Welcome to my breakdown
I hope I didn’t scare you
That’s just the way we are when we come down
We sweat and laugh and scream here
‘cuz life is just a dream here
You know inside you feel right at home here

That loud crunching sound you heard Sunday afternoon was the sound of hundreds of thousands of souls being crushed under the weight of the Saints’ general incompetence. Damned if I wasn’t less than a week away from completely forgetting what that feels like.

NFC Championship? Nah. I was still riding high on the wave of euphoria from the Saints just being there in the first place. Colts game last week? Nah. It was the Colts. And the irrational exuberance of the start of a season with unprecedented expectations served to soften the blow.

This? Well, fuck this. The Buccaneers? Really? Nah, I just shouldn’t have eaten those mushrooms with the purple stuff on the bottoms of their caps. Right? RIGHT??? What planet am I on, and how can I get back to the one where the Saints are contenders? Hell, I’d settle for the one where the Saints are competitive.

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
‘Til they got a hold of me.
I opened doors for little old ladies,
I helped the blind to see.

But when I die, I want you to remember me as I am right now. A steaming pile of simmering rage.