell, it seems like he runs/ran with a rowdy crowd, wasn’t quite ready for the party to be over when the badges came a-knockin’ one time, and that’s about the extent of it. It could be more than that, but nobody really seems to know.

Now some will say that "lack of respect for authority" is a huge issue. Others will say that he’s not likely to be completely sloshed on the practice field and mouthing off to coaches at one of those 2am practices Coach Payton routinely runs. Some will say that that kind of guy will undermine the professionalism in a locker room. Others will say that Sean Payton ain’t Jim Haslett, and there aren’t any Albert Connells in his locker room. Nor will there be. Some will say that "one bad apple can ruin the whole bunch." Others will say that if you take the apple out of that kind of environment and surround him with grownups, professionals and coaches who don’t play that shit, you can find tremendous value where others fear to tread.

So we’ll see. Meantime, what we do know is that to date there’s been absolutely no indication that the "well, the whole ‘Character Counts’ mantra is out the window now" point of view is the least bit valid. Yeah, Sean Payton is gonna sell his soul over a 5th round offensive lineman. That makes sense. Ask Walter Thomas if he thinks Payton’s just talking out of his ass on that issue.

Taylor Mehlhaff, "pencil-necked geek kicker who isn’t a real football player" and all that good shit. Outstanding pick. Second best pick of the draft, and not just because I called it about 10 minutes before it happened.

All due respect to our friend Berto, who by no means is alone in his assessment, but I ask you…

Morten Andersen :: Olindo Mare

Point made?

It boggles the mind how, as Saints fans, we’ve been up and down the whole spectrum of this issue. We’ve had one of the greatest of all time, for a long time, yet not nearly long enough, and we’ve also been to kicker hell at least three times, even as recently as just last year. Yet for some reason, when the kicker blows, we burn him in effigy. It is an absolutely huge issue. We sit there and watch as games are lost on the foot of that crappy kicker, and we punch things and set other things on fire, and we pine wistfully for the good ole days when if all else failed, we knew there was a good chance that Morten could get us one of those 9-7 wins. He’d put us up by 2 with a minutes left, then he’d boot the kickoff right the fuck through the uprights so the opponent would have to go as far as humanly possible if they planned on beating us.

Then we watch Olindo Mare crap his pants over and over and over again, and we wonder how the Saints could possibly have given up a 6th round pick for this asshole.

But when the time comes to find an answer at the position, most of us don’t want to invest even the least significant of resources. "It’s just a kicker. They’re not even real football players. They’re a dime a dozen. Choose from 30 of ‘em off the street, you’ll be fine"

Bullshit.

We’ve been there, done that. Of all fanbases, we ought to get it. Really get it.

You’re lucky if your sixth round pick even makes the team. Antonio Pittman was a fourth. Chase Lyman? Mike Hass? And on and on?

This guy is not only going to make the team, he’s going to score points for us every single game, right from day one. He’s going to help us defensively with regard to field position. He’s going to save us a roster spot. By the way, since when did it just become a matter of course for the Saints to carry a "kickoff guy" and a "field goal guy?" Seems like most Saints fans just accept that now. Like it’s normal, like everybody does it. It boggles the mind. The position isn’t important enough to invest a 6th round pick, but it’s important enough to keep two of ‘em? One for kickoffs and one for field goals? It doesn’t make any sense.

If you need two kickers, you’re completely fucked at the position. If it’s gotten to the point where half your fanbase has gotten pretty much used to the idea of carrying two kickers, you’re just ridiculously fucked at the position. Since when is it not worthy of a 6th round pick to put an end to that kind of horror?

Just last year, the Cowboys used a 6th on Nick Folk. The Packers used a 6th on Mason Crosby. The Saints used a 6th round pick on Olindo Mare. How’d that work out for the Cowboys and Packers? How’d it work out for us?

The presence of Marteen as an excuse for taking a practice squad linebacker over Mehlhaff is a complete non-starter. Marteen is a mirage. Lightning in a bottle. Statistical anomaly based on a small sample size. Depending on Marteen is like not drafting Dulymus because Terry Allen carried the load when Ricky Williams went down in 2000.

And then there’s Adrian Arrington, WR, Michigan. The second coming of Colston??????

