Here at moosedenied.com, we think that consumption of alcohol is big fun.

And what’s better than drinking? Competitive drinking.

What’s better than that? Competitive drinking that also involves mocking others.

Fortunately for us, our bar is well-stocked, there’s a liquor store right around the corner, and soon there will be plenty of fodder for mocking, as every excruciatingly minute detail of the Saints’ 2007 training camp and preseason will be nitpicked to death on message boards near and far. Hey, we mock because we love. And loathe. If you don’t have a love/hate relationship with your preferred Saints message board, then you need to find a better one, because the one you’re posting on is bush league. The loathing is half the fun.

This will be the first time since the briefly-famous “Heather” had her 15 minutes, that the inevitable copycats will have the opportunity to hop aboard that train. We encourage these efforts, and hope that in future years, we can add “Some hot chick is shown wearing a tee shirt which has been silkscreened with a profane slogan.” (Yo Heather, call me.)

In the meantime, here are the rules for the 2007 Saints Camp/Preseason Message Board Drinking Game:

Take a drink, and/or post “Take a drink” in the appropriate thread on the Saints message board of your choice whenever…

> Someone misspells a player’s or coach’s name. Double up if the misspelling includes a misplaced apostrophe. Double up again if it includes an apostrophe when, in context, it’s obvious that the misspeller isn’t even trying to denote a possessive. (i.e. “Drew Bree’s is great!”

> Someone makes an unbelievably, dumbfoundingly optimistic “prediction” (read: wild guess) about a player who the rest of us are pretty sure will be among the first round of cuts. (I’m looking in Rhema McKnight’s direction… Double up if the person includes: “Remember where you heard it first!!!” or something along those lines.

> Someone says about an undrafted rookie on the verge of being cut: “He’ll never make it through waivers to the practice squad.” (I’m still looking in Rhema McKnight’s direction…

> Someone says “I’ve been saying for months…” or some other variant of “I told you so” in response to some camp or preseason observation.

> Someone proposes that the Saints trade Meechum™. Double up if the trade proposal is straight up for two first rounders, or Ray Lewis, or Champ Bailey, or [so on and so forth]

> Someone proposes that the Saints trade Jack Hunt. Double up if the trade proposal is straight up for Jonathan Vilma, or Ed Reed, or [so on and so forth]

> Someone proposes that the Saints pick up some chump who was among some other team’s first round of cuts. Double up if the guy just happens to have played for LSU, or is a Louisiana native.

> Someone suggests that someone other than Jason David will be starting opposite Mike McKenzie.

> Someone suggests that Deuce looks fat.

> Someone begins to panic because the offense isn’t scoring touchdowns on every drive from the very first HOF Game possession.

> Someone refers to the preseason offense as ”vanilla.”

> Someone uses the word “gel” (or “gell” or “jell” or some variation.)

> Someone totally overreacts to a minor injury to a Saints player.

> Someone, for no discernable reason whatsoever, apropos of absolutely nothing, somehow finds a way to make an Aaron Brooks reference.

> Some douchebag attending camp snaps a candid, stalkeresque picture of some half-dressed, moderately-attractive woman, and without her knowledge or consent, posts it on the web for others to ogle.

> Some internet creep uses his Cheeto-stained fingers to post an equally-douchetastic drooling comment in response to the pic of the latest “Camp Hottie.”

> Someone posts a picture of a fan who showed up in costume. Double up if the post was made by the costumed fan himself to hype the greatness of his costume.

> The costumed fan shows up in the thread to claim “credit” for the costume. Or, if the costumed fan is a regular poster, he shows up to bask in his fame. Double up if he shoehorns in a mention of having been on the radio or tee vee, or having gotten kudos from a player or coach.

> Someone asks if the game will be broadcast in their area, and if so, what channel? Double up if the person asks that question for one of the nationally-televised preseason games (HOF Game: NFL Network, Buffalo: CBS)

> Someone complains that the HOF Game is on the NFL Network, and the NFL Network is not available in their area, which is an injustice on par with the O.J. verdict.

> Someone asks if WWL or some other local radio station will be streaming the game on the web.

> After being told that the NFL outlawed streaming of games by local radio stations at least three years ago, the person asks for a hookup with an illegal audio or video internet stream of the game.

> Someone posts a technical question about whatever illegal streaming broadcast hookup becomes the popular option.

> At game time, the illegal streaming broadcast “solution” doesn’t work (assuming you’re able to take a drink whilst laughing your ass off.)

Try not to end up in the hospital getting your stomach pumped. And don’t drive, jackass!

We hope you all decide to participate. You know you wanna. Meantime, any additional rules submitted through the comments are automatically adopted and are in effect.

Hooray for football, alcohol and these here internets!