Dude's got tiger blood!Boing! Mickey, you magnificent bastard! You've done it again!

Guess I dodged a bullet by failing to finish yesterday's post, in which I whined about my boredom and spent a lot of time bitching at Mickey Loomis and pleading with him to do something already. Pasted from the never-to-be-published draft: "I mean, damn, Mickey. I'm not asking for much, just something. Surely you could at least go ahead and sign Rogers. Or just knock out an easy one like re-upping Hartley or Dave Thomas or something. Just throw us a freakin' bone, would ya?" So much for that.

moosedenied received the following response from Mickey last night via Twitter:

Owned.

Indeed. Now I'm worried that Loomis has found some kind of backdoor into my WordPress admin console. Shit!

I'm now 100% convinced that Loomis toys with us for his own amusement. You just know all this stuff was done a week or so ago, but he kept it in his back pocket to see how confused and irritable we'd get before he finally dropped it on us. I'm betting that if it weren't for other obligations getting in the way, he'd have waited until literally the eleventh hour, 10pm, tomorrow night to press send on the fax machine.

Mickey Loomis: Winning

Of course, it's not like offering tenders to ten potentially-restricted free agents is really anything to get excited about. It's little more than a no-brainer procedural move which may or may not mean much of anything when the CBA situation eventually gets itself unfucked.

Shaun Rogers: Mmmm… tenders.

But what it does is give those ten players plenty of time to process the implications, get used to the situation, cryptically (or not-so-cryptically) bitch about it on Twitter, consult with their agents, bitch about it some more on Twitter, etc.

If nothing else, hopefully it will allow everyone involved to hit the ground running when sometime in September the league finally announces that both sides have suddenly realized they've all been full of shit all along, and the regular season will start 48 hours from right… NOW! Meantime, there doesn't seem to be any reason not to go ahead and get those procedural moves out of the way now. Might as well strike them off the to-do list.

One of those guys, Garrett Hartley, may or may not have actually signed a new 5-year contract. Conflicting reports, but if he didn't, I figure there's little chance that he won't sometime today or tomorrow. I can't imagine those reports were just pulled out of thin air. Again, not exactly the most exciting news, but it does pretty much assure that the Saints won't be using their 7th rounder on a kicker in April.

Which, on second thought, actually is pretty exciting. With that out of the way, the Saints will now be free to pluck the next LeGarrette Blount or Arian Foster from Day 3's Big Bin Of League-Leading Tailbacks instead. Because, you know, it's pretty much just that easy. Right, Message Board Guy? High five!

(Note to Mickey: Please sign Josh Jasper as a UDFA. You know, just in case. Thanks.)

The good news is that it's not like the Saints have married themselves to Scooter for 5 years. He's a kicker, it's not like he's getting an eight figure signing bonus. It's probably more like a burlap sack full of assorted capsules and an invite to one or two of Sean Payton's private parties at Gilley's. Sure hope Garrett is familiar with the Cotton Eye Joe.

Sean Payton: And not that bullshit Swedish techno version from 1994 either!

Garrett Hartley: D'oh!

The other good news is that, I don't know, Scooter just seems to me like the kind of guy who will respond positively to whatever percieved security a long-term contract carries with it. I freely admit that I have very little to back that up, and am basically just pulling it out of my ass, but he just seems like such a perpetually-nervous little dude. Not having to worry about his job riding on each individual kick might go a long way towards curing him of the yips for good. Fingers crossed. He still might wanna keep himself boned up on his Boot Scootin' Boogie though. Just sayin'. Coach doesn't suffer line dancing incompetence lightly.

The big news, of course, was the signing of Shaun Rogers. High five! I'm already on record as to why this was quite possibly the biggest acquisition the Saints (or any other team, for that matter) could possibly have made before the lockout. You can imagine how shocked I was that it ended up actually happening, despite the fact that I was hoping it would. Nice.

And then, if that weren't enough, it comes out that Rogers may have turned down as much as a couple million extra to sign here rather than elsewhere. Boing!

Yo Shaun, when you get into town for good and are settled in, Sunday night at @MVBurger is on me. The only condition is that you bring Pierre Thomas and Lance Moore with you and have a good long talk with them about how much it blows to be stuck on shitty teams, and how the paychecks don't make it much better. Perhaps I could get an assist on that from Mickey's expense account.

Meantime, I promise that this will be my one and only Charlie Sheen Meme indulgence. I realize it's already jumped the shark, but in my defense, it's not like I've been tweeting about it every 10 seconds for the last 3 days like pretty much everyone else you follow.

Hopefully I'll be banging out another post tomorrow. I've got a few bones to pick with Jeff Duncan, among other scattershot grievances. Might get a little mileage out of yesterday's draft after all. But if Mickey wants to intervene and make me put that off again, that'll be just fine too. He's still got a tailback to release, after all. Clock's ticking, Mickey.

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