No. Not a chance. Don’t even start. Just… no.

That being said, I’ll bet he sticks. And for a 7th round pick, that alone makes the pick worth it.

Why does Arrington stick? Because Tracy Porter probably renders Lance Moore moot.

I’ve got nothing but love for Lance, but there’s just no upside there. Here’s hoping Lance finds himself a gig somewhere and is successful.

But from what I’ve read, my interpretation is that Arrington stands to develop into a Willie Jackson or Jake Reed type of guy. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Guys like Jackson and Reed are straight up cash money. I’m not holding my breath for that kind of thing to happen immediately, of course. But I’ll take that kind of upside in the 7th round.

Bottom line? Ellis and Mehlhaff are enough for this draft to warrant an A all by themselves. The other guys are gravy. Delicious, high-quality gravy. And lots of it.

It remains to be seen, obviously, but this might very well have been the one that puts us over the top.

Believe it.

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I can has allsome d-tackel pls mistur Lommis? Otherwize ima be all in ur internets disrespeckin ur skillz.

Sincerely,
sAiNtSguy498372

———————————-
Leave comments or DIE!
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Have mercy. There are no words. But the face is only half the story. To fully appreciate, you’ve got to grab yourself a little of that Manchester accent too. Oh my. That oughta be illegal. Bitchin’ shoulder ink too.

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As if the days leading up to this draft haven’t already been strange enough, Pete Prisco is now reporting that the Saints may be dangling Jammal Brown out there in potential trade-up scenarios. And I expect that by the end of the day, there will be full-blown riots in the electronic streets of Douchebag City.

Brown good. You no trade. Stoopid. You trade Harper. Me no like Harper. He suck. Brown better. You keep. You trade, we burn you with fire. He help Drew. You trade Harper. Or Meachem. Or guy who can’t catch.

For as much nitpicking and overanalysis that goes on most of the time on message boards, it boggles the mind how people just go caveman on some issues. Brown’s good, therefore you do not trade him. Simple as that. Right? Wrong, asshole.

It’s never that simple. And considering how eager you are to trade every other good player on the team before it comes time to pay him (Will Smith ring a bell? LeCharles Bentley? Darren Howard?) it’s hilarious how apparently we’re all DOOOOOOMED if they trade him now. Because this time next year, Message Board Guy will be screaming that "you’ve GOT to get something for him before he bolts in free agency!!!"

Message Board Guy would be happy to pay for Brown’s plane ticket out of town if it were for about nine day 2 draft picks.

We could get ourselves four more Colstons, two special teams gunners and three punters!

Or if Brown were in his contract year. Or if he were to utter a single discouraging word to a reporter, or on a radio show.

Now, granted, he’s not about to be a free agent. And as far as we know (which is key) he’s not making noise about his contract. Yet. And I fully realize that I’m being a little hypocritical here, because I’m on record as being of the opinion that it’s ridiculous to consider trading Will Smith, who is going to be up for a fat contract soon, and has made noise about it. And surely a PRO BOWL(!!!!) left tackle is more important than a decent, not great, defensive end. Right? He protects Drew’s blind side, for crying out loud!

Maybe. But let me just point out one more time that it’s never that simple. You have to consider the state of our offensive line, and our offense as a whole, versus the state of our defensive line, and our defense as a whole. The offense is in a far better position to bear the brunt of a "one step back" kind of move for the sake of a "two steps forward" move on defense. The opposite isn’t true. Very few seemed to mind letting Faine walk in favor of Goodwin, who is about as "proven" as a starter on the Saints’ offensive line as Zach Strief is. Jermon Bushrod is another potential replacement.

And while I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Strief or Bushrod would be an upgrade over Brown, you can’t tell me that losing Brown instantly sends the left tackle position into the shitter and Drew will be in traction by week 3 either. We all have the same amount of information to judge these guys, and it’s a hell of a lot less information than Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis have.

Jammal Brown might very well be a spare part at this point. Will Smith isn’t, if only because the Saints can’t afford any downgrade on the defensive side of the ball. To the contrary, they still need all the help they can get. If you can take a hit of -2 on the offensive line for a +5 on the defensive line, is that not a net positive? Aren’t net positives what we all want?

