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Tuesday, April 06, 2021

911 is a Joke

Going, going, gone. We dialed 911 a long time ago, don’t you see how late they reactin’? So much for Green Bay being bros about it and hooking us up with a little help in what was probably the last chance we had of getting it. Thanks, assholes.

All the Saints can do now is win out, which would include a win at Atlanta in week 16. But at this point, chances are that’s not gonna be enough. Down the stretch, Atlanta has Seattle, Tampa, and Carolina twice. The help ain’t coming, folks. It’s just not. It’s time to embrace the reality that if the Saints are gonna do this thing again, they’re gonna have to do it the hard way.

The good news? We get 20 Saints games this year rather than 19. High five!

More good news: Chances are that the Saints are gonna be the 5th seed and travel to the NFC West Chumpion for the wildcard game, and the current NFC West division leader just happens to be a dome team. On the other hand, the Saints are gonna kick their asses in a couple weeks, which could end up being a catch-22 because it could end up boning the Saints into having to go to Seattle, San Francisco or Arizona instead. Fortunately, they all blow too. So whatever.

As things stand right now, #5 New Orleans would go to #4 St. Louis and #6 New York would go to #3 Philly. If the Giants win, they’d go to #1 Atlanta and the Saints would go to #2 Chicago. If the Eagles win, they’d go to #2 Chicago and the Saints would go to #1 Atlanta.

So, theoretically, there’s a chance that the Saints could end up with two straight dome games on the way to the NFC Championship Game. But they’d have to play the NFCCG at either Chicago or Philly. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any part of Michael Vick. I’m not ashamed to admit it. And I’m practically drooling already just thinking about the opportunity for the Saints to shove a huge dose of kharma up Chicago’s asses.

But here’s another possibility: The Saints still hand the NFC West Chumps (whoever they might be) their asses, but the Giants beat Philly. The Saints shove the aforementioned huge dose of kharma up Chicago’s asses in the divisional round instead, and the Giants take care of Atlanta. Welcome to the Terrordome Superdome, Eli!

And even if Atlanta beats the Giants, the NFCCG is still in a dome. A crappy dome, sure. But a dome nonetheless.

So one way or the other, the Saints are gonna have to play at least two games on the road in January. Here’s the question: Would you rather take a 2-game dome route to an NFCCG in Philly or Chicago? Or would you rather take the cold weather game in the divisional round in exchange for an NFCCG in a dome?

I’m pretty sure just about everybody will opt for the Saints/Giants scenario that puts the NFCCG at the Superdome. And I’d agree of course. But that only happens if the Giants hold up their end of the bargain. Assuming the Giants lose, the Saints can go Atlanta-then-Chigago/Philly, or Chicago-then-Atlanta. Got a preference? I’m having a tough time deciding. (Sure, it could go Chicago-then-Philly, but I’m assuming nobody wants that. I sure as hell don’t.)

Meantime, I’m getting pretty sick and fucking tired of the rest of the NFC’s refusal to cooperate. Seems like every damn week everything’s coming up Milhouse right up until around 2:30 or so, then suddenly it all goes horribly wrong. Why does that keep happening? Shit!

All things considered though, this particular weekend wasn’t half bad by comparison. If Atlanta had to win, might as well be against Green Bay. Tampa lost. Minnesota beat Washington (OMG Leslie Frazier has totally fixed the Vikings!!!) which tips the scales a little more in favor of the Saints on the Donovan/Jammal Brown trade compensation. Seattle lost, putting a dome team in the NFC West lead. And Chicago beat Philly. (As previously confessed, I want no part of Michael Vick in the playoffs.)

All of which are nice, but the truth is that all that is trumped by the fact that 911 was a joke in A-Town. Green Bay was a fake life saver.

The good news? Brothers gonna work it out. The Saints are as good as any team in the NFC, and they’re peaking at the right time. If they’re gonna have to take the hard road home, I’m confident that they’re up to it.

Let’s get it on. #wegotthis