Ouch.Well, so much for me having any fuckin' clue what I'm talking about. (I'll pause while the internet responds: "Pfft… you just now figuring that out?") Touché, douché.

The good news is that I'm pretty sure that didn't actually happen. It couldn't have, right? RIGHT? I mean, there's just no way in hell LSU went on the road and lost by (only) 7 to the #4 team in the country because their defense shit the bed, while the Saints lost by 13 (20 if not for a garbage time touchdown) at home to a 1-5 team because Drew Brees threw four interceptions, including two pick-sixes. Unfathomable! Inconcievable! It flies in the face of this particular universe's laws of physics, for crying out loud!

And here I thought that the Arizona game was the damnedest thing I had ever seen. Wrong again, Wang. This made that look downright sane.

The Saints' defense held Cleveland to 87 yards passing, and only 74 by… you know… their actual quarterback? They held Cleveland to 66 yards rushing by… you know… their actual tailbacks? The Browns' leading receiver had a whopping 25 yards? The Saints had 394 yards of total offense to Cleveland's 210?

And yet, it was the Saints who got blown out? How in the blue hell does that even happen?

A 68-yard fake punt? Really? One hundred fucking ten return yards on interceptions, and two touchdowns? REALLY?

The Browns gained 170 yards while punters were on the field vs. 142 yards when their offense was on the field. Add in the 110 yards on interception returns, and the Browns gained twice as many yards with their offense on the bench than they did with their offense on the field.

Their fourth leading receiver on the day was Colt McCoy, for crying out loud! And if Peyton Hillis could throw like Spencer Ware, McCoy might have gained the 13 extra yards needed to have been the Browns' leading receiver on the day.

And maybe that's the biggest missed opportunity of all from Sunday. The Browns were this close to their leading rusher being their punter, AND their leading receiver being their quarterback. In the same game. While blowing out the defending Super Bowl Champions (high five!) on the road. Holy shit.

As it was, David Bowens — a 33 year old, 12th year linebacker — accounted for 20 more yards and 2 more touchdowns than all 7 of Cleveland's receivers combined.

And if all that hasn't already made your head explode, it gets weirder. As I type this, I just heard Skip Bayless actually utter these words:

 Skip Bayless: I'm not ready yet to write off the Saints.

I shit you not, Skip Bayless just said that. Now watch, I'm gonna flip over to Cowherd and I'm never gonna finish this post, because he'll say something similar and my head will explode.

You know you're fucked when...How bad was it? Not only did Drew Brees bust out the Manning Face for the second time in three weeks, Sean Payton lagniapped the shit out of us with his trademarked Pursed Lips of Extreme Seriousness.

Uh oh. That's the double-whammy right there. That's how you know shit's really fucked up. That is, assuming the 2-3 record over the last five weeks and the losses to Arizona and Cleveland didn't quite get the point across.

Hey, at least this one wasn't a conference loss, right? High five!

Meanwhile, another loss means yet another round of the excruciatingly stupid and tedious perpetual argument over which faction of fans are morally superior. The good news is that business is picking up big time this week, with Hissy Fit Guy finally joining the fray.

What had up until now been a fairly run of the mill officially-sanctioned boxing match between Homer and Worrywart has turned into a full blown bare knuckles free-for-all bar brawl, with everybody indiscriminately throwing haymakers at whoever happens to be within reach.

Good times. Leave it to Hissy Fit Guy to remind us that we've all secretly been hating one another all along, and that there's no fun in keeping all that hostility bottled up.

I'm pretty sure that the only thing Saints fans can all agree on at this point is that maintaining one's composure is for chumps. You can be optimistic or pessimistic, your choice, but it's imperative that you be completely batshit insane about it one way or the other. After all, you don't wanna be pigeonholed as a "New Dat" do ya?

It's the goddamned McCarthy Hearings over here. Unless you're beating your spouse and/or animal companion and punching holes in your walls after a loss, or setting fellow Saints fans on fire for not responding to your "Who Dat!" cries with sufficient pep, you might as well just go ahead and produce them commie papers you've got in that there safe deposit box.

Me? Put me in front of a Senate Subcommittee if you must, but I'm not ready to bench Drew and fire Payton just yet, nor am I booking hotel rooms in Dallas for early February. I must be one of those bandwagon commie fans.

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