I’m all for holding onto your best players, as a general rule. I’m in no hurry to push Brown out the door, and I doubt that the front office is either. But since when did this guy become untradeable? Today, Message Board Guy’s platitude du jour is "You don’t trade a Pro Bowl left tackle!" Funny, because yesterday, Message Board Guy wanted to move Brown back to right tackle.

Hey, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much if you move him back to right tackle, and then trade him. Would that make it a little easier to swallow there, chief? You could even bench Stinchcomb in the process, and how long have you been wanting to do that?

At the risk of coming off like I’m trying to pull stuff out of my ass to justify the move, should it happen, let me just remind you that the Saints would have won last year in week 3 vs. Carolina if a touchdown hadn’t been called back because Brown didn’t line up on the line of scrimmage, after having been warned a few plays earlier that he was gonna get flagged if he didn’t watch it, and it got him benched for a quarter. And a big part of the reason "The Reverse" became "The Reverse" rather than just a harmless brain fart on one play in the midst of a win is because Jammal Brown got absolutely blown up on that play.

None of us know much about the extent to which he’s any kind of "leader" on the field or off, or what his relationship might be to his coaches or teammates, or whether or not he intends to be here when his contract is up. Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis do. And while there’s been little to no indication to those of us on the outside that any of these things are a full-blown issue, or any issue at all, there hasn’t been much indication that any of these things are particularly strong points in his favor either.

He’s just a guy.

One town’s very like another when your head’s down over your pieces, brother.
It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity to be looking at the board, not looking at the city.

Big picture, people. He’s just a guy.

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Whatever happens, it’s gonna be a banner weekend down at the ole Bender household. The WWL stream will fire up somewhere around 9am… or, well, whenever WWL decides to start their coverage. Predictably, as seems to be the case every year, they don’t seem to be all too concerned with actually telling us exactly when that might be.

The ping pong table will be coming out shortly thereafter, and I’ll begin explaining to the neighbors who those dudes are with the crazy accents who are blaring from the wireless speakers. "Well, the hillbilly sounding dude is named Deke, see. The other hillbilly sounding dude is named Hokie. The dude who sounds like the oom-papa-mow-mow guy from the Oak Ridge Boys is Steve Korte. And the one who’s pretty much completely incomprehensible used to be our quarterback. No, I’m serious, that guy used to actually call plays in the huddle."

The aim is to be fully sloshed before it becomes obvious that Hebert is. Which means it’ll be an early morning.

Could be even earlier than that, depending on the menu. I’ve been going back and forth between throwing a big hunk of brisket and a big hunk of pork in the smoker, versus frying up some catfish, shrimp, oysters, onion rings, hushpuppies and whatever else might taste good dipped in hot oil. Might be a gametime decision.

Regardless, there will be plenty of Chelada™ in the ice chest and Kiper wigs for one and all.

Sometime between about 3:30 and next April, the Saints ought to be making their first selection. Mike Detillier, among others, seems to think that Sean Payton is gonna pack a Hawaiian shit and fake dreads in preparation to make a strong push for Dorsey. Others seem to think that a cheaper trade up for Ellis would be more prudent. Still others advocate trading down with Philly at 19 for Lito Sheppard. Others want the trade down, but for the purpose of stockpiling picks so that we’ll have a bunch of experienced guys on special teams in 2012. (Yay?)

Personally, I think Coach oughta rock the shirt and dreads regardless. But the common thread among all those scenarios is that Message Board Guy knows exactly which one should happen, and which one will happen. And he’s full of shit on both accounts.

Me? I’m gonna be too sloshed to be anything but happy about whatever happens.

If they trade up for Dorsey, it probably means they’re going all in to by God bring home a damned Lombardi before Fox inevitably decides to start airing American Idol from noon to 8pm each Sunday, which of course would bankrupt the league. Been to a mall lately?

If they trade up for Ellis, the same conclusion about their intentions applies. We here at moosedenied steadfastly support that attitude, given the current circumstances. To hell with the future (for now), win a championship and then worry about 2012. If it doesn’t happen, then at least you took your shot.

