It’s been a hell of a strange week-before-kickoff this year, and to be honest, it’s been difficult to get as fired up as usual here at the ole Bender household.

Gustav may not have turned out to be "the mother of all storms" (thankfully) but it sure was (and is) the mother of all distractions.

Visiting evacuees, nonstop WDSU hurricane coverage (thanks DirecTV), the GOP convention, a total lack of Sportstalk this week on WWL and Times-Picayune print coverage, all on top of what was already a busy week to begin with, have put quite the kibbosh on the crescendo of excitement and general-purpose mojo typical of the week before kickoff, even for an expat such as myself whose Gus-based ass pain has been comparatively negligible.

And Hanna has her sights set on the worldwide headquarters of Moosedenied Media & Pork Partners, LLC Friday night/Saturday morning. Which wouldn’t even give me the slightest of pause if it weren’t for the potential impact on the steady flow of electricity to my tee vee and/or broadcast signal to my dish. The hope is that it will be moistening New Englanders by 1:00 Sunday. The catfish and an assortment of grain squeezins have already been secured, and as long as there’s nothing standing between me and a glorious 1080i 720p (stupid FOX) picture, nobody will get punched in the face.

Meantime, fortunately there’s still a couple of days to catch up on the late-starting week 1 buildup. The announcement that it’s going off as scheduled in the Dome was a damn fine start. It would further help if one of our intrepid readers has a particularly kickass recipe for a remoulade sauce that he or she would be willing to share. (Really, remoulade sauce with fried catfish? Hell and yes, bitches.)

Unfortunately, the Saints themselves haven’t been much help this week. Jason David stays, Taylor Mehlhaff goes. The whole damn system is out of order! The Jason David thing wouldn’t even really bother me all that much, assuming Tracy Porter has in fact assumed the starting gig and most of David’s remaining time will be spent picking splinters out of his ass. Carrying seven corners is weird, but no weirder than carrying two kickers or five tight ends. Weird positional breakdowns seem to just come with the job of being a Saints fan these days.

But the kicker situation is just mindboggling. Especially considering that there doesn’t seem to be any indication that the Saints even tried to sign Mehlhaff to the practice squad. Message Board Guy has been characterizing it as "another wasted pick" which of course he knew all along that it would be. I say Message Board Guy is full of shit, as usual. It wasn’t the pick that was a waste. The waste was the cut.

It’s a textbook example of specious reasoning based on a small sample of data, and it hit ‘em from both directions.

Marteen is not good. He’s just not. I don’t care that he’s been OMGPERFECT since he’s been a Saint. Big freakin’ deal. The four years before he became a Saint trump 5 kicks late last year and another 4 in the preseason. This tiny little goofball was good for 61.5% in 2003 and 57.9% in 2004, which was the last time he was a team’s full-time kicker. That’s Olindo Mare bad. Since when is a string of 5 kicks over 3 real games enough to trump that?

Taylor Mehlhaff missed one stinkin’ kick. One. Yeah, he shanked a couple of kickoffs too. It wasn’t enough to make his average drop below Marteen’s, but it was enough to get him tagged with the dreaded "inconsistent" label. Nevermind that Mehlhaff was a career 76.9% in college, which is better than Marteen’s career average, and a hell of a lot better than Marteen was over his last two years as a full-time kicker.

I can only guess that the assumption is that Marteen won’t ever miss a field goal attempt ever again. Which is about as stupid an assumption as I can think of. Apparently, all that counts is his 5 kicks in a Saints uniform. Nevermind the big picture. Marteen put on the black and gold and all of a sudden he’s Lou Fuckin’ Groza, right? He "earned it" right? He "beat out" the rookie, right? Bullshit.

It wasn’t even a level playing field "competition" in the first place. The preseason attempts stats clearly indicate that Mehlhaff was really only "competing" for a roster spot as the "kickoff specialist" anyway. All indications are that Mehlhaff was never really even being considered as the team’s sole kicker. The best he could do was to convince Sean Payton to carry two kickers again, which no coach in his right mind ever does by choice. Mehlhaff was screwed right from the start.

The worst part is that it’s just a matter of time until Marteen turns (back) into Olindo Mare. And it’s gonna happen soon.

For the very team who had to endure the Olindo Mare Experience in the first place to hitch their wagon to another Olindo Mare, "wasting" a draft pick in the process, and then to not even keep the better kicker they just released as a practice squad Plan B just defies all logic and good sense. And it’s going to bite them in the ass sooner than later.

Damn it pisses me off.

But on the bright side, at least Jason David was able to keep a spot on the roster based on a couple of plays against the worst team in the NFL’s third stringers in the fourth preseason game. High five!

Guh.

This is The Year though, right? RIGHT? And it starts this weekend. For real this time. You’ll have to pardon me for half-assing it, I just haven’t been able to get my mind right just yet. That, and the other half of my ass tweaked a hammy a few days ago. But there’s no structural damage, and we’re taking it day to day. It ought to be back on the practice field shortly.

Meantime…

Prediction: Jon Gruden makes an inexplicable call for a reverse late in the 4th quarter. Earnest Graham makes a crappy pitch to Joey Galloway, which Galloway fumbles. Fresh Prince recovers at the Bucs’ 37 and Big Number Twelve scores the winning touchdown as time expires. Saints 27, Bucs 23