Cha-ching! DEUUUUUUUUCE!!!

Somewhere in New York City, Roger's having a Matty Ice Moment in his pants. Pete Prisco is going all Dutch Wagenbach with it on the windpipe of a small cat. And the Falcons are about to implode. Good times.

It remains to be seen whether or not the Saints can pull themselves all the way out of the early season 0-4 hole and actually make the playoffs. But if not, at least the consolation prizes are starting to roll in. For now, that'll just have to do. And it'll do just fine, thank you very much. But I've got a hunch that it's only gonna get better from here. A lot better. Continue Reading…

Just when you think you've got this thing all figured out. Just when you think you've figured out exactly what this 2012 Saints team is, and how the rest of this script is gonna play out. SHOCKING PLOT TWIST! Like sands through the hourglass…

Seven sacks. A 99-yard pick-six. A season-low 226 passing yards allowed. An opponent goes 0-5 in the red zone and is actually outscored 7-6 on those 5 red zone trips. A season-best PTOMAC™ of 13. An actual Chris Ivory sighting! 140 offensive rushing yards at a clip of 5.6 per, including runs of 23, 22 and 19. Three cheers for the incompetence of the opponent! High five! Continue Reading…

"Do Your Job" ~ Giant Sean Payton Face

Let's get one thing out of the way right off the bat. If you're of the opinion that what we've been seeing from the 2012 Saints defense in any way even vaguely resembles acceptable, excusable or understandable, then we have nothing to discuss and you might as well go ahead and stop reading now. It is not acceptable. There is no excuse. And it's time we quit asking ourselves and one another whether it's more on the players or more on the coaches and scheme. Because the answer is clear, it's a metric fuckton of both. They've all but admitted as much. Continue Reading…

"For the first six months you wonder how the hell you ever got here. For the next six months you wonder how the hell the rest of them ever got here." ~ Harry S. Truman, or possibly Steve Spagnuolo

Cha-ching! 2-4, bitches! DEE-FENSE! DEE-FENSE! DEE-FENSE! How 'bout them Spagheads?!? We here at moosedenied would like to take this opportunity to officially christen the back 7 as "The Ohm Patrol" because they offer juuuuust slightly more resistance than… well, none at all. I always wondered what those Ω symbols on Malcolm Jenkins's arm were about. Makes perfect sense now. Continue Reading…

IT'S A COLUMBUS DAY MIRACLE!!! Who knew that was even a thing?

Let me see if I've got this straight. Lance Moore didn't play, Jimmy Graham was hobbled early and caught one pass for 4 yards, Saints tailbacks rushed for a whopping 55 yards at 2.9 per with a long of 8, Darren Sproles put up a mere 37 yards from scrimmage… and the Saints still put up 31 points? And won the fuckin' game? With the defense on the field at the end?!? Five sacks, including a sack-fumble to clinch the win, and a tag-team interception featuring Malcolm Jenkins and Roman Harper? Seriously? All that actually happened? I'd ask what planet I'm on, but I don't really care. I'm not sure that it really matters anymore. 1-0 in October, bitches! High five!

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Welp, if one good thing came out of the Green Bay game, at least we were reminded that Drew Brees is still in fact a god. So we've got that going for us. High five!

On the other hand, we were also reminded that this defense is still a dumpster fire, the running game still can't be trusted, and the tweeked-out emo boy kicker damn sure still can't be trusted. Guh. But since I'm (very) late to the party this week, and last week's game has already been beaten to death, we'll just leave it at that and move on to this weekend's Drew Brees Appreciation Night. Because it might very well be our only opportunity this season to smell us some of that sweet, sweet greatness. Continue Reading…

JED COLLINS, BITCHES! High five?

Welp, it took the better part of three days for me to find a reason to stop punching myself in the crotch and find some semblance of a silver lining here. But I'll be damned if I didn't find one eventually. And it goes a little something like this… If you had to pick a season for the Saints to go ahead and fall flat on their asses, this one's shaping up to be as good as any. Meantime, if the Saints have been doomed to stumble into Goodell's abyss this season, at least the rest of the league is circling the drain right along with us. High five!

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Welcome to 2007, bitches. I've got ten large on the table for anybody who wants to kill and/or affect my head. Fire up that John Deere tractor!

At this point, I can't tell whether I'm conflicted, or just confused as hell. (Not quite as confused as the Saints defense, of course.) On one hand, your mileage may vary, but I actually saw a number of reasons for optimism Sunday afternoon. On the other hand, as Ralph so astutely pointed out during the postgame podcast, in a way that kinda makes it even worse, doesn't it? Continue Reading…

Welp, so much for that. Back to the drawing board. The time to panic has come. We must now move forward and turn to the town's all-purpose contingency plan. Plan B? Yes… B.

So, who wants to talk a little 2013 draft? Hey, look at the bright side. With a top-5 pick, the Saints might end up having a shot at Barkevious Mingo. Nice! Of course, if they're smart, they'll trade down. After all, clearly they're gonna need at least two safeties, a corner, two offensive tackles, two wideouts, two linebackers, a defensive end and a quarterback. Make it happen, Loomis!

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This is your hero?!? He ain't nothin'!!! ~Terry Bollea

Settle down, Saints fans. Don't get too excited. It's not real. Very little actually changed yesterday afternoon. Roger still makes the rules, pal. Jonathan Vilma and Will Smith were neither absolved nor vindicated by yesterday's ruling, and the truth is that they're still pretty well boned. What happened yesterday was far from anything like a knockout blow. In reality, it amounts to little more than merely landing a single solid jab before the other eye finally swells shut from the pummelling and the ref mercifully steps in and calls it.

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When they said "REPENT, REPENT!" I wonder what they meant. ~Leonard Cohen

Welcome to Week 1, bitches. Time to fuck up the script, make us some rules, and resume the glorious weekly ritual of sticking it to jerks. Sound like fun?

But before Travaris leads Our Heroes into battle Sunday afternoon (Think he'll bring a bat? Or is that gonna be Rafael Bush's job this season?) we here at moosedenied must Do Our Job™ as fully-credentialed members of the Illegitimate Media™ and pull a bunch of BOLD(!!!) league-wide predictions for the 2012 season out of our asses. All the cool kids are doing it.

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NOOOOOO!!! NOT HUTCH ECKERSON!!!

What the hell were you thinking, Loomis? No way in hell that guy makes it through waivers!

On the other hand, the good news is that we can all exhale for the time being, as everybody's favorite undrafted rookie camp beast proved once again that he's pretty much uncuttable at this point. As a result, he avoided the turk and gets to take another step on his journey to Canton. I'm of course referring to Jose Gumbs. 

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