We wouldn’t be so eager to "mortgage the future" if we were taking about Keith Poole, Brett Bech, Troy Davis, Wilmont Perry, Pio Sagapolutele, Ink Aleaga, Heath Shuler, Danny Abramowicz and that whole cabal. Fortunately for us, we’re not. Right now, for the time being, we can call them contenders with a straight face. The guy who’s not willing to "mortgage the future" under the current circumstances is the guy who never moves out of his $500 one bedroom apartment, opting instead to leave his 1978 Datsun and fat savings account to…. well, nobody. If not now, when? Take your shot or die not-really-trying.

For all practical purposes, trading down for Sheppard probably puts to a merciful end The Jason David Experience. We’re on record as at least entertaining the notion that David might, just might, not be quite as bad in 2008 as he was in 2007. And that’s all fine and good. Furthermore, Sheppard’s no Champ Bailey.

But on the other hand, five months later, it seems like a lot of people have begun to let themselves forget just how bad David was last year. There’s been a lot of talk about how maybe the root of the problem was the safeties, or the pass rush, or Gary Gibbs. And there’s probably some truth in there somewhere.

But regardless of anything else that might have contributed to it, David wasn’t just bad. He wasn’t just very bad. He was historically bad. All-time bad. Epic failure. It’s one thing to hope he’ll recover, it’s one thing to give him every opportunity to recover. We support that. But it’s a whole different thing to depend on it. The Saints have already proven that they’re not depending on it. Trading for Sheppard just reinforces that, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Drafting a corner at 10 might net greater rewards in 2012, but screw 2012.

And then there’s the big white guy with the (formerly) long blond hippie hair. Might as well petition the league now to put #68 on him, because if he ends up on the Saints roster, for better or worse, it seems that Message Board Guy just can’t get past the skin tone, the hair, the big mouth and the "ey" on the end of his last name. I’m sure he’ll be tossing Jets helmets around and complaining about the postgame buffet in short order.

moosedenied is still on the fence about Shockey. On the plus side, we’d really dig the opportunity to refer to him as "One In The Stink" for the next several years. And though Message Board Guy will insist that it’s only because of our black & gold glasses that blind us to the horrible truth, we maintain our strong confidence in Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis. It’s a good thing our black & gold glasses haven’t blinded us to the fact that Message Board Guy is a perpetually-miserable asshole who is full of shit and doesn’t know half of what he constantly insists that he does.

On the other hand, we still can’t shake the nagging thought that Shockey is yet another offensive luxury acquisition for a team that needs to fix the leaks in the roof before it lays down brand new expensive carpet.

Still, maybe we’re just pie-in-the-sky saps, but all of these scenarios carry their own appeal. Come out of this draft with a corner, tight end and middle linebacker who have each been to Pro Bowls, rather than an assload of rookies, and is that really cause to pitch a hissy fit?

The answer is no. But of course, there’s almost never any good cause to pitch a hissy fit. Fortunately for Message Board Guy, he doesn’t quibble over trivial matters like cause.

Meantime, you might wanna go ahead and brace yourselves if you’re planning on coming back to this here blog after the draft. Because we can just about assure you that we’ll be cheerleading for whatever scenario ends up playing itself out.

And we’re probably gonna go ahead and do one of those guest commentary posts that we gave up on after last preseason too. So if you happen to find yourself on the internet on draft day, perhaps on a message board, feel free to drop by and sling some comedy around instead of, or before, gouging your eyes out with an icepick.

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The tightrope between being maudlin and being glib is particularly tough to navigate. Fall to either side and you’re unwittingly being unbelievably disrespectful. Then you proofread what you’ve just written, and you wonder if you’re being an even bigger asshole for coming off like it’s all about you. So I promise, I’m gonna shut the hell up about it here pretty soon.

But before I do, I’ve got one more thing to say about it. I’ve been thinking about how poetic and heartlifting it is to realize that, as it turns out, the road to Shambhala begins at the ass end of the infamous Blues Highway right smack dab in Fuckmook City. I mean, how could I not have realized that before? How could it be anywhere else? Just add it to the list of ways Ashley has smartened me up over the last few years. It makes me smile to think he’ll probably see fit to make a quick stop at 5800 Airline for a few minutes along the way to straighten some mooks out and point them in the right direction. Rock on, Ash. Rock on. For those of you who have been affected by his passing far more than I could ever even fathom, you remain in our thoughts. We know that you’ll find peace in one another, and in Ashley’s continuing presence in your lives. And with that, I wish Ashley godspeed and hereby shut up about it, hoping that my words didn’t come off as too presumptuous and self-indulgent.

