Cha ching! Reg-gie! Reg-gie! Reg-gie!

Well, there you have it. The long-awaited, incessantly-prophecised "breakout game" for our stunningly handsome Spiraling Shape finally happened Monday night. I know that because Message Board Guy has told me so about 100 times since then. I’m not sure whether it’s more important for all us haters to give Reggie the props he so richly deserves, or for us to "eat crow" and publicly apologize for ever doubting him (Reggie or MBG, take your pick.)

I mean, sure, the Saints are 7-0 after enduring their closest call yet, and they ended up on the good side of a 2-game swing in the divisional standings. But who gives a shit about that? The important thing is that after 7 weeks of  calling for it, by god, Message Board Guy was PROVEN RIGHT! Reggie really IS great. Not to mention ridiculously handsome.

And what a performance it was. First things first: 2 rushes for 3 yards, 2 receptions for 11 yards and 1 punt return for 1 yard. High five! Now let us never speak of that again, because the haters might latch onto it as if those numbers really really suck a whole lot. We know they don’t, but the haters want us to think that they do.

They want us to focus on the fact that Reggie has now set career full-game lows in touches from scrimmage for the last 3 consecutive weeks. (7 touches, 6 and then 4) They want us to focus on the fact that he set a new career low in total yards, with 15.

They want us to talk about the fact that Reggie had the same number of rushes and the same number of rushing yards as Drew Brees. And that he had the same number of receptions as David Thomas, but for less than half the yards. They’ll point out that SIX other Saints produced more yards on INDIVIDUAL PLAYS than Reggie put up all game.

But that’s just because they’re haters. Haters like to focus on stupid barely-relevant bullshit like.. production. Because the utter lack of it suits their hater agenda. What they don’t realize is that to truly gauge the greatness of a superstar, you have to look past the stat sheet and pull shit out of your ass recognize all the things that superstars do which don’t show up on the stat sheet.

And it’s not like Reggie didn’t produce. He did have an AMAZING uncontested touchdown jog, and I’m pretty sure that one counted more than all the other touchdowns combined. But that’s just production, and superstars transcend such silliness.

No, what we need to focus on is the fact that he PLAYED GREAT! Not once did he step out of bounds, NOT ONCE! He put his head down and by god CHARGED forward right into some VICIOUS run of the mill tackles. And did he fumble? No sir! Not even once! Know who did fumble? Pierre. And Bell. AND Drew. But not Reggie. Those three ought to take a lesson or two from Reggie on the importance of ball security.

He also yet again showed what a consummate team player he is by rushing to the defense of Colston while some dude was holding his leg in the air. I didn’t see anybody else out there risking a personal foul flag at the opponent’s 10 while the Saints were trying to go up by 2 scores in the 4th quarter. I guess they just don’t care as passionately for the well-being of their 6′ 4" wideout who’s being RAVAGED by classless jerks.

He even totally stuck it to the incompetent, biased officials by acting all sad after his amazing touchdown jog, because earlier, the officials had penalized the Saints for what may have been a bottle thrown onto the field, or may have been excessive celebration on Pierre. Ha! Eat that, officials. Reggie just totally showed you up, and all you can do is sit there grooving on it! Owned.

Now that’s what I call making plays. Oh, I could go on and on. Such class and grace, accepting his reduced role and not giving the public any reason whatsoever to think he’s being a jerk about it. He was totally smiling on the sideline after Greer’s pick six. Haters don’t realize how important that kind of thing is to keep the team’s morale high going into halftime with a 2 touchdown lead.

But I don’t expect the haters to get it. All they care about is production. They don’t care about all the subtle nuances of superstardom. They’ll never give Reggie credit for not being a jerk when The Man’s holding him down. Even after a breakout game, all they want to talk about is 2 rushes for 3 yards, 2 receptions for 11 yards and 1 punt return for 1 yard. They just REFUSE to see the bigger picture. What a bunch of assholes.

So I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize unreservedly for ever doubting Message Board Guy. Clearly the seventh time was the charm, and you were finally PROVEN RIGHT. I hereby pledge to henceforth never ever mention Reggie’s stats again, unless you mention them first, and have fully established how deceptively great they were. Until then, I’ll do my best to focus on the important stuff. Like his facial expressions of support for better players making better plays, the class with which he accepts being an afterthought in this offense, and whatever else you wanna pull out of your ass every week to prove how right you’ve been all along.

I’ll do all that just as soon as some magazine or another puts an airborne Pierre on the cover. Deal?

After all, didn’t I hear Tirico mention that Pierre currently leads the league in percentage of total rushes that have gone for 15+ yards? By golly, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that’s one hell of a playmaker kinda stat there. Fortunately for me, Message Board Guy has long since hipped me to the fact that "playmaking" is something entirely different. I’m still not quite sure what it is, but I know it ain’t that.

So now that all the important stuff is out of the way, on to other things. Seems the big question is whether this was another display of resilience and grit in overcoming adversity, or whether it was yet another case of the Saints manufacturing their own adversity by way of spates of shitty play. My guess is that it was a lot of both.

