Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Over the next five weeks, the Saints are going to log about a million miles in the air. Memo to the players: Don’t order the fish. Mofo will straight lay you to da bone. Jack you up. Cutty can’t hang.

But first, it’s a routine trip to Charlotte. This game has "make or break" written all over it. Win, and neither Tampa nor Carolina can beat you on a head-to-head tiebreaker. The Saints would be 2-0 in the division while Carolina and Atlanta would have two division losses. Lose, and you’re 2 games behind Carolina and can’t beat them on a head-to-head tiebreaker. You’ve got 3 teams to overtake and only 9 games left to do it. Or in other words, you’re completely screwed. Nervous? You betcha. First time? No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

The good news is that it appears that the Saints might finally have the services of Big Number Twelve and Poochie at their disposal once again. The bad news is that Reggie Bush has missed two straight practices. The Saints are being pretty tight-lipped about the situation. So far, the only statement from Airline has been "Just hang loose, blood. We gonna catch him up on da rebound wit da medicide."

It’ll be our first look at Jake Delhomme’s brand new ulnar collateral ligament. Surprise, it’s overrated too. Word is that if you listen real close, you can actually hear it whining about the lack of a flag after every single incomplete pass.

Jake’s passer rating is 79.4, good for 18th in the league, and the lowest of his career with the Pants. He’s only thrown for 5 touchdowns, vs. 5 interceptions and 2 lost fumbles. He’s been sacked 9 times, which is about right. He’s passing for 223 yards per game, with between 33% and 50% of those yards going to Steve Smith on a weekly basis. He’s completing 58.6% of his passes, his lowest completion percentage since 2004.

The good news for the Pants is that none of those numbers are too much lower than they were before. So they’ve got that going for ‘em. No wonder ESPN and Fox have been running all those "Not-quite-crappy QB recovers from Tommy John to regain most of his not-quite-crappiness" stories.

They’re even less effective on the ground. Oh, they’re better than the Saints of course. But Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams are only putting up 109.2 yards per game on the ground, good for only 19th in the league.

Overall, they’re 16th in total yards per game and 23rd in scoring, averaging less than 20 points per game.

How in the hell are these guys 4-2?

Simple. They’ve done what the Saints have failed to do. They’ve won both of their crazy, close games. In week 1 they won on a tipped pass for a touchdown with 2 seconds remaining, after earlier scoring on a fumble… by Antonio Gates. In week 2 they came back from a 17-3 deficit to take the lead, and didn’t almost immediately give it back. The Saints, on the other hand, have had 3 such games so far, and they’ve lost them all.

Defensively, the Pants are very good. As always. The good news is that while they’re 2nd in the league against the pass, they’re only 15th against the run. A lot of people seem to be taking that as a negative, based on the assumption that they’ll be able to somewhat neutralize what’s clearly the basis for any success the Saints might have on a given Sunday. I see it quite differently.

I’ll take the Saints’ passing game against any pass defense in the league, bar none. I’m only worried when passing is all the Saints can do in a given game. In what’s becoming a weekly tradition, I’d like to point out that their pass defense hasn’t faced a passing offense anything like the Saints’. Mainly because there isn’t one.

Meanwhile, an average run defense allows Sean Payton some semblance of confidence in the rushing game, which puts the ball in Dulymus’ hands, which leads to play action, which leads to happiness. And you know how I feel about happiness. I support it wholeheartedly.

Of course, none of the above really means a whole lot. After all, this is Carolina. Throw out the records, throw out the stats, throw out the venue, none of it means jack squat. So I suppose I just typed all of that for nothing. Owned.

What scares me most is that it’ll probably be close, which means mistakes will be magnified. Carolina takes advantage of them, and for the most part, the Saints don’t. That could be a big problem.

But surely with Colston and Shockey back, and after that performance against Oakland, the Saints have clearly got it figured out and are about to go on a big, big run. Right?

No question about it. And don’t call me Shirley.

You know Jake ain’t gonna lay no mo big rap up on you man. Cutty say he can’t hang. Got to be cold runnin’ upside down his head, you know? Lay ‘em down, smack em yack ‘em. Cold got to be, you know? Shiiiiiiit.

Jive ass dude don’t got no brains anyhow.

Prediction: Saints 24, Pants 23