So… less than two weeks til the draft and, maybe it’s just me, but things seem even crazier than normal this year. Strange days indeed. Most peculiar, mama.

Jeremy Shockey? Really? No, I’m serious, really? Apparently. BBQ Man says so.

See, here’s the thing about the BBQ man though… it’s not nearly as easy to blow off Jim Ross as it would be to blow off somebody like Kenny Wilkerson or Pete Finney. Unfortunately, supporting this position requires that I reveal the fact that I know way more than I like to admit about Jim Ross and his particular line of work. Ross may have made his money in the business of professional rasslin, but regardless of anyone’s personal opinion of the merits of that business, the fact remains that the man is a player. He’s richer than Finney, more famous than Wilkerson, and more connected to Oklahoma sports than Gerry Valliancourt.

In summary, Ross’ information on this particular issue carries more credibility than the other three combined. Shockey is from Ada, Oklahoma. He’s apparently a fan of "sports entertainment." Ross is the biggest Oklahoma homer on the planet, a distinction that he wears like a badge of honor. One has to wonder who was the more starstruck when the two first met. If Ross says there’s something cooking here, then there’s most certainly something in the pot.

The question isn’t whether or not the rumor has merit, the question is whether or not we want the Saints to get the deal done. I’m on the fence on that. But, predictably, Shawn over at Saintsreport makes the most convincing case for it that I’ve seen so far…

I could make an argument that the Saints could trade away almost all of their picks this year, on the premise that by acquiring established players, they have a team that is ready to win now. If we could trade our top pick for some other picks, then trade those picks and acquire Roy Williams, Shockey and Albert Haynesworth (very unlikely, but suppose we were able to do it)…would it really be such a bad thing? All of those players would fill a need, and all of them are game-changing players.

If all three played up to our highest expectations, I don’t see any way on earth we could ever get comparable players in the draft. And with free agency the way it is, there’s no more guarantee that players we draft will be here in 4 years.

Word. Mortgaging your future is considered (by laypeople) to be an objectionable practice in sports. And for the most part, they’re right. But is it any less objectionable for a singleminded focus on several years hence to allow present opportunities to pass by squandered?

It could be argued that we’ve already seen this movie play out, back when Jim Finks "did the right thing for the future" by going out and getting Steve Walsh, rather than swallowing hard and taking the best shot he’d ever get at a Black & Gold Super Bowl by giving Hebert "more than he’s worth."

Picking your shots works both ways, and the future is no more valuable than the present. If not now, when?

On the other hand, if you’re taking your shot, as one can only hope is the prevailing attitude down on Airline right at the moment, is Shockey the guy you wanna take your shot with? Is that guy worth the mortgage payments? This is the question I’ve been grappling with.

Forget the "attitude" issues. In all but the most extreme cases, that’s largely irrelevant. It takes a spectacular asshole to "divide a lockerroom" or to be a legitimate "cancer" to the team. And even then, he’s usually just the fuse. If there’s no dynamite hidden behind that lemon-shaped rock, then how much harm could he do?

In fact, it could be argued that Shockey’s perceived attitude actually carries value in itself. I don’t subscribe to the "one bad apple can ruin the whole bunch" point of view. These are grown men. Jeremy Shockey is not going to turn Drew Brees or Big Number Twelve or the Asian Assassin into some kind of asshole.

But what a loose cannon can do is galvanize the already steely character we’d all like to think this team already possesses… one way or the other. He either assimilates or gets kicked to the curb to the dulcet tone of thunderous applause, assuming we fans have a reasonably accurate feel for the character of this team in the first place.

Otherwise, if it turns out that there is in fact a bundle of TNT hidden somewhere beneath the surface, and Shockey detonates it… well… isn’t it better that it happens now, rather than four more wasted years down the line?

Meantime, surely we all agree that the former is more likely than the latter. And all indications so far are that we’re right. So what’s the downside?

