There is a god after all.We’ve been telling you folks for quite some time that, quite frankly, we here at moosedenied are… well… we’re big shots. And up until (and including) this very moment, it’s all been LIES! Damnable lies.

The truth is, we’ve never shared a single deep dish with Dulymus. We do not get text messages at 3am from Reginald Alfred. We have never listened in on a conference call among Sean Payton, Les Miles, Jim Haslett, Nick Saban and Pete Carroll. We’re not even really sure why we refer to ourselves as "we."

We do have a bucket full of $200 ties, a few of which Lou Dobbs also wears, which is pretty bitchin’. We also do actually wear a top hat and monocle when we blog. Of course, none of that is really true either.

We know it must be shocking and disheartening to learn the truth. And for that, I’m sorry. Nope, just a jackass with a blog. A blog that’s been dormant for three weeks, in fact. Damn, actually when you think about it, we kinda suck. But I’ll be damned if we’re not just about to make up for it all.

Jim Ross:
Wait a minute… King… I think that’s… it think it’s… my God! THAT’S JIM HENDERSON’S MUSIC!

That’s right, bitches. If any of you require any equipment or accoutrements in order properly venerate, you best start gathering them up and calibrating them to maximum performance. Because unless I’m getting played like a chump, your knob is about to be fully hobbed. The venerable voice of the Saints, the Ric Flair of New Orleans Sports Media, is going slumming at this here illegitimate media outlet. He’s gonna be pissed when he finds out this party is BYOB.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Henderson never, ever pays for a drink as long as we have anything to say about it.

If you’re scoring at home, that’s NolaChick 2 (Dulymus, Vilma) – Gee Dubya 1. Heh. But I’m about thiiiiiiis close to booking Pio Sagapolutele, so… um… yeah.

So here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to set aside the usual jackassery for a while, and temporarily opt for mere tomfoolery. Oh, Jim Henderson is no tomfool. But he knows what he’s walking into.

We’ll be collecting questions for some indeterminate amount of time. Use the contact form, or email them to [gw at this here domain dot somethingsomething] or if you suck at the internet, just post ‘em in the comments. We’ll put on our aggregation helmets, aggregate like nobody’s bidness, and then send them to Henderson. We’ll post the replies at his leisure.

Make ‘em good, put some elbow grease into it (or grease from some other joint of your choosing.) We promised him that we wouldn’t bore him with the same ole run of the mill fan questions he’s already answered a million times. He’ll answer the good ones and roll his eyes at the rest. See, don’t be that guy. Don’t be the guy Jim freakin’ Henderson owns with his eyes, and his ability to roll them in your general direction. Let’s have ourselves some fun with it. Maybe Henderson will think we’re fucking awesome. Or something.

—

Meantime, is Charles Grant gonna have to choke a bitch? Let’s hope not. That’s really more of a Wayne Brady thing anyway. They say you could indict a ham sandwich. Here’s hoping Chuck is in less real trouble than the aforementioned theoretical pork-based treat facing a grand jury. Which isn’t to make light of a real-life situation that is not the least bit light. We’re well aware of the fact that people died. It’s in no way "no big deal." It’s a bonafide damn shame. But hey, this here is a Saints blog. We’ll leave the handwringing and moralizing over real-life tragedies ripped from the headlines to general-purpose current events themed message boards.

In other news, our other formerly fully-gruntled defensive end seems to have settled snugly into his seat for the long trip ahead on the midnight train to Darrenhowardsville. Lovely. Moosedenied tried to contact Will for comment, but we must have been misinformed when we were told that he was conducting his offseason training at his uncle’s house in Bel Air. We did speak with Carlton though, and he’s cool with Drew. He told us he’d see if Drew can get us in touch with Will, and we’ve been holding our breath whilst waiting in the general vicinity of the phone. So far, all we’ve got are about 1000 missed calls from Rickey Schroeder and Joel Higgins. But do we get one call from Erin Gray? Just one fucking call???? Noooooooo. Thanks a lot, Ribiero.

So hey, what was your favorite moment of The Dan Morgan Era?

The Old Man bought WVUE. Sweet. BRING BACK MARGARET DUBUISSON!!!!!

Coach Payton has established himself a charitable organization. One of our former coaches used to have himself a charitable organization too. He called it "Boning Fat Chicks" Real gem that guy was.

And we leave you today with this. Here’s the picture in the header portion of the Saints’ official site… right this minute:

NTTAWWT

Jerry:
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Questions for Henderson, dammit! Do it. Do it now.

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