Thanks for everything, Gregg. Especially 2009. Now get the fuck out.

Think we have enough time to get a "Spagheads" movement going by September?

Now that we've gotten our little post-season pep talk out of the way, the time has come to vent. To sling around some of that sweet, sweet blame. Unfortunately, Gregg beat us to the punch and bolted before our angry mob was able to get to him and tie him down so that we could ride him out of town on a rail. Damn the luck! I'll take it though. Three years was plenty, thank you very much. Enjoy the ring, Gregg. You earned it. But I agree with you, it's time for a change. Thanks for saving Coach Payton the trouble of having to do it himself.

I'm gonna try to refrain from bashing Gregg on the way out the door. Mostly because, by golly, I still like the guy. A lot. Wouldn't trade the last three seasons for the world. I honestly believe that without Gregg Williams, we'd all still be waiting for the Saints to win a Championship. (High five!)

He was always good for a quote, a sound bite, an incredibly humorous animated gif or Photoshop job, etc. etc. etc. He was our very own little taste of Buddy Ryan, Rex Ryan, Rob Ryan, Meg Ryan, take your pick. He was bombastic, he spoke his mind and rarely spewed meaningless coachspeak at us. He was balls-out, all the time. At times he could be a bit of a goofball. In short, he was a hell of a lot of fun. And hey, that's what we're all in this for, right? The fun?

Hell, the man coined the term "No-Catching Motherfucker(s)" for crying out loud! And dropped it on us on national tee vee! If for no other reason than that, we should all carve out a permanent spot in our cold, black hearts for him.

But most of all? He wasn't Gary Gibbs.

He was clearly the best, or at least most accomplished, available DC candidate at the time, and getting him was nothing short of a coup. He helped to transform what had been an utterly anemic (damn near hopeless) defense into something we could occasionally be proud of. A little, anyway. Every now and then.

So hey, good on ya, Gregg. And best of luck. I think eventually we'll all be able to look back and honestly say that it was more good than bad. By a lot. And that qualifies as a bona fide smashing success as far as I'm concerned. We'll always have 2009.

But, yeah, three years is enough. It had become increasingly evident throughout 2011 that the whole thing had gotten pretty stale. And your résumé would seem to suggest that 3 or 4 years is about your typical shelf life in one place. I suspect you're keenly aware of that, and while we're all aware of the fact that Fisher is your boy and that's a big part of why you moved on, I'm betting that your time with the Saints having pretty much reached its expiration date was a factor as well. And kudos to you for being self-aware enough to get that.

You're a good dude, Gregg. Hopefully you'll pardon us for the enthusiasm with which we're all embracing this opportunity for change. It's just time. That's all. Now please try not to take the rest of this here post personally…

Our first order of business today is to address all this contrarian Message Board Guy bullshit about how the defense wasn't to blame for the loss at San Francisco. That the five(!!!) giveaways between the offense and special teams combined put the defense in an impossible situation. That the defense did as good a job under those circumstances as could reasonably have been expected, if not even better, and were the reason the Saints had a chance to win it in the end in the first place. After all, if not for the defense, the Saints would have been getting blown out at halftime. Right? And if not for San Francisco's 13 points off turnovers…

"TWO INTERCEPTIONS! HOW COME NOBODY EVER BLAMES DREW AND THE OFFENSE?!?!?"

Sigh. Eat a dick, Message Board Guy. Know why "nobody ever blames" Drew? Because he's been kicking historic amounts of ass for six fucking years running. Because despite everything, the offense still managed to put up 32 points on San Francisco's defense, who hadn't allowed 30+ points all season. Because despite everything, they took the lead TWICE(!!!) in the last 4 minutes. Because the offense carries this team pretty much every week, and Saturday was no different.

Because those five turnovers were rendered completely moot the second Sproles crossed the goal line giving the Saints the lead with 4:11 remaining. And then AGAIN when Jimmy Graham crossed the goal line with less than two minutes remaining.

Oh sure, you can always go back and tally up first-half points and say "Well, if not for that…" Yeah, I get it. 13 points off turnovers. Saints lost by four. Four minus thirteen… Saints win by nine if not for that… ipso facto, right? If the Saints score 7 on that first drive instead of zero, Saints win by 3. If the 4 turnovers in the first half don't happen and the Saints score on all of those possessions, the Saints might have been up 35-3 at halftime. And if the defense hadn't limited the damage from those turnovers, the Saints would have been getting blown out at halftime and the offense never gets the chance to produce those late-game heroics in the first place. 