Well, the downside is yet more resources being invested in an already top 3 or 4 offense (in what appears to have been an off year) at the expense of a bottom 3 or 4 defense. This despite the upside we here at moosedenied continue to insist still exists in Eric Johnson.

It’s all about bang for the buck. Does Shockey bring the bang? I could be persuaded either way. So hit me with some of that crystal blue persuasion, why don’t ya?

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Tomorrow, April 9, is CSS Naked Day.

It’s at times like this, when great heaven knows
That we wish our styles had not so much code
So let’s loosen up with a playful tease
Like all bloggers did through the centuries

Everybody knows that content is king. But CSS has to rank right up there as at least a duke. Perhaps a lord of some sort. Regardless, a sweet pile of CSS can embiggen the smallest of bloggers. So let’s tip our caps to the goodness of standards-compliant prettification by streaking through the blogosphere for a day, whadd’ya say? Show off your <body>. It’s a perfectly cromulent thing to do.

Super duper easy to follow directions for several different blogging platforms can be found at the link above. But basically what it boils down to is unbuttoning that stylesheet and leaving it right where it falls. We here at moosedenied assure you that we’ll still respect you in the morning.

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Rest in peace, Dr. Morris.

FYYFF | FYYFF II | Sinn Fein | Sinn Fein II | American Biafra

There will never be another like you.

"It has to happen to the best of us
The rich folks suffer like the rest of us
It’ll happen to you"

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Trading Smith right now is, of course, a mindbogglingly stupid idea. He’s under contract for 2008 and 2009, and you could easily franchise him for 2010 if need be, so it’s not like the Saints are "about to let him walk for nothing" any time soon. And if he eventually leaves in free agency, then so be it. Contrary to popular opinion, the Saints wouldn’t be losing him "for nothing" because retaining his services for those other two or three years is valuable in and of itself.

Look, it’s perfectly reasonable to have been disappointed in the overall performance of the ends last year, but it’s ridiculous to consider replacing either one, given the current circumstances, no matter how much (specious) foresight a move like that might seem to display.

Even more ridiculous is the suddenly popular "strategy" of taking a guy you have no use for because all the pundits seem to agree that he should have gone higher, only to "hold him for ransom" until some other poor schmuck offers you his entire draft for the rights to the guy. Which is kind of like saying a gift certificate is more valuable than an equal amount of cash.

It just doesn’t work that way. The unused pick always has more value than a player selected with that pick. The player is a gift certificate. The pick is cash. The only reason you’d ever want to pick a guy specifically to trade him to a team below you is if you’ve already worked out two trades and one or the other is 100% sure to happen.

Let’s assume you’re trading down from 10 to 15, and the team at 15 had two third rounders. You agree with the team at 15 that if "your guy" is still on the board, you’ll take the lower third rounder. But if somebody else scoops him, you’ll get the higher third rounder. But either way, "their guy" is available at 10 and in order to get the trade done, you have to take their guy and then wait until 15 to finalize the compensation. Perfectly reasonable, and occasionally necessary.

But that’s far different from picking a guy in the hope that some chump GM will soil his pants and offer you whatever you want for the guy. Fans love to think that their GM bent some other GM over. This is the 21st century American "anybody with balls can earn a living playing poker" mentality. They want their guy to "win the poker game" and "force" the other guy into a lopsided deal in your guy’s favor. Lots of people like to point to the Eli Manning situation as an example of San Diego doing that to the Giants. By selecting Manning first, San Diego "called the Giants’ bluff" and forced the deal on their terms. Right?

Wrong. San Diego called Manning’s bluff. San Diego made that pick knowing that there wasn’t a chance in hell that Manning would actually hold out the entire year and go back into the draft. But everybody knew that. Make no mistake, had the trade never materialized, Eli would have been the Chargers’ starting QB. That’s why it worked. Because San Diego wanted a QB regardless, and they didn’t care if it took Eli some time to get over himself and learn to deal with it. If they could get Rivers and a shit ton of lagniappe from the Giants instead, well that would be fine too.

It took a very, very specific and uncommon set of circumstances for that deal to have gone down the way it did. And in the end, both teams are happy they made the deal. Nobody bent anybody over. And it certainly isn’t any kind of blueprint for how to "force" some other GM to pay your price.

