Ah yes, draft week is finally upon us. The rumors are flying, the Sportscenter specials are rolling, the message boards are booked to capacity with braying assbags while their owners scramble to clear standing room for more,  and the closer we get to the big day, the only thing everyone seems to agree upon is that the Saints probably won’t be making their first pick at the #10 slot.

Whatever happens, it’s gonna be a banner weekend down at the ole Bender household. The WWL stream will fire up somewhere around 9am… or, well, whenever WWL decides to start their coverage. Predictably, as seems to be the case every year, they don’t seem to be all too concerned with actually telling us exactly when that might be.

The ping pong table will be coming out shortly thereafter, and I’ll begin explaining to the neighbors who those dudes are with the crazy accents who are blaring from the wireless speakers. "Well, the hillbilly sounding dude is named Deke, see. The other hillbilly sounding dude is named Hokie. The dude who sounds like the oom-papa-mow-mow guy from the Oak Ridge Boys is Steve Korte. And the one who’s pretty much completely incomprehensible used to be our quarterback. No, I’m serious, that guy used to actually call plays in the huddle."

The aim is to be fully sloshed before it becomes obvious that Hebert is. Which means it’ll be an early morning.

Could be even earlier than that, depending on the menu. I’ve been going back and forth between throwing a big hunk of brisket and a big hunk of pork in the smoker, versus frying up some catfish, shrimp, oysters, onion rings, hushpuppies and whatever else might taste good dipped in hot oil. Might be a gametime decision.

Regardless, there will be plenty of Chelada™ in the ice chest and Kiper wigs for one and all.

Sometime between about 3:30 and next April, the Saints ought to be making their first selection. Mike Detillier, among others, seems to think that Sean Payton is gonna pack a Hawaiian shit and fake dreads in preparation to make a strong push for Dorsey. Others seem to think that a cheaper trade up for Ellis would be more prudent. Still others advocate trading down with Philly at 19 for Lito Sheppard. Others want the trade down, but for the purpose of stockpiling picks so that we’ll have a bunch of experienced guys on special teams in 2012. (Yay?)

Personally, I think Coach oughta rock the shirt and dreads regardless. But the common thread among all those scenarios is that Message Board Guy knows exactly which one should happen, and which one will happen. And he’s full of shit on both accounts.

Me? I’m gonna be too sloshed to be anything but happy about whatever happens.

If they trade up for Dorsey, it probably means they’re going all in to by God bring home a damned Lombardi before Fox inevitably decides to start airing American Idol from noon to 8pm each Sunday, which of course would bankrupt the league. Been to a mall lately?

If they trade up for Ellis, the same conclusion about their intentions applies. We here at moosedenied steadfastly support that attitude, given the current circumstances. To hell with the future (for now), win a championship and then worry about 2012. If it doesn’t happen, then at least you took your shot.

We wouldn’t be so eager to "mortgage the future" if we were taking about Keith Poole, Brett Bech, Troy Davis, Wilmont Perry, Pio Sagapolutele, Ink Aleaga, Heath Shuler, Danny Abramowicz and that whole cabal. Fortunately for us, we’re not. Right now, for the time being, we can call them contenders with a straight face. The guy who’s not willing to "mortgage the future" under the current circumstances is the guy who never moves out of his $500 one bedroom apartment, opting instead to leave his 1978 Datsun and fat savings account to…. well, nobody. If not now, when? Take your shot or die not-really-trying.

For all practical purposes, trading down for Sheppard probably puts to a merciful end The Jason David Experience. We’re on record as at least entertaining the notion that David might, just might, not be quite as bad in 2008 as he was in 2007. And that’s all fine and good. Furthermore, Sheppard’s no Champ Bailey.

But on the other hand, five months later, it seems like a lot of people have begun to let themselves forget just how bad David was last year. There’s been a lot of talk about how maybe the root of the problem was the safeties, or the pass rush, or Gary Gibbs. And there’s probably some truth in there somewhere.

But regardless of anything else that might have contributed to it, David wasn’t just bad. He wasn’t just very bad. He was historically bad. All-time bad. Epic failure. It’s one thing to hope he’ll recover, it’s one thing to give him every opportunity to recover. We support that. But it’s a whole different thing to depend on it. The Saints have already proven that they’re not depending on it. Trading for Sheppard just reinforces that, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Drafting a corner at 10 might net greater rewards in 2012, but screw 2012.

And then there’s the big white guy with the (formerly) long blond hippie hair. Might as well petition the league now to put #68 on him, because if he ends up on the Saints roster, for better or worse, it seems that Message Board Guy just can’t get past the skin tone, the hair, the big mouth and the "ey" on the end of his last name. I’m sure he’ll be tossing Jets helmets around and complaining about the postgame buffet in short order.

moosedenied is still on the fence about Shockey. On the plus side, we’d really dig the opportunity to refer to him as "One In The Stink" for the next several years. And though Message Board Guy will insist that it’s only because of our black & gold glasses that blind us to the horrible truth, we maintain our strong confidence in Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis. It’s a good thing our black & gold glasses haven’t blinded us to the fact that Message Board Guy is a perpetually-miserable asshole who is full of shit and doesn’t know half of what he constantly insists that he does.

On the other hand, we still can’t shake the nagging thought that Shockey is yet another offensive luxury acquisition for a team that needs to fix the leaks in the roof before it lays down brand new expensive carpet.

Still, maybe we’re just pie-in-the-sky saps, but all of these scenarios carry their own appeal. Come out of this draft with a corner, tight end and middle linebacker who have each been to Pro Bowls, rather than an assload of rookies, and is that really cause to pitch a hissy fit?

The answer is no. But of course, there’s almost never any good cause to pitch a hissy fit. Fortunately for Message Board Guy, he doesn’t quibble over trivial matters like cause.

Meantime, you might wanna go ahead and brace yourselves if you’re planning on coming back to this here blog after the draft. Because we can just about assure you that we’ll be cheerleading for whatever scenario ends up playing itself out.

And we’re probably gonna go ahead and do one of those guest commentary posts that we gave up on after last preseason too. So if you happen to find yourself on the internet on draft day, perhaps on a message board, feel free to drop by and sling some comedy around instead of, or before, gouging your eyes out with an icepick.