Yeah, that's all bullshit.

Sure, I'll concede that they all count. Every one of them counts for one, no more and no less, no matter how they're posted or when. And when the clock strikes 0:00, it all comes down to a matter of simple math. The winner has more and the loser has fewer. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

But it's a gross oversimplification. We're not just talking "Scoreboard!" here. We're "analyzing." We're doing what you always tell us to do, looking beyond the lies, damn lies and statistics and WATCHING THE GAME! I just wish I had my YouTube highlights "game film" handy.

The fact is that while all points count the same, they're not all created equal. Just as a holding penalty at your own 30 ceases to matter when 10 plays later the ball is in the end zone, a 17-point deficit ceases to matter once the team erases that deficit and takes the lead. With just over 4 minutes remaining. And then AGAIN with less than 2 minutes remaining.

Message Board Guy tried to do the same thing last year when Hartley missed the field goal in overtime that failed to win the first Falcons game. "Yeah, but it never should have gotten to that point!!! If only…" But it did get to that point. And the winning kick was in the air. At that point, that's all that matters. It either goes through or it doesn't. It didn't. And while that miss didn't lose the game, at that moment, nothing else that happened earlier in the game mattered. Kick goes through, game over, Saints win.

I don't care if the Saints had fallen behind by 50 by halftime Saturday. As soon as the deficit no longer exists, it no longer exists and the offense (or whomever scored the points to secure the lead in a given game) has done its job. That is, when it's late in the game. I'm not talking about taking a 10-7 lead in the first quarter here. That should be obvious, but we're dealing with Contrarian Message Board Guy here, so I figure I probably ought to state that for the record.

But we could argue in circles about nuances like that until September if we were interested in doing that. I'm not. Moving on…

If we're gonna magically take away the 13 points the offense and special teams "gifted them" Saturday and assume everything else would have remained equal, that's still 23 points. The San Francisco offense averaged 23.8 in the regular season. So the defense theoretically "held them" to… their average. Great. Nice job, defense. The Saints offense "only" scored 32. Against a defense that averaged 14.3 points per game allowed in the regular season. Yeah. Clearly this loss is all on the offense. If only they'd have scored 40+…

That's the bigger issue, is it not? To hell with the San Francisco game. Let's go all big picture with it here. 

This offense scored 20, 21, 32 and 34 points in the team's four losses this season. Repeat: That was in their losses. The defense allowed 20, 23, 24, 27, 28 and 33 points in six of the team's wins.

And yet, how many times did you hear or read about some defensive player or another beating his chest after a win about how "We made the plays when we needed to!" as if the final score was 6-3 or something. This just in: The Saints didn't have any 6-3 games this year. The offense failed to put up 20+ exactly zero times. Zero. But try telling that to them.

We talked about this a little bit a few weeks ago. The whole "We made the plays when we needed to" mantra. It really was pretty much every week somebody was saying that after a win. And as we noted at the time, that kind of attitude is disturbing as all hell. Really? You just won 40-33 and you're strutting around like you're the fuckin' Dome Patrol?

You know what "We made the plays when we needed to" really means? It means "Most of the time, we're just good enough to hang in there until Drew Brees rides in on his white horse and puts up 40+. And we're just fine with that. Now pat us on the back." (And all too frequently, the local Legitimate Media™ was right there to do just that.)

Go back and watch those last 4 minutes, Message Board Guy. Then tell me who "made the plays when we needed to" and who didn't.

The D student manages a C- and we give him a reward, while the A+ student gets an A- and Message Board Guy wants to ground him for a month. Been that way for 6 years now.

But it's one thing when it's Message Board guy spewing that bullshit. It's a whole other thing when the players themselves are spewing the same bullshit. Huge red flag. And its gotta reflect back on Gregg. It might as well have been Gregg saying it himself, it's trademarked Gregg Williams Bluster™.

Which isn't to say it's all on Gregg. It's just mostly on Gregg.