Say Matt Ryan falls to 10 for some reason. Message Board Guy would tell you that you shop around for a trade down and demand a king’s ransom from anybody who nibbles. Then you take Ryan, and now that you’ve "got them over a barrel" you demand 50% more than the previous best offer. Problem with that is that you have no use for Ryan. So you don’t have anybody over a barrel, you’ve just put yourself over a barrel. You’ve squandered any leverage you had because you’ve just exchanged $100 cash for a $100 gift certificate at a store that doesn’t sell anything you want. It’s an ass-backwards way of handling your assets.

Wait, was this supposed to be about defensive linemen? Shit.

In 2006, the Saints were 23rd in the NFL in rushing defense. Last year, the Saints were able to improve a full ten spots to 13th in the NFL. And contrary to popular opinion, it wasn’t because teams just threw on us all day. I mean, they did that too, but not at the expense of rushing attempts. Opponents only rushed on the Saints 10 fewer times last year.

Meantime, the Saints were 3rd in the NFL in pass defense in 2006, added two new corners (and tried to add a third, but he didn’t stick) and dropped all the way to 30th last year.

So why on earth should the Saints take a defensive lineman over a defensive back?

There are plenty of reasons. But let’s start here: Statistically, somewhere around half of the Saints’ "improvement" in the run defense can be directly attributed to the absence of Ron Mexico. Not that Ron is coming back anytime soon, but the point is that half the improvement came pretty much by default. It wasn’t so much about anything they did, it was more about something Michael Vick did to a bunch of dogs. The run defense wasn’t nearly as improved as it looked last year. They just had a very specific thorn removed from their side.

The other half? Consider that while everybody’s pissed at Fresh Prince for dwindling sack totals, he did set a career high in tackles last year. Meantime Shanle’s total tackles dropped precipitously from his career year in 2006. In 2006, a big part of the problem with the run defense was due to backs running right past Will Smith. Last year, Smith was making those tackles far closer to the line of scrimmage than Shanle was the previous year.

But that comes at a cost. Specifically, putting shackles on Smith. If you want to be able to turn Smith loose to go after the quarterback, you have to make sure that you’re not gonna get gashed for 20 yards on a draw off left tackle on 3rd and 8. And you have to give him help by collapsing the middle of the pocket. And you have to keep the run defense from reverting to its shitty 2006 ways to create the pin-your-ears-back down and distance situations in the first place.

This is what I really like about the way the Saints’ player personnel department has been working lately. For so long, the Saints played whack-a-mole with personnel. Wait until one unit goes right down the toilet, then attempt to address it… maybe. Since Coach Payton came to town, it doesn’t seem like they’re one step behind anymore. Disqualify Bush if you must, because "they had to take him." I don’t disagree, but look at Roman Harper in the 2nd. Bellamy was still kinda holding his own, but there was no upside with Bellamy. He was on the back end of his career, and he wasn’t gonna get any better. But he could have hit the wall at any moment. Ditto Fred Thomas. Statistically, the pass defense looked alright, but to a large extent it was a mirage, and it certainly wasn’t gonna get any better with Fred. So sign a corner and draft two others. Ditto Hollywood.

Of course, the other side of that coin is that you could argue that none of David, Usama, Harper and Meachem have done much to help those situations (yet.) But you don’t abandon sound strategy because the execution has been lacking.

The same strategy should apply to defensive tackle. The run defense looked fine on the stat sheet last year, but a large part of that is a mirage, and it sure as hell isn’t gonna get any better with the current personnel. Hollis Thomas is 34 years old, asthmatic, and I’m pretty sure that his blood is composed of 74.9% sausage gravy. Brian Young is 30 and has been trending downward ever since he arrived. Kendrick Clancy? Antwan Lake? McKinley Boykin? Orien Harris? That’s like rolling with Dante Ridgeway as your 3rd wideout. Or Joe Horn.

The downside of going DT in the first round is that you’ll probably have to trade up for one of the two elite DTs. And the last time the Saints traded up for a DT, it was Jonathan Sullivan, therefore OMG THE SAINTS SHOULD NEVER TRADE UP FOR A DT EVER AGAIN!!!!! On the other hand, if you can’t trade up or aren’t willing to pay the price to trade up, the second tier of DTs all seem to be an OMGREACH!!!! at the 10th pick. And there seem to be a handful of second round DT options. So Occam’s Razor would suggest that a DT in the first is unlikely.

