Ah sweet, sweet Colorado. How I love thee. Home of Lon Chaney, Jello Biafra and Ellis Wyatt. Adopted home of Midas Mulligan. Conveniently bisected by the Rio Norte Line. The brisk, mile-high thin air enveloping your purple mountains is enough to get a brother downright stoned. Especially when it’s inhaled through a bong. And the omelettes. Those magnificent omelettes.

Sure, John Denver was responsible for some of the most abhorrent music ever known to mankind, but you can hardly be held responsible for that. After all, he was originally from Texas. (Explains a lot, don’t it?)

SELA will always be "Home" for me. And I fully anticipate being dead by 40. But if for some reason I wake up one morning and discover that I’m an old man, chances are that if you need me, I’ll be in Colorado. Probably Denver or Colorado Springs, assuming I’m unable to locate Mulligan’s Valley.

Which is why it’s doubly painful for me when I find myself with no other choice but to focus every ounce of my own blistering rage upon a city and a state for which I otherwise hold such affection. The shame of it all is that it doesn’t have to be this way. If only the Broncos would find it in their hearts to lose to the Saints every now and then. If guys like Mike Anderson and Reuben Droughns hadn’t so ruthlessly inflicted such crippling emotional pain.

If only I weren’t so damn sure it was about to happen again.

This is what it sounds like… when doves cry.

Now before you start calling me Fairweather Johnson and riding my ass for my lack of FAITH, understand that I’m not near ready to pack it in for the season. Ain’t nobody jumping off any kind of bandwagon here. I didn’t jump off at 0-3 last year, I can do 1-2 blindfolded with both hands tied behind my back, a pickaxe buried in the base of my skull, and my genitals caught in the gears of a transcontinental bus. Which I suppose is fortunate for me. Or something.

But what can I tell ya? I’m not a big BELIEVE guy. FAITH is fine and dandy, so long as it’s not dwarfed by a mountain of contradicting evidence.

And let me be perfectly clear, I haven’t seen nearly enough evidence yet to convince me that the Saints won’t be in this thing all season long.

But right this minute, much as I hate to say it, I see no compelling evidence that this team can sustain verticality for 60 minutes against the current best offense in the league, in their house, exactly one mile above sea level. None. Nadda. Zero. Zilch.

Believe me when I tell you that I wish it weren’t so. But, as a jackass with a blog, it’s my duty to seek the truth. I took an oath and everything.

Oh sure, I suppose there’s always the possibility of some kind of crazy 50-49 scenario. After all, Drew Brees has proven over and over again that he’s capable of shitting gold for 3.5 hours on any given day. And on the surface, the Broncos’ defense appears to be softer than a steaming pile of insipid John Denver lyrics.

That would be great if the same weren’t true of the Broncos’ offense and the Saints’ defense, and to a more convincing degree.

The Broncos are running for 143 yards per game. Selvin Young is averaging 7.6 yards per carry, and Andre Hall is putting up a paltry 5.4 ypc. So far this year, the Saints’ defense has yet to meet a tailback it could stop. 147.5 rushing yards allowed per game.

The Saints are allowing 256 yards passing per game, 28th in the league. Jay Cutler is averaging 320.5 per game. Cutler is by far the best QB the Saints have faced yet this year, Brandon Marshall is by far the best wideout the Saints have faced yet this year, and Eddie Royal is the early leader for offensive rookie of the year. Hell, at the moment, he’s outperforming Marshall.

And you think this defense was sucking wind due to the oppressive heat and humidity in FedEx Field last week? Hell, August in Mississippi was supposed to have prepared them for last week. What are they gonna do this week, hold their breath during practice? What are they gonna do in an atmosphere where there’s about as much oxygen as there is on the surface of the moon?

Meh, maybe the whole problem with the pass rush has been that Will Smith and Charles Grant have been suffering from an overabundance of oxygen. Right? Absolutely. I’m sure it’s that.

Ah, but there’s always the "keep the opposing offense off the field" strategy. Perhaps this is the week when Sean Payton finally busts out that old school grind-it-out power rushing offense that Message Board Guy has been yearning for.

You know, the one that there’s been zero indication that this team is even remotely capable of executing.

When you think about it, in a way, that’s just crazy enough to work!

But in another, more accurate way, it’s just crazy enough to fail miserably.

Our friend Berto thinks that what we need is a heaping helping of Dulymus, and how can you argue with that? Sure as hell couldn’t hurt. Keep Denver’s offense off the field and keep the Saints’ defense off the field. Two birds with one stone, right?

Problem is that at this point there’s a Hitchcockian number of birds, and Sean Payton seems to have misplaced his stones.

With the utmost respect to Berto, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree. Not that I don’t want to see Dulymus out there taking handoffs from Drew, because I do. We all do.

I’m just not sure this is the week to do it. So far, there’s been little indication since way back in 2006 that this team can effectively run the ball for any significant period of time. They have a hard enough time converting a single damn 3rd & short on the ground, let alone sustaining a drive on the ground.

So the question becomes, against the current best offense in the league, how many 3 & outs are you willing to accept in order to try to "establish the run" and see whether or not Dulymus is still capable of wearing a team down like back in the days of yore? How many times do you think this defense is capable of forcing the Broncos to punt?

I think you can afford to do that, say, next week at home against San Francisco. You can at least somewhat reasonably anticipate having a little wiggle room, you can concede the possibility of a few 3 & outs if it turns out that this team still can’t run even with Dulymus (which, let’s face it, is a reasonably likely outcome.)

But this week? This defense will be lucky to hold Denver under 50. The only glimmer of hope for a win rides on the offense going balls to the wall all game and scoring every time they have the ball. Sure, you still can’t pass every single down. And I’d like to see Dulymus get some of those carries as much as the next guy.

But in week 1, Oakland ran for 150 yards against Denver. They lost 41-14. Last week, the Broncos held Ladainian Tomlinson to 26 yards and the Chargers as a team to 80 yards rushing. But Phillip Rivers threw for 377 and the Chargers should have won that game 38-31.

Despite Champ Bailey and Dre Bly, all indications are that if you’re gonna beat the Broncos, you do it through the air. And you better score early and often. Which, if you’re looking for a ray of hope, at least seems to play into how most people think Sean Payton prefers to run his offense. So they’ve got that going for them, I guess. Or something.

Last week, San Diego had long plays of 67, 66 and 48 yards (all passes.) We know that the Saints can do that when Sean Payton decides to, and when the offensive line shows up. Hopefully this is one of those weeks, because I’m afraid it’s their only shot.

And since I can’t yet bring myself to predict a Saints loss, I suppose that rationalization will be the basis for this week’s prediction. I’m not committed to it, and the truth is that I don’t think it’s very likely, but it’s the best I’ve got.

Prediction: Saints 50, Broncos 49

Believe me, I don’t get off on being a downer. It’s just that last week was one hell of a demoralizing loss. I’ve tried all week to get over it. But I think that, for me, last week was the official "honeymoon’s over" moment. Last Sunday was one hell of a banner day for Skepticism and his asshole brother Cynicism.

Oh, I haven’t lost all confidence in this team. I really haven’t. But it sure as hell has been shaken, and hard. I need a double shot of competence from this team in the worst way, and I need it pronto.