I mean, I'm not sure how much how much blame you can put on Gregg for the fact that these No-Catching Motherfuckers couldn't catch a cold if they were standing naked in the rain. It's easy to say "coach 'em up!" But you can coach it up until the cows come home. When the ball's in the air, they're either gonna catch it or they're not. Clearly Gregg has been as frustrated by that as we've been. You can send 8 to the quarterback all day every day, and it might very well be the least of all evils, but they're either gonna get there or they're not. But if they don't, what are you supposed to do? Put Jarrett Lee in?

I'm not nearly smart enough to say with any certainty whether it's players or scheme. My best guess is that it's probably a whole lot of both. Which doesn't bode well for this defense going forward post-Gregg. Hey, who knows, maybe the next guy comes in and "pulls a Gregg" his own self. And the Saints win another Championship next season. High five! Fingers crossed, not holding my breath.

Meantime, I'm pretty sure it wasn't gonna get any better with Gregg. Because here's what I think might be the dirty little secret about Gregg:

In 2000 as the Titans' DC, his defense ranked #1 in total defense and #2 in scoring defense. That defense featured a 27 year old Randall Godfrey at middle linebacker, in his 5th year, after having "grown up" in Dallas. Their safeties, Blaine Bishop and Marcus Robinson, grew up in Houston/Tennessee, but not really under Gregg. Same with cornerback Denard Walker. Cornerback Samari Rolle and defensive end Jevon Kearse were still young, but they were beasts straight out of college.

In 2003 as head coach of the Bills, his defense ranked #2 in total defense and #5 in scoring defense. That defense featured a 28 year old London Fletcher in his prime, after having "grown up" in St. Louis. A 26 year old Antoine Winfield at cornerback, whom he inherited. A 27 year old Takeo Spikes in the prime of his career who had just escaped Cincinnati. A 33 year old Lawer Milloy at strong safety who had been prematurely discarded by New England. A couple of monster defensive tackles in Pat Williams and Sam Adams, both of whom were inherited. Oh, and some guy named Dick LeBeau as his assistant head coach. Yeah, that Dick LeBeau.

In 2004 as the Redskins' DC, his defense ranked #3 in total defense and #5 in scoring defense. Lavar Arrington, Antonio Pierce and Marcus Washington at linebacker. All inherited, all in the primes of their careers. Shawn Springs and Fred Smoot at corner. Bought and inherited, respectively. Cornelius Griffin at DT, bought in the prime of his career. And rookie free safety Sean Taylor, a ready-made beast right out of college.

See the common thread there? A shitload of really good players in the prime of their respective careers. All of them pretty much finished products, individually-wrapped, no assembly required. Just add water and throw 'em on the field.

With the exception of those three seasons, and 2009, his defenses have been fair-to-middlin' at best, and pretty fuckin' crappy at worst.

And in 2009? Two words: Darren Sharper.

Gregg fell ass-backwards into Sharper's death rattle. I don't think it's a whole lot more complicated than that. It just so happened that just as Gregg came in preaching takeaways, the ultimate ballhawk fell into his lap. Not only a finished product, but a cinch first-ballot hall of famer, and one of the catchingest motherfuckers of all time. The ultimate validation of the takeaway dogma Gregg was preaching.

Gregg also inherited Jonathan Vilma, who had been bought the previous year in the prime of his career, and had arguably his best season. But mostly it was Sharper. And to Gregg's credit, he sure as hell squeezed all he possibly could out of Sharper, Vilma, Will Smith and a bunch of other guys who played well above their heads for that one year.

But that one season was all Sharper had left. And once Sharper was done, Gregg was pretty much fucked. Because he had no idea how to manufacture more of that.

Gregg is like the "chef" whose "technique" is to buy a bunch of expensive ingredients and arrange 'em on the plate. Voila! That'll be $85.

And hey, when it all comes together, it can be well worth the $85. I'd pay twice that right this minute for another helping of 2009. But that wasn't gonna happen, because all the ingredients he had left would need to… you know… actually go in the oven.

And I don't know about you, but at this point, I'm in no mood for a $20 "tapas plate" consisting of a slice of prosciutto and four room temperature olives.

Fuckin' tapas.

So bring on the next guy, whoever he might be. Just make sure he knows how to grill a fuckin' steak. And if he wants to put a bunch of bacon on everything, well that'll be just fine too.