It’s game week, bitches! Or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Hey, it’s August. I’ll take what I can get for now.

At any rate, Susanna Hoffs leads the Bangles into the Superdome Friday night for what promises to be the undisputed must-see concert of 1986.

Why are the Saints constantly playing these assholes? Material is getting harder to come by. I’ve already bagged on former mayor Jerry Springer, the bimonthly race riots, the northern Kentucky location and that crazy shit they seem to think qualifies as something resembling "chili." I’ve made countless WKRP references. Hell, I’ve even done the Bangles gag before. How much Cincinnati-themed schtick can one douchebag with a blog be reasonably expected to spew forth onto these here internets? I mean, it’s not like they’re Cleveland. I’m not even sure they’re Akron. "Who dey?" indeed.

You won’t be hearing many "Who dey?" chants in the Dome Friday night though. Word on the street is that they’ve put the "Who dey?" chant on the back burner in recent years, in favor of more original options such as "Geau Bengals", "Bless You, Guys!" and "Cha-Chong!" They’ve also adopted a new logo featuring a tiger with a huge fucking chin, and they’ve hired a tee-fetching dog named "Skyline 4-Way." Where do they come up with this stuff? My guess is that they "borrowed" most of it from Toledo.

Meantime, I’m not sure if you’ve seen this posted on your favorite message board, but Malcolm Jenkins signed. I didn’t believe it the first 50 times I saw it, I usually wait for confirmation from the guy who bursts onto the scene 18 hours later and is absolutely sure that he was the first guy on earth to have noticed ESPN’s ticker mention the BREAKING NEWS! Which happened yesterday.

Fortunately for me, I already knew it was coming. See, I happen to visit a message board which features several "insider" type guys who "know people" and "hear things." Which is pretty fuckin’ sweet, because those guys had been saying since Saturday, SATURDAY!, that they were pretty sure this thing was gonna happen soon. You know, based on what Jenkins’ Twitter page their sources had been telling them.

I mean, sure, the longer these kinds of things drag out, the more likely you are to be right when you guess predict that resolution is imminent. I had kinda figured that out on my own, but it sure is nice to have that confirmed by Message Board Guy who totally delivers pizza to unnamed high-ranking officials within the organization who tell him everything.

Of course, moosedenied has our own sources. Oh, it’s true. We’re total big shots. We were able to reach two of our inside contacts for their reactions to the Jenkins signing:

Jason David and Danny Gorrer: Shit.

It’s a good thing Jenkins signed when he did, because I was thiiiis close to lighting my torch, honing up my pitchfork and joining the blue-collar internet posse that had been forming (like it does every year) to teach that jerk kid about "the real world." See, it’s a fine line between "upstanding young man who is already going above and beyond for the sake of THE TEAM" and "greedy bastard who doesn’t realize how ‘lucky’ he is to ‘play a kid’s game’ for a living."

Say, anybody run that whole "kid’s game" thing by Earl Campbell lately? I’m sure he’d totally agree, and advise Malcolm to take whatever the organization was willing to give him for the "privilege" of such a cushy gig. As opposed to the real heroes, like state troopers.

In less tedious and predictable news, Saturday was the annual Black & Gold Scrimmage. About an hour in, moosedenied received the following Twitter message:

TheRealJShock: lol srsly what the FUCK?!? so-called fans didnt even show up what a bunch of bitches its like a gohst town over here i dont get it

Who needs Cincinnati when you’ve got Teh Shockmeister?

If there’s one thing you can TAKE TO THE BANK from Saturday’s scrimmage, it’s that Joey Harrington is totally poised to take the #2 quarterback gig for this team. Not surprising, as I’m pretty sure anyone who’s been paying attention has had Joey pegged as a steaming pile of #2 for quite a while now. But I’m sure that was all Detroit’s fault. And Miami’s. And Atlanta’s. Oh yeah, I’m sure he’s just great now. Kinda like Marteen Gramatica was.

I mean sure, he’s no Tyler Palko, Matt Baker or Tory Woodbury. But really, who among us is? On a totally unrelated note, anybody know what Guido Merkens is up to these days?

Aside from that, who the hell knows? I guess the Saints are a rushing juggernaut now. Or our defense can’t stop the run for shit. Maybe the Saints offense is so good that they wouldn’t miss a beat if Drew were to go down. Or the defense still sucks ass. Maybe Gregg Williams has these guys hell bent for leather re: creating turnovers. Or maybe Mike Bell still fumbles once per two carries and Joey Harrington still sucks.

I mean, maybe we’d have rock-solid answers to these questions by now, if we could believe a damn word out of Deke’s and/or Bobby’s mouths. But I’m not sure anything that came out of Deke’s and/or Bobby’s mouths were actual words. So your guess is as good as mine. (I’d still rather listen to them over Paula Deen, for what it’s worth.)

Fortunately for us, it won’t be long now before we’re able to see what these guys can do against Forrest Gregg, Ken Anderson and associates. Apparently the Bangles will be wearing black jerseys. No word on the pants & socks combo. Son of a bitch!

See, and I was all set to give the Bangles’ webmaster major props for being all over it. But what good are you if you can’t get the 411 on the pants & socks? Shit! Now what am I supposed to do? I’m gonna look like a total asshole when I show up in pants and socks that don’t match what the team is rockin’.

Maybe Message Board Guy can hook me up with some of that inside info.