Aug
18
Guest Color Commentary: Saints vs. Bengals
I’ve got a rock’n syndrome, and the only prescription is more shakuhachi flute.
It’s Matt Baker Time, bitches!
In other news, Kenny Chesney begins serving a four-game suspension for wearing a non-league sanctioned 6-pound belt buckle, and taping over his name on the back of his jersey and writing “Minnie Pearl” in its place.
Fortunately, Chesney was allowed to give the team the now-commonplace celebrity motivational pep talk. The theme was lucrative post-NFL career opportunities, with Chesney suggesting that the players use their free time now to write a catalog of mindlessly-patriotic ballads for future release, and getting to know Sean Hannity asap.
Game commentary follows, theoretically…
34 Comments
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August 18th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Kenny Chesney really loves America and his music protects our freedom from those who hate our American God and fruited plains and such. And I love the Catholicism the Saints bring to the table.
But on the other hand, I really love Cincinnati cops. Especially the SWAT team. And Cincinnati is far closer to the home state of my good friend Rick Santorum. I’m going with the Bengals.
August 18th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Check your local listings.
Check your local listings.
Check your local listings.
Check your local listings.
Check your local listings.
Yes, he killed some dogs.
Check your local listings.
Check your local listings.
OMG Vick is a creep.
Yes, I have seen that commercial with Colston.
Check your local listings.
A print Saints magazine is a horrible idea which will bankrupt you.
Check your local listings.
That web stream does not have the express written consent of the NFL, and probably will not work.
Check your local listings.
I will not be buying any oh-so-clever anti-Vick merchandise, but thanks for the heads up.
Check your local listings.
August 18th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
What’s up fellas? You may remember me from such seasons as 2002. 12 runs for 19 yards bitches! Hold on a second, a customer just drove up. BRB
August 18th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Welcome to Cincinnati everybody. Hey, how did that whole Brooks thing work out?
August 18th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
How’s been your career since I put a little hot sauce on your knee, Jeff?
August 18th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Martin just tossed an INT, cut him! OMGlolol1111lll
August 18th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
August 18th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Sounding natural while reading from a script to open the pregame show is not my strong suit. But they won’t let me start drinking until I read it. Fuck.
August 18th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
We’re back, bitches.
August 18th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Chuck Motherfucking Norris wishes he was me.
August 18th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
First quarter comment:
DEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCEEEEE!!!!!!
August 18th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Stop stroking it to my picture already.
August 18th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Olindo Mare fears Skyler Green.
August 18th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
I always go no-huddle when cornholing.
August 18th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Eat that, Haslett!
August 18th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
George Voinovich doesn’t care about black people.
August 18th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
It’s Jamie Martin time! Can you feel the excitement?
August 18th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
I’m thankful for the opportunity to show my mettle.
/rimshot
August 18th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Woo! Nice thumbs, son.
August 18th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
My secret weapon is two first names.
August 18th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
August 18th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Do you want fries with that?
August 18th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Fartin’ Martin’ to Stecker the Pecker!
August 18th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
My leg hurts.
August 18th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
fuck all of y’all
August 19th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Back-ups should be just as good if not better than the starters. Let’s start Jaime Martin.
LOUD NOISES!!!!
August 19th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Oops, my bad, this is my *real* name.
August 19th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
I just watched Rudi Johnson, Chad Johnson, Chris Perry, Willie Anderson, Skyler Green, and Deltha O’Neal put a beatdown on Mark Campbell. I’ve never seen Drew Brees, Mike Karney, Ben Archibald, Jon Stinchcomb, Bryan Young, and Scott Shanle put a beatdown on Keiwan Ratliff. :huh:
August 20th, 2007 at 10:35 am
This just in: Ickey Woods just scored on our 4th stringers, tried to do his celebratory shuffle, and tore his ACL.
August 20th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Coonass pussies
August 20th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
If anyone sees Vince Young please tell him I have his trophy that I need to return to him :huh:
August 20th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Dat be harsh
August 20th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
I think I should design the Bengals uniforms. White belts, white shoes, orange and black plaid pants.
August 21st, 2007 at 9:44 am
“Martin just tossed an INT, cut him! OMGlolol1111lll”
I am so glad that Jamie didn’t actually throw an INT. Because then, we’d be having to endure all these rabid-assed knee jerk calls on the board for him to be tossed on his ass.