There’s been much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the recent turnover issues. I’m certainly not about to dismiss those concerns out of hand. They’re valid. But at the same time, I think they’re a bit overblown right at the moment. Bell’s fumble was inexcusable, as was the failure to recover the onside kick. But the other three, in my opinion, come with a shitload of mitigating circumstances.

Drew’s fumble was due to an illegal and vicious helmet to the face, and you can bet that the league will be handing down a fine for it. God only knows why there was no flag on it. It shouldn’t have counted, which doesn’t change the fact that the ball was still fumbled. But come on, are you really gonna blame a quarterback for fumbling while taking a helmet to the face? It damn near knocked his helmet off, for crying out loud.

The interception was just a ridiculous play by Grimes. Sometimes you just have to tip your hat to the opponent. It was a perfect pass. Grimes just got about 3 feet higher than any reasonable person would have thought possible. He made a great, GREAT play. Hey, it happens. It’s easy to say that the ball should have been thrown 6 inches higher. Hell, that’s what I said in the moment. But there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with that pass. It was just a great, one-percent kind of play by the opponent. Hey, they’re getting paid too.

Pierre clearly, indisputably recovered his own fumble. There’s just no doubt about it whatsoever. Whatever happened in the scrum should have been a moot point, because Pierre was down by contact after having recovered his own fumble. What I want to know is whether or not it’s possible to put that fine a point on a challenge. I have no idea. Payton challenged the fact that he fumbled in the first place, and he rightly lost that challenge. Clearly it was a fumble. The correct challenge to make, assuming it’s possible, would have been to assert that Pierre had recovered and was down, which he clearly did, and was. But I’m not sure that’s a valid challenge to make.

The other big beef coming from Monday night seems to be the run defense. And there’s no doubt that the Saints are missing Big Sed something fierce. But I think that’s being somewhat overblown too. Message Board Guy is acting like Michael Turner is some kind of chump. He’s not. Which isn’t to say that giving up 151 rushing yards to anyone is acceptable. All I’m saying is that, while it’s a valid concern, it’s not necessarily a portent of DOOOOOM for a guy who put up 1700 rushing yards last year to put it to you a little bit in a losing effort while your stud DT is out. It’s a thing, but how big a thing remains to be seen.

Meantime, BEST DEFENSIVE BACKFIELD EVER! 3 of the 4 DBs had INTs Monday night. 3 of the 4 defensive backs now have pick sixes on the year. I mean, just, holy shit. 

And there could have been more. Greer dropped an INT on the Falcons’ second to last drive of the half. Sharper dropped one in the second half. I know you’re not gonna catch ‘em all, and I’m not complaining. But, my how things have changed… these days, you expect them to catch every one of them. And bring every damn last one of them to the house.

And while Harper doesn’t have any yet, that’s really not his game these days anyway. He’s a blitzing and run support strong safety and is doing a damn fine job of it. He led the team in tackles Monday night, and has 45 tackles, a sack and two forced fumbles on the year. I’ll take it.

Balance: 35 rushes, 35 passes (including sacks.) Four 80+ yard drives. And the biggest one of them all pretty much epitomizes 2009′s "Finish" mantra, doesn’t it?

Ten minutes remaining in regulation. Saints up by a scant 4. The Falcons get the ball on the aforementioned fumble by Pierre, which he recovered, but the officials had no idea what the hell might have happened down in the scrum, flipped a coin and gave the Falcons the ball. Two plays later, the Falcons are in the Saints’ red zone and about to take the lead.

Enter Jonathan Vilma and Tracy Porter. No soup for you!

But that’s only the beginning. Now it’s on the Saints’ offense, who hadn’t done jack shit since halftime. 8:30 remaining. Colston makes a 29 yard reception, falling some 4 feet directly onto his back, but holding onto the ball. Two plays later, 19 yards to Shockey. I still have no fucking idea how he caught that ball and held onto it. 7 plays, 3 minutes, 50 yards, red zone. Daaaamn.

Oh, it gets better. See, there’s still 5:30 left on the clock. Too much time, especially since a field goal only puts you up by 7. A Pierre Thomas run takes 44 seconds off the clock. Then a pass to Colston for a first down at the 8, inbounds. Another run and all of a sudden it’s 3:14 and the Falcons have to start burning timeouts. Another pass, inbounds, to Devery at the 1. Tick tock tick tock. The Falcons have to burn a second timeout.

12 plays, 81 yards and 5:21 off the clock. Pierre scores to put the Saints up by 11. Game all but over.

Finish. Indeed.

Oh sure, there was still a whole lot of bullshit left to endure. (That neverending scrum after the onside kick was simultaneously one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in a football game, and one of the most annoying.)

But that right there, that was it. That’s a two-game fuckin’ swing in the division race right there. 5 minutes, 21 seconds of fourth quarter total team effort on both sides of the ball. If "clutch" were an actual thing, that would be the very definition of it.

‘Preciate that, Reggie.

If the last two weeks is what qualifies as a "slump" for the 2009 Saints, this is gonna be more fun than anybody ever could have imagined.