Don’t you know I’m loco?

Insanity. 48 hours of total fucking insanity. Saturday morning: LSU’s coming off a loss. Going into an SEC Championship game that most LSU fans were pretty sure was a 50/50 proposition at best, starting their backup QB. Wondering who the opponent would be in the Cotton or, if we’re lucky, maybe the Cap1 Bowl. In an ironic role-reversal, Kirk Herbstreit, playing the role of internet message board douchebag, informs us that his super-secret "sources" have told him that Coach Miles was headed to Michigan.

About an hour later, I swear I could almost hear Jim Ross saying "My… MY GOD!!! I think that’s…. my God… that’s Coach Miles’ music!!!" Business was about to pick up. I could almost see the pyrotechnics as Coach Miles…. WALKED THAT ISLE (WOOOOOOO!) and, just like that, blew it all sky high. "You have a grrreat day."

The next several hours were a complete blur. Tracy Wolfson… Jonathan Zenon… Bob Stoops… Dave Wannstedt… Jack Daniel… Vladimir Stolichnaya… Lou Holtz’s head exploding. When the smoke cleared, LSU’s 33-6 head coach had spurned his alma mater, for whom he has a permanent and very public hard-on, the Tigers were the SEC Champions and well on their way to the BCS Championship Game. Holy…. shit.

Then Sunday came.

Unbelievable. Just unfuckingbelievable. Oh, I was already well aware of the fact that the Saints would lose. The cosmos would never allow my weekend to be that perfect. The cosmos is an asshole. But little did I know that it would be that cruel. I suppose I should have expected it from a kharmic equilibrium standpoint. Saturday was such a high, it was so perfect, that nothing less than a swift kick to the crotch could possibly balance it out.

And boy was that one hell of a powerful kick to the crotch.

If it helps at all, it’s not like the Saints gave away a game they should have won. They got their asses kicked all day. The Saints gave away a game that they should have been losing by about 30, but somehow were leading anyway. That really doesn’t make it any better, does it? Yeah, didn’t think so.

But really, let’s recap. Luke McCown completed about 50 straight passes. Luke McCown. Earnest Graham ran for 106 and 4.81 yards per carry. Earnest fucking Graham. We already knew Joey Galloway was going to own the Saints. When’s the last time he didn’t? And he hadn’t even had the opportunity to line up against Jason David yet. Total yards: 466 to 246. McCown: 29/37. How were the Saints even still in it with 3 minutes left?

Insanity. Somehow, the Saints were leading with 3 minutes left and had possession of the ball. Then all hell broke loose. To his credit, Sean Payton is falling on the sword for it. I suppose he figures that falling on a sword is preferable to being burned at the stake.

Was it a questionable call? Absolutely. Was it indefensible? Hardly. Coach Payton seems savvy enough to know that he has to beat himself up over it publicly, but I don’t think he really believes it was such a bad call. And I agree with him.

It’s easy to say that the Saints should have just run it straight ahead and run the clock. It’s easy to say that Coach Payton once again got "too cute" with a "trick play" when he should have just played straight-up grind-it-out football. But do we still need to be reminded that the Saints are no longer capable of playing grind-it-out football? I know that until that point, Reggie had run for 4.9 yards per carry on the day. But this was a very specific situation where everyone in the stadium was expecting up-the-gut run the clock playcalling. Does anybody still believe that Reggie or Stecker are capable of running against an 8 or 9 man front when everyone is looking for the run up the gut?

The Saints are incapable of playing that kind of football. Even for a little while. Not without Dulymus. I wish it weren’t true, but it is.

Furthermore, and this is what really chaps my ass with regard to the reaction to the call, it’s not like a freakin’ reverse is all that hard a play to execute. "Trick play?" Nah. Or at least, it shouldn’t be. Not for this offense. What’s so damned complicated about a reverse? Just execute the damned play.

I mean, really, a reverse? How many reverses and reverse-action plays has this team run over the last two years? They ought to be able to run that in their sleep. Are you kidding me? We’re talking about a second-round pick who used to be a running back, a first-round, Pro Bowl left tackle and a second-overall, one-billion dollar, supermodel-bangin’, product-endorsin’, ab-crunchin’ superstar. What, you’re gonna blame Coach Payton for trusting these guys to execute what, for this team, is just barely less "basic" than a handoff left off-tackle?

It’s fashionable to call Coach Payton out for being "too cute." And part of the reason it’s fashionable is because sometimes, maybe too often, it’s true. But not this time. Just execute the fucking play. If Coach Payton can’t count on that, then he’s doomed anyway. Any head coach would be.

Coach Payton claims that he saw something in Tampa’s defense that made him think that they could slit Tampa’s throats right then and there. I believe him. And I applaud him for taking that shot. I mean, my God, the Saints didn’t have jack shit working yesterday. The Saints, inexplicably, had a 3-point lead based on all of about 5 plays. The other 39 or so at that point were complete crap. 

Really? The Saints only had 44 offensive snaps yesterday? Yep. Why? Because the defense sucked just as badly. Payton was probably right to think that playing it by the book would have resulted in 3rd & 5, a Tampa time out, 4th and 3 and a punt with about 2 minutes left. And a 3-play, 80-yard drive for the Tampa win anyway.

The real shame is that evidently Coach Payton couldn’t trust his offense or his defense to win it "by the book." So he makes a ballsy call to steal the win, and his players can’t execute that either. Lovely.

Wanna talk about playing the percentages? League-wide percentages simply don’t apply to this team. This team is in Bizarro World. It’s just complete insanity. If Coach Payton is insane, then it’s a good thing he is. If he weren’t, this team might be 2-10.

What the hell has happened to this team?