The First Round Candidates

• Glenn Dorsey (LSU)
  • Pros: Not a single ounce of Jonathan Sullivan in him. Work ethic is particularly important when it comes to the big fat guys doing the grunt work inside. Dominated at the highest levels of college football. Knows what he’s doing, not a whole lot of coaching up required and could hit the ground running from day one. Would be absolutely HILARIOUS to see the heads exploding on message boards after the Saints not only trade up… not only trade up for a DT… but trade up for a DT that’s also an OMGHOMERPICK!!!!!! There’s just not a whole lot in this world that’s better than watching the LSU-hater faction of internet Saints fans squirm and bitch and moan as LSU/Saints fans dance a pantsless jig. Again. For about the hundredth time so far this decade.
  • Cons: Unless Sean Payton is willing to wear a Hawaiian shirt and fake dreads to the festivities and give up the better part of two draft classes to move up, chances are it’s a pipe dream. Atlanta is probably gonna take him at 3, and even if you’re willing to trade up that high, there’s very little chance you’re gonna be able to do it with the Falcons. Like any management position, there’s a significant cover your ass factor that goes along with being a GM. Atlanta’s GM would be hearing "How could you let the Saints have Dorsey?" and Loomis would be hearing "How could you give up that much to the Falcons?" If by some chance Dorsey falls past the Falcons, it’s probably only gonna get harder to find a partner to trade up with as his perceived "value" rises the farther he drops. Seems most people are willing to look past the injury concerns, but I’m not. Sure, the guy is a warrior, and that’s great. But I don’t look at his history of playing through pain as an indication that he’ll be able to do that indefinitely. Rather, I look at it as "the clock is ticking." And wouldn’t it be just soooo Saints to draft a guy with Hall Of Fame talent, the Heart Of A Champion™, everything you could possibly want in a player, at a position of great need, and have his knee explode three seconds after he deposits his billion dollar rookie signing bonus?
• Sedrick Ellis (Southern Cal)
  • Pros: Probably every bit as good as Dorsey, for most of the same reasons.
  • Cons: Fuck USC.

Ideally, one of these two guys falls to 10 and Coach Payton agrees to pose for a Sports Illustrated cover in a wedding dress. On the other hand, word on the street is that SI no longer takes calls from the Saints after Jim Haslett pitched a beach-themed cover shot of himself in a banana hammock and Jonathan Sullivan in a string bikini.

(Oh you’re damn right that pic will eventually end up plastered somewhere on this here blog. Just when you least expect it….)

Realistically, the Saints are probably boned for the time being as far as defensive tackle is concerned. North Carolina’s Kentwan Balmer could end up a first round pick too, which at first glance could be great. Trade down with somebody and then take Balmer lower than 10th while reaping the lagniappe. Everybody wins, right? Right. Except that Balmer has Sullivan written all over him. Not physically, but in a "I done got paid, why the fuck should I listen to you, coach?" kind of way.

Meantime, there are some decent, not great, options in the second round. So you could always go that route, although each of your second round options come with their own personal downsides… mainly questions as to whether or not they’re thugs, and/or questions as to whether or not they’ll give a shit once they get their money. You’ve gotta figure that the Saints want no part of either.

moosedenied’s official position is that the best fit for this team in the first round of this particular draft is Ellis. The only question is the price of trading up to get him. Dorsey will be too expensive, if not impossible (pending Atlanta) to get. And while guys like Balmer, Trevor Laws, Pat Sims, Dre Moore and others are worthy of later picks, each carries a significant Sullivanesque bust factor, and none can be counted on to provide a significant positive impact this fall. Our position is that an elite rookie DT can provide the impact the Saints need on defense, both short-term and long-term. Ellis is probably the more realistic option, and quite frankly, probably the better option vs. Dorsey, all things considered.

Next up, unless I change my mind, the linebackers. Otherwise known as "More than you ever wanted to read about Keith Rivers."

Want a DT? Who you got? (That’s my way of saying "Leave a football related comment for once, asshole! Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you, Falco lyrics research boy!" )

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